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Crazy Outbursts, Lessons Learned, My articles / researches, Steffi Says

Bad Relationships: How And Why You Should Get Out Of Them

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Far too many people stay in bad relationships that end up affecting their mental health and ruining their chances in life. If you’re in one of those relationships at the moment; it is essential that you do something about it as soon as possible. Lots of women feel like they’re stuck, and so the information on this page should come in handy. The article explains why you need to get out of the relationship, and it also offers some advice on the methods and strategies you might like to consider. With that in mind, let’s get started!

Why you need to get out of your bad relationship

Confidence

People in adverse or negative relationships will always suffer a lack of confidence that can affect their lives in many different ways. You might never apply for that dream job, and you might never fulfill your ambitions of launching a company or volunteering and traveling the world.

Happiness

As mentioned a moment ago, bad relationships can affect your mental health and leave you feeling depressed or anxious. Unless you want to visit a therapist every week and take medication for the rest of your life; it is imperative that you remove yourself from the situation as soon as possible.

Opportunities

Being in a bad relationship can mean you never take up the opportunities available because you worry about their effect on your partner. That can mean you miss out on a lot of things that could change your life for the better.

How you should get out of your bad relationship

Stay with friends

You might feel like there is no hope and nowhere to go. However, most of us have understanding friends who will help out when we need them most. So, maybe you could go and stay with someone you know for a few weeks to get your head straight?

Accept a new job

Getting yourself out of your routine and putting yourself in a position to meet lots of new people is always a sensible move. Maybe you could accept a new job in a different city or something similar? Use that as an excuse to end the relationship and start over.

Get a divorce

If you made the mistake of marrying the wrong person; things could become a little more complicated. However, you just need to speak to a divorce lawyer and ask for their assistance. With a bit of luck, you can start the ball rolling in a matter of days, and you are sure to feel better straight away.

Now you know how and why you need to get out of your bad relationship; you should feel a little more confident in creating your plan of action. It could be good if you could sit down with the person, explain your problems, and iron them out. However, that isn’t always possible, and so sometimes you have to put yourself first. Whatever happens, ensure you make improvements in your life and avoid getting into relationships with the wrong people in the future.  

My articles / researches, Steffi Says

Friendzone Galore

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So, we have all heard about the infamous friendzone…

Women are rather experts in this, and men are up there all the time. I suppose it is the worst place to be for most men, and women are at ease because they have yet another platonic friend to talk to and spend time with.

In reality, even if men do not admit this, it is a struggle for them to be just friends with someone who they find attractive. Research most often than not says that men cannot be friends with someone they fancy. I guess my male readers can give their HONEST opinion about this. 🙂

I am the kind of girl, that when I meet a man, I figure out my intentions quickly. Whether the feeling is reciprocated or not; that is another thing… but to this date, I have never dated any of my best or closest male friends which in my eyes are my brothers. Having said that, I know a few rare occasions where a girlfriend of mine has fallen for her best friend.

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Tips on avoiding the friendzone:

  1. Always make your intentions clear
    Okay, I do not mean that when you mean someone you like, you just tell them “I want you to be my girlfriend”; but… if you like someone, although you do your best to get to know them, you would also flirt to test the waters. If the girl flirts back, then this is an indication that she likes you, there’s potentially an opportunity for you to be more than just friends.  Do not become her doormat, we do not feel sexually attracted to these kind of men. Make the girl blush, compliment her!
  2. Ask her out ASAP!
    As much as it makes sense for you to get to know your potential date and partner, do not wait weeks, or worse months to do something about it. Some girls do not like playing games, especially those who are mature and are interested in serious relationships. They’d give you some time, but the chances are that other opportunities arise, and in that case if another guy asks before you, she will say yes and forget all about you.
  3. Don’t talk to her when she is with her friends
    If she invites you to spend time with her and her friends, it is most likely not because she wants to introduce you to her group of friends as her someone special, but because you are friendzoned. Avoid these occasions until after you start dating. Spending alone time with her, gives you more opportunities to show your interest and intentions. If she avoids being alone with you like the plague, this means that she knows what you are trying to do, and she is trying to spur your the embarrassment.
  4. Don’t let her vent and complain with you about other guys
    This is probably the most obvious indication that the woman in your life is going to friendzone you. It is not your job to listen to her problems with men; she has her girlfriends for this. This is in no way intimacy, and remember – we do not live in a fairy-tale world where a girl will suddenly realise she has been dating assholes and that her one love is you.
  5. Don’t be afraid of rejection
    The idea of being rejected is terrifying for both genders. It is most likely that a friendship cannot be leveraged into romance. You are better off being rejected while you are getting to know each other, rather than after you spent so much time together. A rejection at the very beginning could be turned into friendship, but a rejection once your are friendzoned is very awkward, and the probability is that you stop talking to each other altogether. On top of that, think about all that time and effort and possibly money wasted on someone who is not interested in you.
Crazy Outbursts, Steffi Says

Men men men men, manly men men men! ♫

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I have a very particular taste when it comes to men.

