Tag Archives: bad

Take the leap

I have probably wrote about this topic about a gazillion times, but hey ho… I am trying to understand myself better… and at the same time I am wondering if it is just me who’s like this, or whether it is something which is more common than I realise.

I am the kind of person, who puts others before her; be it their needs, their happiness… you name it. I try to always be there, to listen, to help, to support, to give others my two cents. To help them on their way to goodness, fulfillment… joy to the world they say!

And in return, I neglect myself. I put myself through shit.. through disappointment, through pain… just in the name of seeing others doing better. No, I don’t regret being there for friends, I love putting a smile on people’s  faces. But what about me?

Yes, what about me?

Okay, I don’t want to sound selfish… but this is definitely not right. I feel stressed, worn out… at times beyond repair.

My guess is, I am the problem.

I need to learn how to let go…. let go of people and things which are bad for me, who don’t deserve half the time and attention I give them. I need to stop people from abusing my generosity. I need to learn to be okay with just being me, and in my own company and shoes.

I should stop hiding behind other people’s problems and dive into fixing what is wrong with my life and myself. I have been here before, I take on more than I can keep up with, just so I don’t have to think about what needs to get done in my life; to stop focusing on what I am scared to face… to stop working on my dreams, just because I am scared to fail… yet again.

I know that, everything I want is on the other side of fear.

So, why can’t I take the leap?

I know what I want, so why do I do this to myself? Why do I punish myself so much?

More on this topic, here.

 

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Forgetfulness

I hold no shame when I say, I am terrible at names, be it regular people I meet randomly, colleagues or celebrities. I sure take my sweet time to remember names, and sometimes I forget again when I lose contact or I stop watching a TV series (in case of celebrities!). I have never been one who learns by heart, but instead i learn logically or things which in my head make sense. It kind of explains that the only 3 phone numbers I know are my mum’s, dad’s and mine. All of which I have learned more than a decade ago. I can’t even for the life of me remember my landline number. Funny I know!

forgetfulness

I think it is rather ironic that I struggle with this, yet there are events in my life and sometimes people too, who I would much rather forget about… And why is it so easy to remember song lyrics (especially when they are so damn silly!). I swear, it has to do with the rhythm of the music…Maybe such things are taking too much of my “brain space” – space which I can use for more fruitful and useful things.

Are you with me on this one?

Compliments

I am not a person who accepts compliments easily and for various reasons
– Lack of self confidence
– People are more often than not, not genuine, and compliment you out of sarcasm, or simply to compliment them back
– Just awkward, especially when it is a random unknown person

Lets take an example of what has happened today. I got home right after work, 15 minutes before the shops close, I realised I forgot to buy something I needed for the day so I dressed up in the first thing I found nearby and went out. In the next 10 minutes, I was “complimented” by 3 strangers; two regarding my hair, and another regarding my general appearance.
In my eyes (or in my head, because I didn’t look in the mirror!), these adjectives sounded like they were untrustworthy, and were simply said in attempt to get my attention.

When I am feeling upset, or perhaps I am having a bad day, these words give me a bit of a boost… but on average I pretend that I have not heard a thing and keep walking. Well, even if I were to accept such words, should I just keep muttering thank you to  each and every non-creepy looks legit enough person?

 

Look at the bright side….

Related to the post I submitted earlier, I think that in life, we should be thankful for what we have, and rather than complain about what we don’t have, we should make a plan into getting there. Be it financial, materialistic, emotional, there is nothing out of reach… if you want it hard enough!

It is also high time, that we learn to appreciate what we have, rather than focus just on what is lacking in our life. We all have some good things going on, but we are too busy to notice.

And maybe, just maybe, if we respect one another, if we are there for one another, we can all get there quicker. We all need support, someone who understands us, someone who makes our problems go away or feel minuscule.

– Love like you have never loved beforeidea.png
– Trust as if your life depends on it
– Support and listen to one another because you could make all the difference
– Understand someone’s behaviour and insecurities
– Don’t judge people, even if you have been in their shoes
– Show your feelings, be upfront with anyone and everyone

Stop being so goddamn selfish, admit your mistakes, learn from them and move on! The world need more happiness and less carelessness 🙂

LYRICS:

Restless nights and its atrocities

What I refer to dreams in this article are the ones you actually get while you are asleep, not the other kind which I aspire to reach in the coming days, months or years.

I am not one who dreams a lot, or maybe I do… but I don’t remember them… not even briefly; Except when I have a nightmare.

In real life, we tend to remember or focus more on the bad stuff rather than what is going well and what makes us happy. It tends to be easier to remember how someone has hurt us, rather than the many times they managed to put a smile on our face.

And it seems like when it comes to dreams, my brain tends to highlight the bad stuff too. Not only that, but I manage to wake up at ungodly hours, become annoyed about what made me have such a nightmare, and as soon as I fall asleep with the hopes that the dream ends there, it ironically continues right were it paused earlier. The HORROR!

Because having a restless night is not enough, I end up in a bad mood and wonder why I dreamt this. Although I do not believe that dreams mean something in particular, sometimes I wonder if my nightmares are trying to indicate something wrong with my life.

 

 

Be the SuperHero of your own story

Lets face it, life isn’t fair. People don’t get what they deserve.
Life is all about luck, being somewhere at the right time. Meeting someone at the right time. Coming up with a brilliant idea at the right time, and sharing it with the right people.

How many times, did you think that this time, things will go according to plan? That your idea will fall on the right ears, and that today it will be the day, when you  can accomplish something? How many times did you start a day badly, and it ends up as the most amazing of days? It’s all about coincidence, and putting yourself out there… It’s all about relying on yourself and not expecting others to be there for you and to do the right thing. Don’t let others dictate your happiness.

