Tag Archives: hobby

We All Have Our Problems – Common Relationship Troubles Many Couples Have To Face

From Pixabay

There is no such thing as the perfect couple. Whether we want to admit it or not, we all have our problems. It doesn’t matter how much you and your partner love one another; At some point, you are going to face a trouble or two, many of which have the power to cause major damage to your relationship. Perhaps a sister-in-law throws you daggers at every family function, or a promotion keeps you at work more than you’d like. Whatever the issue, it’s how you deal with it that’s important. With that in mind, here are ten common relationship troubles and how to handle them.

Problems With Loved Ones

No one chooses their family, but that fact doesn’t make your life any easier when you come to realize that your partner’s don’t particularly like you. However, instead of focusing on the negatives of the situation, you should try to look for the positives. For example, without these people, you wouldn’t have your partner at all. That being said, if a parent, sibling, or cousin does insist on being rude for no reason, you may want to bring it up with your partner at some point.

Not Enough Time Together

Couples tend to spend a lot of time together, especially when they live with one another. Because of this, when a couple starts to see each other less and less, it can create an upsetting and frustrating situation. To remedy this issue, you should plan time together in advance, and do everything you can to ensure that nothing interrupts your plans. If you’re both very busy, this can be a challenge, but it’s very rarely impossible. You can also text and call each other every day.

Too Much Time Together

That being said, some time apart from one another isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it can be incredibly valuable to a healthy relationship. It’s easy to feel suffocated when you’re with your significant other every minute of the day, so be sure you both plan things to do on your own. This could be to practice a hobby, visit your friends, head to the gym, or anything else you want to do without your partner. Be sure not to contact each other too much during this time, or there isn’t any point.

A Lack Of Trust

The reason some couples spend all of their time together is because of a lack of trust. For one reason or another, they don’t want their partners going off on their own, and so aim to be with them at all times. However, trust is an essential part of any relationship, which means that, if you don’t have any, it will cause problems. To build this trust up, you should both make an effort to be honest and consistent. You should also consider combatting your reasons for this lack of faith.

Insecurities About The Future

No one gets into a relationship planning for it to end. However, when you and your partner are going down different paths, this becomes more and more likely, causing serious insecurity. This is why you should speak to one another and try to find a compromise. For example, if you want children, but your partner has already had a vasectomy, they may be willing to adopt or have a reversal vasectomy to make this possible. There’s no use in worrying until you’ve talked about it.

Frequent Conflicts Concerning Money

Money is a major cause of trouble for most relationships, especially when you and your partner have wildly different spending habits. If you like to save and prepare for the future, but they blow their paycheque the first week of every month, it’s going to cause conflict now and then. Instead of shouting and screaming about it, you should sit down, talk it out, and find a middle ground you’re both happy with. Also, work together to solve money worries, rather than placing blame.

Vices Are An Issue

When you live your life mostly sober, but have a partner that smokes, drinks, or takes drugs regularly, it can make you feel uncomfortable, resulting in a distance and tension between the two of you. Telling your partner to quit is the simple solution to this issue, but they shouldn’t have to change themselves for you, even if their habit is harming their health. They need to want to change for themselves. However, you can ask that they keep their vices away from you.

Putting The Relationship Last

Being in a relationship for a long time can cause couples to take one another for granted. Instead of putting your partner first, like you would have done not so long ago, you start to cancel dates, leave messages unreplied to, and ignore simple requests. This may not seem like that big of a deal to you, but it will to your significant other. While there will be times when something else is genuinely more important, for the most part, you should put your relationship above all else.

Daily Wars About Chores

Some of the biggest arguments in relationships are all because of chores. Of course, when it seems as if you’re doing all of the housework alone, it’s easy to become frustrated, but, instead of blowing up, you should stay cool and have a calm conversation. List every chore in the house that needs to be done and decide between you who wants to do what. If there’s a task neither of you wants, then consider taking it in turns or hiring a professional to do it for you.