Surely and truly, I like them taller than me, with long hair and a beard (Disclaimer: I liked beards way before they came into fashion!). Ideally creative, with a romantic side and lots of wanderlust. Someone who knows what he wants, and he is not afraid to fight for it. But what really attracts me is intelligence, especially when it comes with an accent. Although not a necessity, a great accent makes me all tingly inside. I know it sounds silly, but to each their own right?

I guess it all goes hand in hand with the fact that my choice in men tends to be from foreign lands, be it expats or from afar.

I suppose, from previous experiences, I know it ain’t easy. Maintaining a relationship with so much distance in between is a challenge not everyone can keep up with or appreciate. However, getting to see each other after a month or two is so lovely and exciting, that it makes you forget all those days you spent apart.

As long as you know that there is a future;
A future which will involve seeing each other the last thing before we sleep, and the first thing when we wake up.

If you catch my drift…

 

Crazy Outbursts, Funnies, Steffi Says

Relationship Status: Single

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– This is merely an observation, as per my experiences using social media. –

I have realised, that as soon as my Facebook relationship status turns to single, something magical happens. It is like a world wide silent notification is passed through every single men’s head (sometimes even to those not so single!); not just the males I know, but even random ones who I have no friends in common with.

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What is it with men, talking to you just when you  you are single? Let me rephrase that.

What is it with men, talking to you when they think you are single?

It is almost like Facebook is the source of all that is truthful; the HOLY GRAIL!

Is it true, that men and women can’t be friends? That, the only reason they talk to another is because one of them is chasing the other? That, it is never the case that they are both just genuinely friends, with no strings attached?

If your answer to the above is nope, then why do most men leave you be and not talk to you any longer when they find out you are not eligible, have no interest or are not emotionally available?

 

Reviews, Series, Steffi Says

Why you should watch Stranger Things

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It has  been quite some time since I have made a TV Series recommendation but  in the past days I have come across two which are worth your time and consideration. Today, I shall talk about the much hyped new Netflix series “Stranger Things“.

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It has been in my to-do or, to-watch list since it was released, but I knew, that since it was just an 8-episode run, I had to watch them in one sitting. This means, it was ideal for an afternoon during the weekend, which is what I did on Saturday afternoon.

With the fact that Netflix have already announced a season 2, this sounded promising; now more than ever.

Before I give you a brief about this astounding, fast paced AND exiting series, here goes the official trailer:

 

Back to the point now, here’s some fun facts to help you get started on this series:

  • Winona Ryder is the main actress in this TV Series
  • The story-line is based in the 80s, so expect that some great music throughout – I was singing along!
  • The story is about a young boy’s disappearance in a very small town
  • The series is spooky, adventurous and very pop-culture in its own way
  • Supernatural vibe,which is THANKFULLY not over done
  • Have I mentioned creepy monsters yet?
  • Don’t worry about the fact that the cast is mostly children and teenagers – they have been very well selected.
  • The season finale gives us some answers yet leaves us in awe of what is coming

Questions:

  • Eleven. What happened to the ten before?
  • Will, will he be okay?
  • Is Chief Hopper legit?

May I just say that the hype on this series was for once very well deserved?

 

My articles / researches, My Life, People worth Remembering, Steffi Says

Inspirational BlogPost: Meet Otu, a guy of many talents

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Sometimes, there is no better way in getting inspiration than watching a couple of YouTube videos to help you feel better, man up and keep moving forward in life.

Today, I will share with you the person who made me smile yesterday, and who has made me realise that I should keep persisting in getting what I want, and make my dreams come true.

Meet Otu, a guy of many talents
Credit: Youtube/ Otu Channel

The name is Olli Suurmunne from Finland. He owns his own YouTube channel by the name ‘Otu Channel’. This guy has a disability; He was born with a deformed left hand.. yet he is able to do more than an average person does or achieves in a lifetime.

Why?

Because he never saw his defected hand as an obstacle. He works hard, and he has positive results.

He can play the keyboard, guitar, he sings, solves the rubic’s cube in under a minute… he makes amazing digital artwork… He designs, composes and makes games.

Without further ado, this video is what made my heart pounding, what inspired me:

And this is a fun video of the guy singing and impersonating various well known singers:

One of his bands, where he does guitars, vocals (clean, throat singing):


Ending this blog post with Otu’s own words: “Keep your head high and keep chasing those dreams of yours because I’m sure as hell, will be chasing mine.”