You have to be the superhero of your own story; If you want something, work hard for it and earn it. superheroNothing is going to come to you on a silver platter by just waiting for it, or asking someone for charity. Pity will get you nowhere in the long run. You have to man up, take the bull by the horns and do what is required to achieve your dreams! You need to make up your mind…. know what you want… fight for it… do it… GET IT.

It is only up to you, to write your own story.

15 statements Single People are fed up of hearing

This blog post is targeted to single people or perhaps people who were single for some months in the past.

How many of you have been bothered to no end with friends and family constantly asking you all these dead-end questions, and giving you useless tips?

  1. Are you still single?
    As if, there is something wrong about being single…. Why the unneeded pressure?
  2. Are you seeing someone?
    Don’t you think I would have told you if I’m seeing someone special?
  3.  I wish Tinder existed when I was single…. So many opportunities to have fun and ‘mingle around’
    What are you doing in your relationship, if you are not enjoying it?
  4.  There’s many fish in the water
    Yes, exactly. That’s why I am single… because there are so many great options out there.
  5. It will all happen when you least expect it
    *whistles casually* Will it happen now? How about… now?
  6. I have heard of a good dating site that you should try out…
    Why would you know about it? Are you considering leaving your partner?
  7. I know this great guy (or girl)… Shall I set you up?
    If he is so great, what is wrong with him?
  8.  I miss being single.
    Really? GO HOME.
  9. Maybe technology is your greatest enemy… stop looking…
    How am I supposed to use that dating site that you just suggested?
  10. You are not putting yourself out there enough
    Yes, let me make my own tshirt ‘Single and Looking’ and write my phone number on public bathroom doors
  11. Maybe you are too picky. (Stop looking for a long hair dude who’s a geek.)
    Yes, let me just pick a random guy off the street which I have nothing in common with and ask him out
  12. You are so unlucky, I’d dated you if I was single. You are so amazing.
    Oh wow, thanks for letting me know now…
  13. Maybe you attract the wrong people
    I thought you just said I’m amazing?
  14. You have all the time in the world. You are so young; the world is your oyster.
    Yes, I will be young forever… and maybe forever alone too while I’m at it.
  15. All the good guys (or girls) are taken
    Thank you for all your support. That makes me feel all better.

Appreciate the good things in life

Sometimes, when I am struggling with life or I’m just having a hard time, I try to write down what I’m going through. Other times, I try to focus my thoughts on the good things I have in life.

I will share this with you, in the hopes that you will realise that there’s more to life than bad things… Sure, we spend most of our life thinking about what went wrong, or how bad we have it… and what about that damn bad luck or bad timing? But if you fight it, good things can be achieved like…

  • Having a good relationship with your family
  • Having friends that you can count on day in, day out (I don’t have many, but that’s ok! Quality over quantity)
  • Appreciating the little thing
  • Having a job
  • Being able to afford a roof over your head and a daily meal on the table
  • Being able to pay the bills at the end of the month
  • Being your own person, even if this make others cringe… Embrace yourself!
  • Being a decent cook
  • Owning two naughty but loving cats
  • The ability to drive a car and go places (unless the roads are flooding because of heavy rain!)
  • Affording to go on holiday every once in a while
  • Making random people or strangers happy with a simple act of kindness
  • Owning your own little house
  • Being creative in my own way…. through photography
  • Being able to listen to live music and talk with people over a few drinks (Sounds simple, but some of us don’t have the privilege)
  • Volunteering in a charity shop
  • Having that one person (or more!) in your life, that will always make you smile… no matter what you are going through

Surely this is not all…. I’m only getting started 😉

Embarrassing Tattoos Part 2

I know people are, and can be stupid, but sometimes they sink to the lowest low. One of the things I like doing when I need a laugh is to look at embarrassing tattoos people put on themselves permanently. If I were to have one of these, and I am blind, I would still be horrified to sport it in public.

– If you have weird hair, growing in weird places; I’d suggest you shave it or wax it…. Not tattoo a troll!!

tat4

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– Perhaps a better idea than tattooing eyes on your eyelids would be to sleep at night 😉

tat6

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– Why you would want the word ‘LOL’ tattooed permanently on your body is beyond me…. But creating the nazi symbol with rotating ‘L’ is even worse!

tat3

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– I wonder how much Nike paid him for such a massive advert which he carries with him everywhere he goes…

tat1

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– Does a double negative make a positive? So what you’re saying is… Give up.. right?

tat5

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– YOLO – You only Live once… What better way to express how you feel about life than with dicks? 🙂

ata2

Until next time guys 😉

The Struggle to Sleep

Last night I went to Sliema and I had two things planned, all done within 6 hours. I won’t bore you with this, however I made it home at around midnight, which to me is quite a late night for a Sunday. More so, since I wake up around 6am during the week.

I was beyond exhausted, stomach full and happy. I was not worried, and I had no particular thought on my mind; except a smile. It felt good to have a great Sunday. When I switched off the light, turned on the fan and went into bed, I tried to sleep… Despite being tired and eyes were red and hurting, for some reason I couldn’t get to sleep.

I was turning around in the bed, accidently falling asleep… Then I am back up… and the saga repeats itself. 5 or so hours later, I was still pretty much wide awake.  I might have slept a maximum of 2 hours last night.

My question here is, why does this happen? I had no reason not to be able to fall asleep!

Any tips or tricks? I had tea right before I went to sleep, I was not stressed but actually happy, exhausted beyond belief and ready for a new week!