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Steffi Says

We All Have Our Problems – Common Relationship Troubles Many Couples Have To Face

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There is no such thing as the perfect couple. Whether we want to admit it or not, we all have our problems. It doesn’t matter how much you and your partner love one another; At some point, you are going to face a trouble or two, many of which have the power to cause major damage to your relationship. Perhaps a sister-in-law throws you daggers at every family function, or a promotion keeps you at work more than you’d like. Whatever the issue, it’s how you deal with it that’s important. With that in mind, here are ten common relationship troubles and how to handle them.

Problems With Loved Ones

No one chooses their family, but that fact doesn’t make your life any easier when you come to realize that your partner’s don’t particularly like you. However, instead of focusing on the negatives of the situation, you should try to look for the positives. For example, without these people, you wouldn’t have your partner at all. That being said, if a parent, sibling, or cousin does insist on being rude for no reason, you may want to bring it up with your partner at some point.

Not Enough Time Together

Couples tend to spend a lot of time together, especially when they live with one another. Because of this, when a couple starts to see each other less and less, it can create an upsetting and frustrating situation. To remedy this issue, you should plan time together in advance, and do everything you can to ensure that nothing interrupts your plans. If you’re both very busy, this can be a challenge, but it’s very rarely impossible. You can also text and call each other every day.

Too Much Time Together

That being said, some time apart from one another isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it can be incredibly valuable to a healthy relationship. It’s easy to feel suffocated when you’re with your significant other every minute of the day, so be sure you both plan things to do on your own. This could be to practice a hobby, visit your friends, head to the gym, or anything else you want to do without your partner. Be sure not to contact each other too much during this time, or there isn’t any point.

A Lack Of Trust

The reason some couples spend all of their time together is because of a lack of trust. For one reason or another, they don’t want their partners going off on their own, and so aim to be with them at all times. However, trust is an essential part of any relationship, which means that, if you don’t have any, it will cause problems. To build this trust up, you should both make an effort to be honest and consistent. You should also consider combatting your reasons for this lack of faith.

Insecurities About The Future

No one gets into a relationship planning for it to end. However, when you and your partner are going down different paths, this becomes more and more likely, causing serious insecurity. This is why you should speak to one another and try to find a compromise. For example, if you want children, but your partner has already had a vasectomy, they may be willing to adopt or have a reversal vasectomy to make this possible. There’s no use in worrying until you’ve talked about it.

Frequent Conflicts Concerning Money

Money is a major cause of trouble for most relationships, especially when you and your partner have wildly different spending habits. If you like to save and prepare for the future, but they blow their paycheque the first week of every month, it’s going to cause conflict now and then. Instead of shouting and screaming about it, you should sit down, talk it out, and find a middle ground you’re both happy with. Also, work together to solve money worries, rather than placing blame.

Vices Are An Issue

When you live your life mostly sober, but have a partner that smokes, drinks, or takes drugs regularly, it can make you feel uncomfortable, resulting in a distance and tension between the two of you. Telling your partner to quit is the simple solution to this issue, but they shouldn’t have to change themselves for you, even if their habit is harming their health. They need to want to change for themselves. However, you can ask that they keep their vices away from you.

Putting The Relationship Last

Being in a relationship for a long time can cause couples to take one another for granted. Instead of putting your partner first, like you would have done not so long ago, you start to cancel dates, leave messages unreplied to, and ignore simple requests. This may not seem like that big of a deal to you, but it will to your significant other. While there will be times when something else is genuinely more important, for the most part, you should put your relationship above all else.

Daily Wars About Chores

Some of the biggest arguments in relationships are all because of chores. Of course, when it seems as if you’re doing all of the housework alone, it’s easy to become frustrated, but, instead of blowing up, you should stay cool and have a calm conversation. List every chore in the house that needs to be done and decide between you who wants to do what. If there’s a task neither of you wants, then consider taking it in turns or hiring a professional to do it for you.

