Tag Archives: friends

Steffi Says

We All Have Our Problems – Common Relationship Troubles Many Couples Have To Face

Leave a comment
From Pixabay

There is no such thing as the perfect couple. Whether we want to admit it or not, we all have our problems. It doesn’t matter how much you and your partner love one another; At some point, you are going to face a trouble or two, many of which have the power to cause major damage to your relationship. Perhaps a sister-in-law throws you daggers at every family function, or a promotion keeps you at work more than you’d like. Whatever the issue, it’s how you deal with it that’s important. With that in mind, here are ten common relationship troubles and how to handle them.

Problems With Loved Ones

No one chooses their family, but that fact doesn’t make your life any easier when you come to realize that your partner’s don’t particularly like you. However, instead of focusing on the negatives of the situation, you should try to look for the positives. For example, without these people, you wouldn’t have your partner at all. That being said, if a parent, sibling, or cousin does insist on being rude for no reason, you may want to bring it up with your partner at some point.

Not Enough Time Together

Couples tend to spend a lot of time together, especially when they live with one another. Because of this, when a couple starts to see each other less and less, it can create an upsetting and frustrating situation. To remedy this issue, you should plan time together in advance, and do everything you can to ensure that nothing interrupts your plans. If you’re both very busy, this can be a challenge, but it’s very rarely impossible. You can also text and call each other every day.

Too Much Time Together

That being said, some time apart from one another isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it can be incredibly valuable to a healthy relationship. It’s easy to feel suffocated when you’re with your significant other every minute of the day, so be sure you both plan things to do on your own. This could be to practice a hobby, visit your friends, head to the gym, or anything else you want to do without your partner. Be sure not to contact each other too much during this time, or there isn’t any point.

A Lack Of Trust

The reason some couples spend all of their time together is because of a lack of trust. For one reason or another, they don’t want their partners going off on their own, and so aim to be with them at all times. However, trust is an essential part of any relationship, which means that, if you don’t have any, it will cause problems. To build this trust up, you should both make an effort to be honest and consistent. You should also consider combatting your reasons for this lack of faith.

Insecurities About The Future

No one gets into a relationship planning for it to end. However, when you and your partner are going down different paths, this becomes more and more likely, causing serious insecurity. This is why you should speak to one another and try to find a compromise. For example, if you want children, but your partner has already had a vasectomy, they may be willing to adopt or have a reversal vasectomy to make this possible. There’s no use in worrying until you’ve talked about it.

Frequent Conflicts Concerning Money

Money is a major cause of trouble for most relationships, especially when you and your partner have wildly different spending habits. If you like to save and prepare for the future, but they blow their paycheque the first week of every month, it’s going to cause conflict now and then. Instead of shouting and screaming about it, you should sit down, talk it out, and find a middle ground you’re both happy with. Also, work together to solve money worries, rather than placing blame.

Vices Are An Issue

When you live your life mostly sober, but have a partner that smokes, drinks, or takes drugs regularly, it can make you feel uncomfortable, resulting in a distance and tension between the two of you. Telling your partner to quit is the simple solution to this issue, but they shouldn’t have to change themselves for you, even if their habit is harming their health. They need to want to change for themselves. However, you can ask that they keep their vices away from you.

Putting The Relationship Last

Being in a relationship for a long time can cause couples to take one another for granted. Instead of putting your partner first, like you would have done not so long ago, you start to cancel dates, leave messages unreplied to, and ignore simple requests. This may not seem like that big of a deal to you, but it will to your significant other. While there will be times when something else is genuinely more important, for the most part, you should put your relationship above all else.

Daily Wars About Chores

Some of the biggest arguments in relationships are all because of chores. Of course, when it seems as if you’re doing all of the housework alone, it’s easy to become frustrated, but, instead of blowing up, you should stay cool and have a calm conversation. List every chore in the house that needs to be done and decide between you who wants to do what. If there’s a task neither of you wants, then consider taking it in turns or hiring a professional to do it for you.