More info on his blog: Olli Suurmunne

Reviews, Series, Steffi Says

Boy Meets World / Girl Meets World: Have you watched them?

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For those of you who have grew up watching Boy Meets World, or who like me watched it recently, I would love to suggest that you consider watching Girl Meets World. And I will tell you why.

Cory and Topanga are the parents of this girl that the series is about. It’s freaking fantastic to have them both on TV again. I loved them then, and I still adore them now. To me, they are one of my favourite couples, and it’s saying a lot, since I watch way too many series ;p

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What is so great about Girl Meets World is that all the main characters from Boy Meets World guest appear in the new show… which makes it really exciting, nostalgic and emotional. It’s so awesome to see them again. The fact that they still manage to kick ass in their old character, is what makes this show so worth my time. Shawn Hunter especially, what a great lad he has grown up into!

For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about, have a look at Boy Meets World trailer (1990s), and afterwards Girl Meets World trailer (2014) below. You can see the same familiar faces in both shows; only more grown up of course!

Crazy Outbursts, My Life, Steffi Says

Of Age and Maturity

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(no, I am not talking about aged wine here…)

During the weekend, I always try to find some time to go through the posts written by the bloggers I follow, which I might have missed during the week, when I was too busy to catch up. One of the articles I came across, was the one in relation to age.

I must say, that most often than not, I fool too many people I meet. There’s an assumption that I am still very young, so they wonder how could I have accomplished so much at such a tender and innocent age. It’s almost funny. Sometimes, it doesn’t feel like  a compliment. I am 27, and will be 28 in October. That’s why I have purchased a house, that’s why I own a car and that’s why I am so mature. When you are at a certain age in life, you have certain commitments and because of this you need to grow up. You can’t just waste all your money on every little thing you see and want. You have to think it through. Do I actually need this? Will I use it? Will I make it to end of the month? Sooner or later, you accept this and you just deal with it without getting annoyed at yourself and the limitations. To an extend.

To me, being mature is a good thing, as long as you know how to loosen up and have fun when the situations require you to do so. What is life without a bit of an adventure, without drinks with friends and without doing things at the spur of the moment? Sure, I am a bit of a planner and I hate it when things I planned don’t go my way. But when you sometimes go out without making any plans and go with the flow, when you least expect to enjoy yourself… those are the times which you will remember and which you will treasure.. Nothing wrong with being spontaneous, as long as you keep your feet on the ground and not do anything irrational!

Along the lines of age and maturity, I really do not appreciate people who can’t be mature during times of need. They just like taking the piss out of everything, and all they deserve is a slap in the face, or their head smashed into the wall…Point taken, I think? With this in mind, what I am about to say comes with no surprise; This is why I am no longer interested in guys who are my age or younger. They just stress me out, and I feel like I am their mother; having to tell them what to do because they don’t know any better… or teach them how to be mature, and save up some money in case hell breaks lose. You can compare it to a mission impossible. Is it so much to ask to be responsible of your own actions and to be able to deal with your own crap?

Seems like it.

So until then, I shall remain a cat lady……… Maybe one day, one great guy will sweep me off my feet once and for all.

Lessons Learned, My articles / researches, My Life, Steffi Says

Thoughts on Genders

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Some people wonder, why I enjoy spending time more with the male gender rather than with the female gender. Today, I will try to explain this, and please note that whatever I write here, it is not always the case for men and women.

Most of the girls I meet, are very dramatic, and girly. I do not find anything in common with them and their idea of a perfect way of spending the day… Shopping and trying out clothes and then, buying nothing… because their tummy is too fat, or their boobs are saggy. Whenever I go shopping (which is rare, since I mostly shop online), I know what I want, I find it, try it, purchase it; end of story. Women are never straight to the point, and most often then not cannot decide on anything. I find this stressful, and annoying. Especially when all the complains are on things which don’t matter, like ‘I just straightened my hair but now it’s raining, and it’s gonna be a mess’… blah blah blah. Why do I have to hear about this? I am not Jesus, and I can’t make the rain stop. Just deal with it.

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Men, are the other way round – straight to the point and the good ones are truthful and loyal; though rare. You always know where you are with them, there’s not many mind games going on. Unless, they fall for you. Because then, most turn into a woman, instead of manning up and tell you what they’re feeling (or make them stop, if they dislike it).

For instance, if I look bad in a dress, it’s more likely that a guy would come to me and say it, rather than a woman. Because, that’s how they are made. Women would try and compliment you on the good parts of it, rather than letting you know it doesn’t suit you (or talk about you with their friends). Men would behave like women in this case, when they want to get laid, or they like you too much.