The Fun Is Gone

Boredom is a common issue for couples, especially for those that have been with each other for years. However, instead of resigning to a stale life, you should bring up the problem with your significant other. Chances are, they feel the exact same way that you do. If this is true, you should see if you can find any ways to spice things up again. A lot of couples find that going on a date or two is enough to bring back the feelings of the “honeymoon period” of their relationship.

Every relationship has troubles it needs to face. With the advice above, you should be able to deal with a few of the most common ones and get things back on track with your partner.   

My articles / researches, My Life, Steffi Says

Happy 2019, everyone!

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As another year is coming towards the end, I wanted to express how thankful I am.

A year in which I have learned what’s important, and who’s important. A year in which I struggled, and I conquered. A year where I doubted myself, but I managed to rise again. A year which thought me to love unconditionally. To do right thing. To let go of those who brought negativity into my life. To let go of those who made me feel miserable. I have learned to focus on what I have, instead of what I don’t. 

Instead of recapping this whole year, I will write about the future. There’s so much to look forward to in the coming year.

2019 is the year we have been working towards. The year we have been waiting eagerly for. 2019 is our year! It has a lot of firsts, and a lot of milestones for us. In 2019 I will…

  •  ♡ Get married to my soulmate! ♡
  •  I will travel together with my husband-to-be for the first time outside of Europe!
  •  We will together own our dream-house!

And guess what? The best is yet to come!

Happy 2019, everyone!

Crazy Outbursts, Lessons Learned, My articles / researches, My Life, Steffi Says

Embracing Change

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Today, I feel inspired.

Today, while at work, I have attended a focus group regarding change and how to deal with it. This was informative to say the least. In fact, it made me realise how important it is to be positive in life – how to be determined, and to work hard for what you believe in.

In the last few months, a lot has changed in my life:

  1. In summer, I was made redundant. It was a real struggle for me. I have never been in this position before, and I certainly did not see it coming. I was in shock for a number of days, and I could not believe my luck – This could not come at a worse time, with the wedding coming up. After a bit, I had to face the music and started by overhauling my CV. I made sure I got a few good recommendations from some ex-colleagues, and started looking for a job. A month later, I got a job offer which I accepted and here I am.
  2. A new job and a new role later, this means more change and adaptation! Here I was, learning the ropes again. Luckily, I do love change so I took this challenge head on. Four months later, I feel like things are good again and I am settling in nicely.
  3. Friends. Well, that was another bump in the road – However, I decided that after all I have been through this summer, all those who did not care should be of no concern of mine. I made a decision to let go of what was worrying me – There was no longer a point investing my energy in them. Upwards and onward, they say.
  4. In the recent months, it was decided that myself and Daniel should look for a house to make it our own. This means that I will be selling my house. While this is something I want, it also requires myself (and Daniel) to uproot from the places we now call home. I am excited that we get to do this, but again it will not be an easy task – rewarding none the less.

In conclusion, change should be embraced with an open heart. While it might not feel positive in the beginning, things will get better – but only if you let them.

Crazy Outbursts, Lessons Learned, My articles / researches, Steffi Says

Bad Relationships: How And Why You Should Get Out Of Them

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Far too many people stay in bad relationships that end up affecting their mental health and ruining their chances in life. If you’re in one of those relationships at the moment; it is essential that you do something about it as soon as possible. Lots of women feel like they’re stuck, and so the information on this page should come in handy. The article explains why you need to get out of the relationship, and it also offers some advice on the methods and strategies you might like to consider. With that in mind, let’s get started!

Why you need to get out of your bad relationship

Confidence

People in adverse or negative relationships will always suffer a lack of confidence that can affect their lives in many different ways. You might never apply for that dream job, and you might never fulfill your ambitions of launching a company or volunteering and traveling the world.

Happiness

As mentioned a moment ago, bad relationships can affect your mental health and leave you feeling depressed or anxious. Unless you want to visit a therapist every week and take medication for the rest of your life; it is imperative that you remove yourself from the situation as soon as possible.

Opportunities

Being in a bad relationship can mean you never take up the opportunities available because you worry about their effect on your partner. That can mean you miss out on a lot of things that could change your life for the better.