The Fun Is Gone

Boredom is a common issue for couples, especially for those that have been with each other for years. However, instead of resigning to a stale life, you should bring up the problem with your significant other. Chances are, they feel the exact same way that you do. If this is true, you should see if you can find any ways to spice things up again. A lot of couples find that going on a date or two is enough to bring back the feelings of the “honeymoon period” of their relationship.

Every relationship has troubles it needs to face. With the advice above, you should be able to deal with a few of the most common ones and get things back on track with your partner.   

Crazy Outbursts, Lessons Learned, My articles / researches, My Life, Steffi Says

Embracing Change

Leave a comment

Today, I feel inspired.

Today, while at work, I have attended a focus group regarding change and how to deal with it. This was informative to say the least. In fact, it made me realise how important it is to be positive in life – how to be determined, and to work hard for what you believe in.

In the last few months, a lot has changed in my life:

  1. In summer, I was made redundant. It was a real struggle for me. I have never been in this position before, and I certainly did not see it coming. I was in shock for a number of days, and I could not believe my luck – This could not come at a worse time, with the wedding coming up. After a bit, I had to face the music and started by overhauling my CV. I made sure I got a few good recommendations from some ex-colleagues, and started looking for a job. A month later, I got a job offer which I accepted and here I am.
  2. A new job and a new role later, this means more change and adaptation! Here I was, learning the ropes again. Luckily, I do love change so I took this challenge head on. Four months later, I feel like things are good again and I am settling in nicely.
  3. Friends. Well, that was another bump in the road – However, I decided that after all I have been through this summer, all those who did not care should be of no concern of mine. I made a decision to let go of what was worrying me – There was no longer a point investing my energy in them. Upwards and onward, they say.
  4. In the recent months, it was decided that myself and Daniel should look for a house to make it our own. This means that I will be selling my house. While this is something I want, it also requires myself (and Daniel) to uproot from the places we now call home. I am excited that we get to do this, but again it will not be an easy task – rewarding none the less.

In conclusion, change should be embraced with an open heart. While it might not feel positive in the beginning, things will get better – but only if you let them.

My articles / researches, My Life, Steffi Says

Coping With The Unfathomable Unfairness Of Loss

Leave a comment

When we lose a loved one, it can be like finding yourself in an emotional maelstrom. At first, shock can keep you from feeling anything besides on edge. We expect to feel the floodgates open and a lot of sadness but there is also anger and frustration. It can feel incredibly unfair, and that feeling can fester inside us, driving us to bad habits and real emotional health problems that can hard to break from. Here are a few ways that we can start to cope with the uglier side of loss.

steffisays-loss-death-graveyard
Photo Link

Take some time but don’t shut yourself away

If you’re not very used to opening yourself up, you might want to not appear so vulnerable before others. What’s more, you might feel like you’re surrounded by people following a loss and you simply have no time to think. If you need a break, ask for one and take time to yourself. However, your friends can be a great source of strength. Find someone you trust and talk out your emotions. Being unable to express them can make you unable to process them too. Even if your friend isn’t sure how they can help, having someone listen can be a great deal of help.

steffisays-loss-death-sorrow-bnw
Photo Link

Find what closure you can

If a loss is left without addressing the cause at all, it can make you feel particularly helpless. This happens, in particular, if it was someone else’s fault. If someone is responsible, then holding them to account with help of services like the Law Office of William W. Hurst, LLC can genuinely help. Money will never make up for a loss so deeply and keenly felt. However, ensuring that the right parties are held responsible can make it feel like they haven’t simply gotten away with it. You can have some closure and know that you got justice for your loved one. Otherwise, that injustice might weigh on your mind for a long time.

steffisays-loss-death-nature
Photo Link

Celebrate their life in your own way

Funerals and memorials are important ceremonies for processing the loss of a loved one, as well as celebrating their life. However, for those closest to them, it can feel incomplete. You may not be able to have the emotional closure you need or to feel like you have had a personal goodbye with such a public procedure. In that case, consider having your own memorial for them. You can follow some of the suggestions at Usurns Online, such as planting a tree for them or creating a keepsake pack for them. Others may choose to wear something in remembrance or even get a tattoo. Making your own memorial for them can make it feel like you’ve done a little more to honor them and to keep their memory living in your own mind.