The Fun Is Gone

Boredom is a common issue for couples, especially for those that have been with each other for years. However, instead of resigning to a stale life, you should bring up the problem with your significant other. Chances are, they feel the exact same way that you do. If this is true, you should see if you can find any ways to spice things up again. A lot of couples find that going on a date or two is enough to bring back the feelings of the “honeymoon period” of their relationship.

Every relationship has troubles it needs to face. With the advice above, you should be able to deal with a few of the most common ones and get things back on track with your partner.   

Bad Relationships: How And Why You Should Get Out Of Them

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Image credit

Far too many people stay in bad relationships that end up affecting their mental health and ruining their chances in life. If you’re in one of those relationships at the moment; it is essential that you do something about it as soon as possible. Lots of women feel like they’re stuck, and so the information on this page should come in handy. The article explains why you need to get out of the relationship, and it also offers some advice on the methods and strategies you might like to consider. With that in mind, let’s get started!

Why you need to get out of your bad relationship

Confidence

People in adverse or negative relationships will always suffer a lack of confidence that can affect their lives in many different ways. You might never apply for that dream job, and you might never fulfill your ambitions of launching a company or volunteering and traveling the world.

Happiness

As mentioned a moment ago, bad relationships can affect your mental health and leave you feeling depressed or anxious. Unless you want to visit a therapist every week and take medication for the rest of your life; it is imperative that you remove yourself from the situation as soon as possible.

Opportunities

Being in a bad relationship can mean you never take up the opportunities available because you worry about their effect on your partner. That can mean you miss out on a lot of things that could change your life for the better.

How you should get out of your bad relationship

Stay with friends

You might feel like there is no hope and nowhere to go. However, most of us have understanding friends who will help out when we need them most. So, maybe you could go and stay with someone you know for a few weeks to get your head straight?

Accept a new job

Getting yourself out of your routine and putting yourself in a position to meet lots of new people is always a sensible move. Maybe you could accept a new job in a different city or something similar? Use that as an excuse to end the relationship and start over.

Get a divorce

If you made the mistake of marrying the wrong person; things could become a little more complicated. However, you just need to speak to a divorce lawyer and ask for their assistance. With a bit of luck, you can start the ball rolling in a matter of days, and you are sure to feel better straight away.

Now you know how and why you need to get out of your bad relationship; you should feel a little more confident in creating your plan of action. It could be good if you could sit down with the person, explain your problems, and iron them out. However, that isn’t always possible, and so sometimes you have to put yourself first. Whatever happens, ensure you make improvements in your life and avoid getting into relationships with the wrong people in the future.  

How To Spot A Fake Online Dating Profile

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There is no denying the popularity of online dating in the current day and age. In an era when we all seem to be time poor and technology oriented, the Internet provides us with the perfect platform to find Mr. Right. However, the only issue is that there are going to be a lot of Mr. Wrongs out there that you need to weed through first. With that being said, read on to discover how to spot a fake online dating profile so you don’t end up being cat-fished!

    • Lack of detail / discrepancies in their profile story
      When you are genuinely looking to find love, it is important to make your profile detailed so that you attract people that have the same sort of interests as you. You can find some tips on writing an online dating profile here: https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/online-dating-advice/online-dating-profile-tips/online-dating-profile-examples-for-women/. If a profile is lacking any detail, it does not necessarily mean it is fake, but this is a common trait of fake profiles. After all, they do not want to give anything away. They will try to mould themselves into the person they believe you want once they start talking to you. Another sign that a profile is fake is if their story doesn’t add up. Is their profile contradicting what they tell you in their messages?
    • Stock profile photos
      This is one of the key signs that the profile you are looking at is not going to be the love of your life. If their profile appears like a stock photo, then the chances are it probably is. If you do a little bit of digging online, you will probably be able to find the photograph with ease. Moreover, if the profile only contains one photo rather than several, this is another indicator that it could be fake.
    • Let other people spot fake profiles for you
      Last but not least, the best way to make sure you do not fall victim to a fake online dating profile is to use a professional matchmaking service rather than a free online dating website. You can find more information about this by visiting https://macbeth-matchmaking.com/dating/matchmaking-and-dating-services/ . With matchmaking services, every person that joins the agency will be vetted to ensure that they are genuine. You will then be matched to a person based on your likes and interests, as well as what you are looking for from a relationship. This dramatically increases the chances of you finding the perfect man for you.

