Tag Archives: innocent

Auschwitz – A change of heart

If there was one place that I visited in Poland, which has impacted my life it’s Auschwitz. Although I read, view documentaries and discussed this place and what happened here a multitude of times, I could not have imagined what the people have went through.

Welcome to Auschwitz

Being there, in one of the coldest days in Poland in the last ten years, I began to imagine, how these innocent people must have felt. They arrived in this destination, feeling uneased, terrified of what’s next… taken away from their loved ones. They were stripped down off their clothes and possessions. Freezing cold, working harder than you ever thought possible, malnutritioned. Did you know that these workers on average didn’t last a week? And those, were the lucky ones. The rest, well you probably already know what happened to them.

I felt sadness, a heavy heart, bad things transpired here.

welcome-to-auschwitz-streets-museum

What I did not know before going to Auschwitz was to how many men, women and children this happened. Although I was familiar with the numbers, I could not quantify it. In a few words, a section of this museum (it’s no longer referred as a concentration camp) is dedicated to “Proof”. Here, you can see an abundant amount of what was left behind – shoes, hair, utensils, luggage. This was what made my heart slow down with pain and disgust, what really angered me. Now, I understood. Now, I know that this was one of the worst, if not the worst experiment that ever happened in the world.  I felt humiliated to be called human, I hope that such a thing never happens again. Although we were not alive then, we should still be aware of what occurred, and we have to be intelligent enough to not let it happen ever again.

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Age, is the question.

When I was much younger, think – early teenage years, I used to believe that being 18 years old was old. Because you know, you are officially an adult, you can drive, you can vote… you name it! When I got to the age of 18, I was worried on how I will feel when I am no longer a teenager. 10 years later, I am terrified of the idea of being 30!

This time three years ago, I was a very busy bee. Why you ask? I was in the process of buying property for the first time, as after 3 years I was tired of stuffing my money in rental properties and having nothing to show for it!

What I didn’t know was, how time consuming and difficult it is to find a place you love, in a town you like and with all the specs you wanted. In the end I settled for a 2 bedroom house, with a yard and a cellar. Almost three years down the road, and I do not know how much money I have put into the house, but I cannot say that it is ready. Truth be told, I haven’t gone down in the cellar for over 2 years, and I have changed my mind on what  I want to do with it a dozen of times.
First I thought I wanted a spa Jacuzzi and a gym area, then I thought a library dungeon sort of thing, and now I think I am settling for a cinema / bar area combo. Needless to say, this project would cost A LOT of money. Money which I still don’t have… and by the time I get to do it, I would probably think that this current idea will not fit my lifestyle (due to age, situation, who knows!)

As rime goes by, I wonder. What makes us who we are? What changes us? Is it age and experiences themselves, is it people? Or is it just us looking for something new…. for a new project or challenge?

Of Age and Maturity

(no, I am not talking about aged wine here…)

During the weekend, I always try to find some time to go through the posts written by the bloggers I follow, which I might have missed during the week, when I was too busy to catch up. One of the articles I came across, was the one in relation to age.

I must say, that most often than not, I fool too many people I meet. There’s an assumption that I am still very young, so they wonder how could I have accomplished so much at such a tender and innocent age. It’s almost funny. Sometimes, it doesn’t feel like  a compliment. I am 27, and will be 28 in October. That’s why I have purchased a house, that’s why I own a car and that’s why I am so mature. When you are at a certain age in life, you have certain commitments and because of this you need to grow up. You can’t just waste all your money on every little thing you see and want. You have to think it through. Do I actually need this? Will I use it? Will I make it to end of the month? Sooner or later, you accept this and you just deal with it without getting annoyed at yourself and the limitations. To an extend.

To me, being mature is a good thing, as long as you know how to loosen up and have fun when the situations require you to do so. What is life without a bit of an adventure, without drinks with friends and without doing things at the spur of the moment? Sure, I am a bit of a planner and I hate it when things I planned don’t go my way. But when you sometimes go out without making any plans and go with the flow, when you least expect to enjoy yourself… those are the times which you will remember and which you will treasure.. Nothing wrong with being spontaneous, as long as you keep your feet on the ground and not do anything irrational!

Along the lines of age and maturity, I really do not appreciate people who can’t be mature during times of need. They just like taking the piss out of everything, and all they deserve is a slap in the face, or their head smashed into the wall…Point taken, I think? With this in mind, what I am about to say comes with no surprise; This is why I am no longer interested in guys who are my age or younger. They just stress me out, and I feel like I am their mother; having to tell them what to do because they don’t know any better… or teach them how to be mature, and save up some money in case hell breaks lose. You can compare it to a mission impossible. Is it so much to ask to be responsible of your own actions and to be able to deal with your own crap?

Seems like it.

So until then, I shall remain a cat lady……… Maybe one day, one great guy will sweep me off my feet once and for all.