Losing a loved one always feels cruel, unjustified, and unfair. However, it’s important that we take care of ourselves and not lose ourselves in our worst thoughts. Grieving isn’t easy, nor does it feel particularly good even when you’re on the other side. But we can do real harm to ourselves if we dwell.

 

Crazy Outbursts, Lessons Learned, My articles / researches, Steffi Says

Bad Relationships: How And Why You Should Get Out Of Them

Leave a comment

steffisays-love-couple-relationship.PNG
Image credit

Far too many people stay in bad relationships that end up affecting their mental health and ruining their chances in life. If you’re in one of those relationships at the moment; it is essential that you do something about it as soon as possible. Lots of women feel like they’re stuck, and so the information on this page should come in handy. The article explains why you need to get out of the relationship, and it also offers some advice on the methods and strategies you might like to consider. With that in mind, let’s get started!

Why you need to get out of your bad relationship

Confidence

People in adverse or negative relationships will always suffer a lack of confidence that can affect their lives in many different ways. You might never apply for that dream job, and you might never fulfill your ambitions of launching a company or volunteering and traveling the world.

Happiness

As mentioned a moment ago, bad relationships can affect your mental health and leave you feeling depressed or anxious. Unless you want to visit a therapist every week and take medication for the rest of your life; it is imperative that you remove yourself from the situation as soon as possible.

Opportunities

Being in a bad relationship can mean you never take up the opportunities available because you worry about their effect on your partner. That can mean you miss out on a lot of things that could change your life for the better.

How you should get out of your bad relationship

Stay with friends

You might feel like there is no hope and nowhere to go. However, most of us have understanding friends who will help out when we need them most. So, maybe you could go and stay with someone you know for a few weeks to get your head straight?

Accept a new job

Getting yourself out of your routine and putting yourself in a position to meet lots of new people is always a sensible move. Maybe you could accept a new job in a different city or something similar? Use that as an excuse to end the relationship and start over.

Get a divorce

If you made the mistake of marrying the wrong person; things could become a little more complicated. However, you just need to speak to a divorce lawyer and ask for their assistance. With a bit of luck, you can start the ball rolling in a matter of days, and you are sure to feel better straight away.

Now you know how and why you need to get out of your bad relationship; you should feel a little more confident in creating your plan of action. It could be good if you could sit down with the person, explain your problems, and iron them out. However, that isn’t always possible, and so sometimes you have to put yourself first. Whatever happens, ensure you make improvements in your life and avoid getting into relationships with the wrong people in the future.  

My Life, Steffi Says

Engagement Day

5 Comments

For many, the 19th of May meant nothing but the marriage of Prince Harry to Megan dsc_5108.jpgMarkle. To myself, my partner and our families, it was the day of our Engagement Party. For us, it was a very important day, not just as a milestone in our relationship but also because we wanted to share this with our closest family and friends. We wanted them to be present and share with us the happiness and love such an event brings.

It was also the first time my partner, Daniel, met with my entire family – with all my uncles and aunties. I thought it is a very important step before our wedding day next year to get to know where I’ve come from.

Since we planned the party ourselves, the months which lead to our party were busy; we spent a considerable amount of time planning it out. Not just the food, but also the music list, the guest list. Coming up with the invitation, and the decor. Needless to say the decor was for me the most exciting and challenging part. Thinking about what we might need on the day, creating and customising props and buying decor. Although I did most of the research, we chose everything together. Daniel also worked on building a wooden box from scratch, in which we put the cards the guests brought us on the day.