How you should get out of your bad relationship

Stay with friends

You might feel like there is no hope and nowhere to go. However, most of us have understanding friends who will help out when we need them most. So, maybe you could go and stay with someone you know for a few weeks to get your head straight?

Accept a new job

Getting yourself out of your routine and putting yourself in a position to meet lots of new people is always a sensible move. Maybe you could accept a new job in a different city or something similar? Use that as an excuse to end the relationship and start over.

Get a divorce

If you made the mistake of marrying the wrong person; things could become a little more complicated. However, you just need to speak to a divorce lawyer and ask for their assistance. With a bit of luck, you can start the ball rolling in a matter of days, and you are sure to feel better straight away.

Now you know how and why you need to get out of your bad relationship; you should feel a little more confident in creating your plan of action. It could be good if you could sit down with the person, explain your problems, and iron them out. However, that isn’t always possible, and so sometimes you have to put yourself first. Whatever happens, ensure you make improvements in your life and avoid getting into relationships with the wrong people in the future.  

Advice, My articles / researches, Steffi Says

Are You Currently Engaged In Buying Your Engagement Ring?

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Online shopping has been a game changer for the fashion industry. While many of us started skeptical, sizing charts and easy returns have converted even the doubters. And, there’s no denying it; getting clothes right to your door is bloody marvelous. As if that weren’t enough, we’re also now able to find any outfit our heart desires. Forget limited stock and terrible style; buying online means we can wear what we want when we want.

Despite these benefits, though, there are items many won’t make allowances for. Shoes are a big one. Many a customer wouldn’t dream of buying these without trying. Rings are also a point of contention. So much so that the idea of buying something as important as an engagement ring online could make you weak at the knees. Sorry to say, that’s precisely what we’re be looking at here.

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Of course, we don’t all get to choose our engagement rings. Sometimes, our partners buy them as a surprise. But, more couples are now going down the practical route of acquiring a ring after the event. All the better for things like sizing and personal taste. And, you guessed it; it’s now possible to do even this online.

But, we know what you’re thinking. Surely this is a terrible idea? Not necessarily. There is undeniable room for error here. But, this could be the way to the right ring for you. And, all you need to do to avoid disaster is follow these three-pointers.

Know your ring size

As mentioned above, ring size is the reason many couples hold fire on buying. And, when you’re buying online, the risks only increase because you can’t try things on. You’ll also have to deal with longer readjustment wait times thanks to all that posting. In truth, though, this isn’t difficult to get right. All you need to do is head to sites like www.realsimple.com and size your ring before clicking buy. Take time here, and you’re in for better success rates than you may have in a physical store.

Choose the right retailer

The online retailer you choose also determines success. A site with few guidelines or customization options is sure to spell trouble. As can be seen from reviews like this one at https://diamondexpert.com/james-allen-review/, companies like James Allen are your best option thanks to their flexible selections. For the most part, you want to take time finding a company which takes your needs into account. That way, there’s little chance of the ring not being the way you want it.

Order in plenty of time

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Even with the right retailer and sizing, there’s a slim chance you’ll need to send your ring back. And, by the time you’ve received, resent, and then received it again, time could be getting on. If you have an engagement party or some other deadline, then make sure to order well in advance. This ensures that any returns don’t spell trouble. It’ll also save you freaking out when the post-person arrives empty-handed again!

 

Advice, My articles / researches, Steffi Says

The Relationship Masks Are Slipping, But What Can You Do If You Don’t Like What’s Underneath?

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The early days of a relationship are always a show of sorts. We put on our best faces for dates and try to paint ourselves in the brightest light possible. If we really like someone, we may even change our views to please them or tell white lies about our true natures.

But, when the relationship gets underway, that mask has to slip. In many ways, this is a good thing. When you let down that guard, true love can come in. Sure, the promise of your ‘perfect man’ might have caught your attention in the first place. But, you may not know he’s ‘the one’ until you seem him at a weak moment.