So there you have it – some useful tips on how to spot a fake online dating profile! If you have noticed any of the signs that have been discussed in this blog post, stay away from the dating profile in question. The last thing you want to do is think you’re meeting up with David Beckham only to discover the man of your dreams is more like David Brent!

Best Castles in Germany

I have quite a soft-spot for Germany. My fascination started way back when I was barely a teenager. At that time, I was supporting the German National Football Club, better known as Die Mannschaft. Since then, I discovered another love – Castles. After exhausting my travels in the UK, in 2016 I started traveling to Germany. So far, I have visited between 30 to 40 castles in Germany and based on my experience, I would like to write about my favourite 5 castles (so far!) in Deutschland!

Burg Hohenzollern

Located on top of Mount Hohenzollern, one can find a very distinguished castle.  What I would also call distinguished is the view from the castle onto the surroundings; the mesmerizing view of the Black Forest. Upon entering this castle, one would realise that no expense was spared in building and maintaining this castle.

The first mention of the castle was in 1267, however the mentioned castle was completely destroyed in 1423. Roughly 30 years later, the second Hohenzollern Castle was built – now bigger than ever. The fortification around it is a testimony of several conversions the castle has endured during its lifetime. To this day, the structure is sound and in perfect condition thanks to all the tourists who have visited and will visit in the years to come. Personally, I appreciate it when admission fees are used for the maintenance and renovation of the castle I visited.

 

Burg Eltz

Located along the Mosel Valley, one finds a breathtaking castle by the name of Eltz. Remembering the first time I visited this castle, I was unaware of the long (and pleasant) walk in the forest to reach it. We were puzzled; How is it that we are visiting a castle so out of sight? Trust me, the fifteen minute walk is worthwhile. If you find this as an obstacle, you can always take the shuttle bus however! English tours are available in this castle which is kind of expected considering how popular this castle is.

The castle is still owned by the same family who around 33 generation ago lived there. Eltz is one of the only three castles on the left bank of River Rhine which has never been destroyed. Construction started prior to 1157. Another house within the castle was built in the 1400s, whilst the third part of the castle was considered finished in the 1530s. The upside of this last construction is the fact that each room was heated, unlike the remaining parts of the castle which were partly heated only. The Eltz family is still considered noble to this day.

Schloss Drachenburg

Although Shloss Drachenburg looks like a castle, in fact to me, it looks very similar to Disney Castle, this is considered as a villa. What is unbelievable about it is that it was built in just two years between 1882 and 1884. It belonged to a banker who initially planned to make it a home, but then he didn’t. It was later donated to the State Foundation and is now open for the public. The western facade of the palace was heavily damaged in WW2. The restoration took many years to fulfill as even roofs needed to be replaced.

Aside from the beautiful views of Bonn and the river from the very top of the castle, one must admire the interiors who have been hand-painted all these years ago and are to this day so well maintained. I also remember huge stained glass windows, with details I have never witnessed before; and even after visiting several other castles in other countries, still remain unbeatable…

Pfalzgrafenstein Castle

Pfalzgrafenstein – such a big name, for such a small castle! One can find this little gem in the middle of River Rhine. In fact, to gain access to it, you’d have to ride a short boat trip. Once we arrived on Falkenau island we started by admiring the river from a different angle. We also noticed that from a certain level, this castle looks like a ship. Since the river’s depth varies due to seasonality, the castle had to be built in such a way that it did not flood when the water rises.