The party itself was filled with smiles and happy relatives and friends. It was also a get-together, as some of the guests we did not see for a good number of years! I thought, it was great, that we managed to do this. Especially for the fact that it was the first time in 24 years that my mother’s siblings were all under the same roof! Having family living overseas, makes it difficult for all of us to meet for every occasion, especially those who live as far as South Africa!

The blessing of the rings, and the cutting of the cake, were the highlight of the evening for us, mainly because of what they symbolise. The joining of two, who have the same outlook and dreams in life. To love, and to cherish. Now onto the big day next year!

 

Details:

Crazy Outbursts, Lessons Learned, My articles / researches, Steffi Says

5 Steps to NOT be an asshole

Leave a comment

It is true that being proud and comfortable with yourself has its benefits… However, if you find yourself looking at your image gallery on social media, and all you are brostop-being-an-assholewsing through is pictures of yourself, you have probably taken it too far. If you find yourself continuously talking about yourself, and your only specialty is proving others wrong, then it’s time to admit you have a problem.

If this bothers you on the verge of becoming pissed off, as you think I am writing about you, keep reading… I dare you!

Here’s a few points on how to build yourself into a regular human being to give you the possibility of having meaningful relationships:

1. Being Right
One of the ways to drive another crazy is this idea that you have to always be right. It gets worse when you are in the wrong, but you keep persisting until you hear the other agreeing with you. The reason why one keeps being so persistent is probably because it feels good to be right. However, this is at a detriment of friendships and relationships, as in reality no one enjoys being proven wrong every time there is an argument; let alone when they are sure they are right!

2. Me first
As much as we should respect ourselves, one should not interrupt another – one should listen. Sometimes, all we need is to be heard. No need to come up with a fix or a solution. Although the intention might be genuine, we need to learn to listen, let the other feel and express what he is feeling and instead, understand what they are going through. If they need your help, they will let you know since they chose to confide in you.

if-i-wanted-to-listen-to-an-asshole-i-would-fart

3. Ass kissing
The opposite of always being right, is trying too hard to get people to like you. Being that person who agrees to anything and everything, will make those around you lose your credibility.  Your words will not mean much since they are adjusted depending on the belief of your audience.

4. Attitude
No one is perfect, and everyone falls in this equation – including you! Stop being such a selfish, inconsiderate jerk. The world is not yours, but ours to share and live in. If you have nothing nice to say, you are better keeping your mouth shut! The only way you can be considerate is by thinking things through – Pause and review what you are about to say; be it in person, on the phone, email etc. Practice makes perfect – Funny, practice makes us better people.

5. Building up
Instead of talking about yourself, spend time to compliment someone unprovoked… Ask a question about themselves and their life in a conversation. Celebrate the success of others, rather than turning the subject about yourself. Stop thinking about yourself and focus on the others in the room with you. If you truly care about those around you, it will sooner or later become natural to do so, and your actions will follow suit.

Advice, My articles / researches, My Life, Steffi Says

5 Simple Ways to Wow Your Wedding Guests

Leave a comment

You’d like to think that simply looking your stunning best will be enough to make your wedding guests say ‘wow,’ and it will! But it’s also true that every bride looks amazing on their special day. If you want to make yours stand out from the crowd, then you’ll want to go the extra mile to make it memorable. Below, we take a look at five ways you can make your guests feel the love – and have a day they’ll always remember.

cermony-wedding-decor-malta-plan.JPG

Pick a Unique Venue

You could pick a venue that’s close to where you live, but where’s the fun in that? There are a million and one unique, beautiful venues across Europe, and with inexpensive flights available to and from many countries, it’s not that much of a hassle to ask your friends and family to travel overseas. If you’re not of an overly traditional bent, then you might want to consider getting married away from the church. A beautiful ceremony set among lush woodlands, with fairy lights making the space look extra magical, for example, is guaranteed to impress your guests.