That said, this slipping of masks is often a painful process, and can be fraught with unpleasant surprises. It may be that there’s a habit or quirk to your partner’s personality which you really don’t like. When you think about it, it makes sense that they would hide this. Who goes on a date and grandstands their worst personality traits? Over time, you may come to realize that your seemingly gentle boyfriend has a nasty temper. Or, perhaps that attentive man spends more time on his phone than you first thought. The issue which makes itself known may be even severe, like a gambling addiction, or something like depression.

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Sadly, this period is where many relationships end. And, believe it or not, that’s rarely due to the realisation that Mr Perfect is only human. In fact, most of the time, our attempts to change our partners put the nail in the romance coffin. You know how it is; you look past his temper because you think you can cure him of it. You assume that, because he’s with you now, his depression should evaporate.

But, here’s a horrible truth; love isn’t an instant fix. While it is a crucial part of life, it can’t just clear the way of problems. What’s more, approaching a relationship with thoughts of changing a person is the worst thing you can do. It suggests that you love your idea of them, not who they are. And, we all know that love is about accepting someone for their true selves. In fact, the only real time change would be the best route open to you is if this bad personality trait puts your partner at risk. Otherwise, you should attempt to help your partner when you notice these issues. It isn’t easy, but it may be the only way to keep your relationship healthy. And, we’re going to look at a few of the ways you can achieve it.

Recognize their triggers

For the most part, traits like these come with triggers. It’s likely certain things set off that raging temper, for instance. Equally, there may be certain situations which drive a gambler to hit the casino. As their partner, it’s your responsibility to notice. Do this without comment or judgement. Observe and accept the situation. Then, do what you can to help them avoid situations like these where possible. If you see your raging man getting mad, grab his hands and do a quick dance around the room, or something equally fun. This will distract his attention, as well as reinforcing your relationship. You may also notice that he’s more liable to gamble when worried about money. If you’re at the stage where you’re living together, do what you can to keep finances in check, or discuss ways to make more money. Again, this will help with communication, as well as distraction. It may be best, though, not to outwardly tell him about the triggers you’ve noticed. Making him aware of your observations could turn to a trigger in itself. He’ll also then be able to tell when you’re distracting attention, and that could drive him further towards the places you don’t want him to go.

Point him down a better path

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This step is tricky. Get it wrong, and you could slip into the territory of trying to change your partner. But, if you take your time here, you may find that you can point him down a better path. The trick here is not to speak in definites. Merely make suggestions which you think would improve a situation. Do this subtly, so that your man doesn’t feel you’re preaching to him. It could be that leave a program on television discussing ways to deal with anger. Or, you may want to look at sites like Casino Guru which could at least recommend reliable casinos if he is going to gamble. If mental illness is the issue, talk to him about his treatment options. Through discussions, he may find he settles on a new approach which could work well. And, you can achieve all this without ever directly attempting to change the way your lover behaves. Instead, he’ll come to associate you as a reassuring presence who helps him make his own decisions.

Focus on the future

Focusing on the future is always a good idea in a relationship. If things start to stagnate, it can lead to frustration and disillusionment. But, it becomes even more critical in cases like these. If, for instance, your partner is depressed, a focus on your plans as a couple could be a considerable incentive for recovery. If it’s a mutual decision, a determination to have kids in the future could be all it takes to encourage your partner to get help. Equally, this could encourage them to face up to addictions, be they gambling or anything else. The knowledge of future parenthood could even help with anger management problems. After all, no one wants to be that parent who shouts all the time. Bear in mind that it’s essential you let your partner lead conversations like these. If they aren’t ready to discuss this kind of thing, pressure could push them further into a negative place. But, if you’re both in the same headspace here, the future could be the best tonic.

Etna, Experiences Abroad, Sicily, Steffi Says

Our Etna Experience

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Each holiday has at least one big highlight, and while we were in Sicily, one of the highlights was visiting Etna. I admit, it was long overdue – in fact, visiting Sicily was long overdue! I bet not many Maltese people can say that they have not been to Sicily by the age of thirty. The thing is, that I am fascinated with the UK, and I mostly ignored all other countries for a big chunk of my life. It was in 2016 that I started exploring properly and I have not looked back ever since.