Built between 1326 and 1327, its function was as a toll-collecting station. A chain across the river forced ships to stop and pay the fee. If they did not cooperate, they were kept in the castle’s dungeon until a ransom was received. Although the castle was restored to its glory, to this day one does not find neither electricity nor a lavatory. The area is a World Heritage site.

Neuschwanstein Castle

Possibly the more popular castle not only in Germany but worldwide. What many do not know, is the sad story behind it. Back in the 1800s, the King Ludwig II, started to build this most magnificent and luxurious castle, only he died before it was completely finished. In fact, the king only lived in the castle for 172 years (in his private headquarters, whilst it was still being built), and it was opened for public viewing shortly after he died in the year 1886.

It is my intention to rebuild the old castle ruin of Hohenschwangau near the Pöllat Gorge in the authentic style of the old German knights’ castles, and I must confess to you that I am looking forward very much to living there one day […]; you know the revered guest I would like to accommodate there; the location is one of the most beautiful to be found, holy and unapproachable, a worthy temple for the divine friend who has brought salvation and true blessing to the world…

— Ludwig II, Letter to Richard Wagner, May 1868[14]

 

Most of the photos above are my own (apart from interior photos of Neuschwanstein, Eltz and Hohenzollern for the simple reason that it was not allowed). Kindly seek permission before re-using.

Wedding in Malta: How to get started

Daniel and I are both planners, which I’d say is of an advantage when it comes to organizing our wedding plan. We have heard about so many stories, where couples are stressed beyond compare, fighting every minute they get, that we were a bit paranoid. Truth be told, none of this has happened. Three months into the preparation, we have been very respectful towards each other, and we have managed to compromise on everything so far, be it budget, and choosing our providers.

We believe, that the hardest thing that we had to come up with was our budget. The main reason being that we had absolutely no idea on how much a wedding should cost.  We heard of weddings which costed 10,000 and others which were 30,000 and more! This confused us further, as we were unsure how two weddings which had roughly the same items (sizable venue and guest-list, food, DJ, open bar) could differentiate so much in terms of cost!

wedding to do list

So how did we come up with a budget? In reality, we did not! Wait, what? We decided on what we can afford. We decided on the guests we wanted to invite. I come from a large family, and we had to draw a line somewhere. We made the guest list, and we asked vendors for quotations based on these numbers. Then by priority, we started to add additional costs – listing the must haves and the nice to haves.

This is the must-have list we came up with:

– Gather an approximate Guest list and request quotations for food and drinks
Chapel & Venue – booked on the same day
Food tasting from top 2 or 3 caterers (based on price, reputation and wedding date availability)
Photographer – A beautiful memory to cherish in the years to come
DJ – a wedding reception without music, is not really a celebration. In Malta, DJ is the most common form of entertainment for weddings. Some choose to have a live-band or singer
Cars – Bare necessity is a bridal car and taxi for groom and our respective family
Hair & Makeup – We all want to look at our best for our big day
Rings – The symbol for our marriage
Invitations – Compulsory
Souvenirs – A small thank you gift for our guests
Clothes – Bride, Groom, Bridesmaids, Groomsmen
Bride’s flower bouquet

Nice to have list:

Flowers (for the church)
Church Singer
– Themed Decor (for the venue)
Lighting
– Videographer
– Red Carpet (for the church)

How To Feel Better About Yourself This Year

The beginning of a new year is often a fresh start for many people. For some, it can be a daunting thought that it’s just going to be the same old, but in a different year and that can be depressing for some, especially when you see people on social media appearing to have much better lives than you do. If this is sounding familiar then you more than likely need a confidence boost, and a helping hand to feeling better about yourself. Here are some ways in which you can feel better about yourself this year.