Make a Strong First Impression

Of course, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to wow your wedding guests before they reach the ceremony. You can make a strong first impression by investing in beautiful wedding invitations, and by asking your guests to RSVP with added details – such as a song they’d like to hear at the wedding party. You may even ‘wow’ your guests by simply asking that they don’t bring anything other than themselves – that means no gifts – to the wedding, which is a touching detail if the ceremony is taking place overseas. Get creative with your invites, and you’ll have people keenly anticipating the fun days to come!

Riding in Style

The ceremony and the party rarely take place at the same place, so how are your guests going to get from one place to the other? Normally, this will involve a series of taxis, but there’s not going to be anything normal about your wedding! Instead, put on some funky transport, such as a themed party coach, or limos, or – if it’s not too far – a series of horse carriages for everyone. It’ll be much more exciting than having everyone patiently queuing for the next series of taxis to turn up.

Extra Touches

You’re going to have people from all walks of life attending your wedding; relatives, old friends, work colleagues, and so on, and they’re not all going to know one another. So why not help them up by adding a “who’s who” to the seating plan? You can show everyone how they know each other through six degrees of separation. It’s a great way to move past small talk and onto the fun times!

And Relax

You’ve got a dance-floor; how about a place to relax? Some people don’t want to dance all night but do want to be involved. Create a space that allows them to be involved and also unwind. They’ll love you for it.

Experiences Abroad, My articles / researches, My Life, Steffi Says

Travel To These Countries When You’re On A Budget

1 Comment

If you’re travelling on a budget, chances are you’ve had some of the best holiday trips of a lifetime. You’ve mingled with locals, taken part in local activities, and bunked down in countless hostels. Yet, a lot of people don’t believe the amount of enrichment a person can get from a budget!

There’s a lot of budget friendly destinations out there, and even when you only have a few dollars in your pocket to pay for the street food, the accommodation and experiences can still be fantastic! Make sure to include these places on your bucket list whilst you’re missing out on rolling in the millions; there’s a lot you can do for free when you know where to look.

world

Take a Trip to South Africa

South Africa is one of the most culturally enriched and beautiful places to see in your lifetime, and there’s a lot to do considering the size of the continent itself. One of the biggest and most famous activities to undertake is the Safari, as this is a gateway to a whole world of nature with the biggest and best-est animals all on show. Thankfully, this is totally within your reach when you’re on a budget!

You can even travel via the air here quite cheaply when you’re got the right resources in your pocket. When you have the best airline credit card promotion on your side, the travel itself is going to become a lot cheaper to manage. Getting rewards out of the vast mileage it takes to get here is going to be lovely to live on when you get home again!

Head to Prague

This is one of the most popular tourist destinations when it comes to capital cities, and that may immediately turn you away from it, but it’s incredibly cheap to visit when you’re on a budget. There are so many amazing sights to see for free, such as the Vltava River. Even just taking a bridge tour can take an entire day here!

There’s a lot of history on offer here, with Europe having one of the most extensively recorded histories in the world for you to explore. Similarly, if you like the pub scene, there’s a lot of world famous local brews to try out here; always good for a night out with you and a couple of friends!

Try Out Bulgaria

This country definitely deserves a spot on your travel wishlist! It’s a little known tourist spot, and that title is completely unjust considering the amount of beaches alone. You can visit any stretch of sands and stone; discover so much history and nature in one.

There’s an entire and extensive arts district on offer for your eyes, and your wallet, if you pay Bulgaria a visit. Check into some of the biggest cultural hotspots in Europe just by taking a trip to this capital city, which is also pretty cheap.

Remember: a budget never has to mean you can’t explore the planet you were born on!

 

Lessons Learned, Malta, My articles / researches, My Life, Steffi Says

How to Organise the Perfect Indoor BBQ In Winter

1 Comment

There is one thing we all miss in the winter: the ability to invite people around for an afternoon of barbecue. If you feel like your social life has suffered as the weather got colder, you might want to get creative and recreate the feeling of summer in your home, and hold an indoor party that cheers you up and makes your weekends more exciting. Below you will find a few tips on how to get started.