We left Etna for our very last day, it being so close to Catania airport. We arrived at around 9:30AM after a two hours drive from where we were staying. The Etna car park, by the cable cars was almost full. It happened to be May the 1st, which is a bank holiday in most countries, so there were a lot of tourists there.

Steffi enjoying Etna, Sicily!

We bought our tickets and made our way to the queue for the cable cars. Once we were at a reasonable height, we queued again for 4×4-style buses. Most of the tourists were laughing hard while we made our way on what we could only describe as a bumpy ride!  It took us to almost to the top of the volcano in no time. It was rather astonishing seeing people walking all the way up from ground level, seeing that Etna is 3,500 meters high up. I bet it takes most of the day going up and then down. We thought it was money well spent as this way we could enjoy walking around and inside the craters for a longer time.

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As you set foot out of the bus, you realise that the temperature changed drastically. From almost 20 degrees to around 2 degrees! Once you get accustomed to the change of weather, you start to embrace the surroundings. The view is breathtaking, the colour of the gravel varies from black to red to yellow. I have never seen so many colours on such a huge stretch of mountain-like land. It was simply amazing being there. No words were enough to describe what we saw, what we felt being so high up, on such a clear day. You could see steam coming out, touching the floor underneath your feet feels warm. You could tell you are walking on top of an active volcano. A bit scary and risky, but it’s an experience I will never forget.

We spent roughly two hours walking and exploring, and around three hours in total including the transport. The souvenir shop comes highly recommended. While we were there we tried several liquors and the famous mandorla wine. We ended up buying some, as well as lava made statues and decor, adding onto the issue we already had since we traveled with just a hand-luggage for a five day long holiday! On the way down to the car-park, there is a restaurant which in our opinion had the best arancini in Sicily. Do give them a try if you feel peckish!

My articles / researches, Steffi Says

How To Spot A Fake Online Dating Profile

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There is no denying the popularity of online dating in the current day and age. In an era when we all seem to be time poor and technology oriented, the Internet provides us with the perfect platform to find Mr. Right. However, the only issue is that there are going to be a lot of Mr. Wrongs out there that you need to weed through first. With that being said, read on to discover how to spot a fake online dating profile so you don’t end up being cat-fished!

    • Lack of detail / discrepancies in their profile story
       When you are genuinely looking to find love, it is important to make your profile detailed so that you attract people that have the same sort of interests as you. You can find some tips on writing an online dating profile here: https://www.zoosk.com/date-mix/online-dating-advice/online-dating-profile-tips/online-dating-profile-examples-for-women/. If a profile is lacking any detail, it does not necessarily mean it is fake, but this is a common trait of fake profiles. After all, they do not want to give anything away. They will try to mould themselves into the person they believe you want once they start talking to you. Another sign that a profile is fake is if their story doesn’t add up. Is their profile contradicting what they tell you in their messages?
    • Stock profile photos
      This is one of the key signs that the profile you are looking at is not going to be the love of your life. If their profile appears like a stock photo, then the chances are it probably is. If you do a little bit of digging online, you will probably be able to find the photograph with ease. Moreover, if the profile only contains one photo rather than several, this is another indicator that it could be fake.
    • Let other people spot fake profiles for you
      Last but not least, the best way to make sure you do not fall victim to a fake online dating profile is to use a professional matchmaking service rather than a free online dating website. You can find more information about this by visiting https://macbeth-matchmaking.com/dating/matchmaking-and-dating-services/ . With matchmaking services, every person that joins the agency will be vetted to ensure that they are genuine. You will then be matched to a person based on your likes and interests, as well as what you are looking for from a relationship. This dramatically increases the chances of you finding the perfect man for you.

So there you have it – some useful tips on how to spot a fake online dating profile! If you have noticed any of the signs that have been discussed in this blog post, stay away from the dating profile in question. The last thing you want to do is think you’re meeting up with David Beckham only to discover the man of your dreams is more like David Brent!