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Eat cleaner

A common reason for someone feeling sluggish and down in the dumps is purely down to the fact that you’re not eating the right foods. Junk food will bring you down in many ways, not just your weight. It will cause you to breakout in spots, have drier skin, and it can even affect your mental state of mind. Try eating cleaner and you will feel much better in yourself quicker than you think. You will notice that you’re less bloated, your skin will clear up, and you will have much more energy than before; therefore having a brighter outlook on life.

Sort out money matters

Another reason that people feel down in the dumps is because money is tight or their is a debt looming over their shoulders. Take on some extra hours at work or get another part time job so that you can build money up and not feel like you’re living paycheck to paycheck. If you’re in debt and are worrying about how to pay off what you owe, it might be worth thinking about borrowing money to consolidate all existing debts into one loan and paying just one thing off every month. Take a look at these small unsecured personal loans and see if there’s anything that can help solve your situation.

Try something new

Trying something new can give you a brighter outlook on life almost instantly. This could range from trying a new place to eat out with your partner, or it could be taking on a new hobby that you haven’t tried before. Hobbies don’t have to cost much (if anything) either, and they can bring a new breath of fresh air into your life and make you feel better. Alternatively, if you’ve got something that’s been on a bucket list of yours, then why not take the opportunity to tick off something on your list?!

Have a clear-out

Having a cluttered home can bring even the strongest of people down. Take some time to clear out your home of unwanted belongings and give it a deep clean. Having a fresh clean home can make you much happier, and if things are more organised you’re likely to keep it clear too.

Finally, if you’re feeling hopeless a lot, don’t hesitate to speak to your GP. Depression is nothing to be ashamed of and you should never suffer alone!

8 things to strengthen one’s relationship

Given the last 13 years of somewhat unsuccessful relationship “experience”, I have tried to gather and combine a list of things or tips, which I think would make or help in having a satisfying and working long term relationship.

  1. Honesty; Possibly the most important thing of all. Always be honest and truthful to each other, on all things in your life, be it as a couple or individual. Honesty helps you feel more comfortable and assured on where you stand in your love affair.
  2. Be respectful – Mutual respect is important in maintaining a healthy relationship. The wishes and feelings of each other are valuable even when you disagree. Be genuine and show interest in your partner’s life and hobbies – such things can only bring you closer as a couple.
  3. Trust – This is the foundation of a happy and fulfilling relationship. It take time to build trust and can be lost in a split of a second if one feels betrayed. Examples of being trustworthy are: being reliable and following up on your promises, share what you feel and always say the truth, be a safe place for your partner, be consistent (not only when it is convenient or things are going well).
  4. Be considerate – Keep each other in the loop, ask for holdinghandssunseteach other’s advise in decision making, especially when this will affect your life together as a couple.
  5. Affection – don’t just say that you love your partner; demonstrate it. Kiss each other good morning, be passionate, hold hands in public, take pictures together – make memories… surprise each other with a romantic date or a gift.
  6. Know your Priorities – Although we all lead busy lives, we should always find time for our partners. If you don’t see this as important, perhaps you should spend some time to think about this and why you are hanging onto a relationship which you don’t feel devoted to. If we all invest as much time on our relationship as we do texting, playing games, on social media and watching TV  or films, we might actually have a meaningful relationship.
  7. Security – Show that your partner can count on you to be there in times of need; be it emotionally or physically.
  8. Be a team  – You are stronger together, as a team. Make plans, ensure you have shared goals and same purposes and views long term. Work together.

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The Art of Travel

I would say, that I am at my best, when I travel.

At those moments when I am traveling, I do not care of what the weather holds, rain or shine, I’m ready to have an early start of the day and get exploring. Of course, I would most likely explore, what I had been planning for days or weeks on end, before the holiday kicked in.

Which brings me to the most fun traveling factor: Being a planner, I usually take the lead on all things which could be planned, such as events to go to, places to visits and how to get there. Before every vacation, I make sure I have a booklet featuring all the above, including maps, expenses involved and opening hours.