House Party

Get a Quality Grill

There are plenty of great quality health fryers and grills you can use, and the results will be the same as on the flames. You might want to get an indoor electric or gas grill set up in your kitchen, or keep it outside, and have the party in the conservatory, if you have one. If you are not sure which type of meat will be the best for your indoor grilling, you can always ask your local butcher or farm shop for advice.

Make Loads of Punch and Mulled Wine

To warm up the atmosphere and your visitors, you might want to get the punch and mulled wine on the hob, instead of cold beer and wine. You can create your hot cocktails yourself, and lay them out for your guests to try and rate. Get your recipes and creativity going, and impress your friends this winter.

Create a Menu and Start Cooking

House BBQ

Get some finger food on the menu, as well as the grilled meat. Offer bacon sandwiches, savoury pies prepared the previous day, and order some pastry from your local shop. Don’t forget about the fresh salad and entree, and get a bowl of soup out, so your guests can help themselves whenever they want to. You can make your own coleslaw, bake your rolls fresh, to go with the meat and the soup.

Get the Caterers In

Depending on the size of your party, you might want to get some help. Caterers can help you out with equipment that keeps the food warm and fresh, as well as laying out the dishes. Check out Singapore caterer ezBBQ to find out what services are available, and how you can make the most out of your indoor barbecue. Alternatively, you can order a hot pudding from a local catering company, and torch your own creme-brulees.

Add Lighting, Decoration, and Music

To get the conversation flowing, and cheer up your friends arriving, you can decorate your home with winter paintings and snowflakes. You might want to get a winter wax melt on the go, and install a mood light. Create a playlist that you can stream from your phone and control the volume according to what your guests are doing.

Just because it is cold and wet outside, your social life should go on. Organise a creative indoor BBQ party, and cheer yourself and your friends up. Make sure that you have adequate extractor fans installed in the house, though, otherwise, your house will smell of barbecue for a long time.

 

Lessons Learned, My articles / researches, My Life, Steffi Says

How To Feel Better About Yourself This Year

Leave a comment

The beginning of a new year is often a fresh start for many people. For some, it can be a daunting thought that it’s just going to be the same old, but in a different year and that can be depressing for some, especially when you see people on social media appearing to have much better lives than you do. If this is sounding familiar then you more than likely need a confidence boost, and a helping hand to feeling better about yourself. Here are some ways in which you can feel better about yourself this year.

dusk

Eat cleaner

A common reason for someone feeling sluggish and down in the dumps is purely down to the fact that you’re not eating the right foods. Junk food will bring you down in many ways, not just your weight. It will cause you to breakout in spots, have drier skin, and it can even affect your mental state of mind. Try eating cleaner and you will feel much better in yourself quicker than you think. You will notice that you’re less bloated, your skin will clear up, and you will have much more energy than before; therefore having a brighter outlook on life.

Sort out money matters

Another reason that people feel down in the dumps is because money is tight or their is a debt looming over their shoulders. Take on some extra hours at work or get another part time job so that you can build money up and not feel like you’re living paycheck to paycheck. If you’re in debt and are worrying about how to pay off what you owe, it might be worth thinking about borrowing money to consolidate all existing debts into one loan and paying just one thing off every month. Take a look at these small unsecured personal loans and see if there’s anything that can help solve your situation.

Try something new

Trying something new can give you a brighter outlook on life almost instantly. This could range from trying a new place to eat out with your partner, or it could be taking on a new hobby that you haven’t tried before. Hobbies don’t have to cost much (if anything) either, and they can bring a new breath of fresh air into your life and make you feel better. Alternatively, if you’ve got something that’s been on a bucket list of yours, then why not take the opportunity to tick off something on your list?!

Have a clear-out

Having a cluttered home can bring even the strongest of people down. Take some time to clear out your home of unwanted belongings and give it a deep clean. Having a fresh clean home can make you much happier, and if things are more organised you’re likely to keep it clear too.

Finally, if you’re feeling hopeless a lot, don’t hesitate to speak to your GP. Depression is nothing to be ashamed of and you should never suffer alone!