Living and traveling overseas, has matured me so much, in the sense that, every time I travel, I go to a place which I have never been before, which would mean, that I need to be mentally ready to “get lost” and also to “ask around for help”. Those who know me well know, that I am most of the time too stubborn to ask for help or advise, as I would rather be on top of things myself. If I figure it out myself, I’m better off. However given the experiences I had in the past, traveling alone or with a friend, sometimes you just have to take the easy way out and ask… especially when you are running out of time or late to a do!

Traveling has not only matured me, but opened my mind to different cultures and people behaviour. I have learned and experienced a lot of history. I have curiously watched people going around towns and cities and in my mind, I would think of what it would be like being in their shoes. It is a little game I like to play, especially when I’m on a train or waiting to catch a bus. Sometimes, I’d be lucky enough to get into a discussion with local people around me, which helps me understand more the surroundings and why people behave in a certain way.

If traveling is a hobby, then I dare say that it is the greatest hobby of all. No other pastime can be compared in my opinion, as what you do while on vacation will be instilled in your mind, body and soul for the rest of your life. It is something you’d think about, and smile about.

I can’t wait to get planning on my next proper vacation… I see Poland and Germany on the horizon… It is a matter, of making a dream come true… Maybe in 2016? 🙂

Dream Job

I have been asked the question of what is my dream job several times. When I was younger, this used to change depending on my moods, or what I was going through. I remember me wanting to be a scientist, and even a hairdresser; until I was told I had to study biology for that. I hated anything that had to do with biology and the dissection of a human or animal. One of my childhood friends had to buy a heart of a cow and cut it in half in one of the lessons. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all up for steaks, but this was to me disgusting.

Then, I wanted to become a teacher because it would mean I get the summer off from work like all the students. Then I started thinking on how bored I would, and how much I despised the summer heat that this didn’t sound like such a good idea either.

Growing up, I decided to get into IT, because, I thought, this would mean, working in peace, and not get distracted constantly by customers and people with questions. A couple years later after my graduation, I can tell you that this was very untrue as stakeholders come and go on a daily basis, and I get bombarded with questions face to face, by email, by chat and what not.

No, my current job is not my dream job.drmjob

But, the more I matured, the more I realised, that IF IT IS SOMETHING I LOVE DOING, AND I’D CALL IT A DREAM… HOW ON EARTH CAN YOU CALL IT A JOB? Isn’t it more like a vacation, a hobby, or a pastime.
This got me thinking further.

Oh, I know!

My dream job would be, traveling from one place to another, photographing, and writing about it… And in turn sharing it with my readers…. Companies would pay me to do this for them, and from my end, I would enjoy one holiday after another for free.
Both of us win right? Adverts, promotion and generating buzz for your country, and traveling experiences for me.
Yes please.

Steffi Advice #1 – Single and Frustrated

Dear Steffi,

I have been single for a number of years and I am starting to wonder why I have been for so long. Most guys that are interested in me are either nerd looking or those who just wanna have sex and get on with life without me. What do you think am I doing wrong?

Frustrated.

—————–

Dear Frustrated,

Although a number of years might seem to be a long time, it spares you the heart ache of dating someone who you do not have enough interest in. Fill up your time with other things, stop waiting for prince charming. Love comes when you least expect it, or so they say. I have been single for almost a year myself, but I have come into terms with it. There’s nothing wrong with being single. Love yourself, enjoy the freedom. There will be time in your life when you are going to regret not taking advantage of this situation. Travel, read, learn a sport or a hobby, have random chats with strangers, focus on yourself.
I’m sure there are good men out there, he will come to you… or you will come to him; at the right moment, at the right time. Maybe you will have to kiss a few frogs before you find the prince, but remember… everyday you are one step closer.
As much as I don’t want you to give up, I want you to make the most out of your current situation.

Much Love XX