Tag Archives: woman

8 things to strengthen one’s relationship

Given the last 13 years of somewhat unsuccessful relationship “experience”, I have tried to gather and combine a list of things or tips, which I think would make or help in having a satisfying and working long term relationship.

  1. Honesty; Possibly the most important thing of all. Always be honest and truthful to each other, on all things in your life, be it as a couple or individual. Honesty helps you feel more comfortable and assured on where you stand in your love affair.
  2. Be respectful – Mutual respect is important in maintaining a healthy relationship. The wishes and feelings of each other are valuable even when you disagree. Be genuine and show interest in your partner’s life and hobbies – such things can only bring you closer as a couple.
  3. Trust – This is the foundation of a happy and fulfilling relationship. It take time to build trust and can be lost in a split of a second if one feels betrayed. Examples of being trustworthy are: being reliable and following up on your promises, share what you feel and always say the truth, be a safe place for your partner, be consistent (not only when it is convenient or things are going well).
  4. Be considerate – Keep each other in the loop, ask for holdinghandssunseteach other’s advise in decision making, especially when this will affect your life together as a couple.
  5. Affection – don’t just say that you love your partner; demonstrate it. Kiss each other good morning, be passionate, hold hands in public, take pictures together – make memories… surprise each other with a romantic date or a gift.
  6. Know your Priorities – Although we all lead busy lives, we should always find time for our partners. If you don’t see this as important, perhaps you should spend some time to think about this and why you are hanging onto a relationship which you don’t feel devoted to. If we all invest as much time on our relationship as we do texting, playing games, on social media and watching TV  or films, we might actually have a meaningful relationship.
  7. Security – Show that your partner can count on you to be there in times of need; be it emotionally or physically.
  8. Be a team  – You are stronger together, as a team. Make plans, ensure you have shared goals and same purposes and views long term. Work together.

yourman

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Compliments

I am not a person who accepts compliments easily and for various reasons
– Lack of self confidence
– People are more often than not, not genuine, and compliment you out of sarcasm, or simply to compliment them back
– Just awkward, especially when it is a random unknown person

Lets take an example of what has happened today. I got home right after work, 15 minutes before the shops close, I realised I forgot to buy something I needed for the day so I dressed up in the first thing I found nearby and went out. In the next 10 minutes, I was “complimented” by 3 strangers; two regarding my hair, and another regarding my general appearance.
In my eyes (or in my head, because I didn’t look in the mirror!), these adjectives sounded like they were untrustworthy, and were simply said in attempt to get my attention.

When I am feeling upset, or perhaps I am having a bad day, these words give me a bit of a boost… but on average I pretend that I have not heard a thing and keep walking. Well, even if I were to accept such words, should I just keep muttering thank you to  each and every non-creepy looks legit enough person?

 

What women look for in a man

This is just my point of view here, so agree to disagree ;p

Honesty / Loyalty
To me, if you are not honest and loyal, you might as well call it quits. Truth be told, at one point I’m going to find out, so you are better off giving up already. Never lie, no matter how bad the situation is, and there is no other option than expressing your true feelings. If you are not ready to commit, just be sincere about it and don’t give the wrong impression.
Honesty is the best policy as it works.
Be faithful.

Intelligence 
They say, that physical attraction is important, which is true. But going out with your partner solely for that reason is very shallow. I find intelligence as a huge turn on. I love  it when a man is able to talk about his experiences and subjects which I am not familiar with; like I can learn something from him, and we are not just talking for the sake of not being silent.

Sense of Humour 
If a man can’t make me laugh, and if I don’t feel like I can be silly (myself) around him, I don’t think there’s much of a future in that relationship. Having the same sense of humour would be the cherry on the cake :o)

Confidence
Not in the sense that you think that you are a God sent to women, but in the sense that you act on your promises, knowing what you want in life.
Nothing is sexier than a man who is decisive and goes after what he wants.

Self Security
If you cannot love yourself, and if you are not willing to work on yourself to fulfill your life and your dreams… How can I expect you to love and respect me?

Chivalry 
As much as us women want to be equal to our partner, I’d say that from time to time, it is lovely for a man to go the extra mile and for instance, open the door for their lady, or take off her jacket, just for the sake of being nice.
Chivalry is only dead if you want it to be dead.

The ability to listen
Sometimes, all we want is someone to listen. Forget about logic, just listen to us, without trying to find a solution to everything. Listening is caring. Just hold our hand, and hold us, while we pour our heart out

Romance
Well, isn’t it romance that keeps a relationship alive?
I’ve always been into guys who are masculine, however I think that every woman loves to be swept off her feet; that a man is not embarrassed to show off his love and desire for his woman.
Personally, I’d find these things irresistible.

Help in household
Ok, this might sound lame… but in the 21st century both the man and the woman work to make ends meet, which means that both of them should do the dishes, cleaning, cooking etc. Plus, I love it when a man can cook.

Considerate
Being thoughtful is important for many reasons. We all love the idea of being called or texted randomly during the day, just to be reminded that we are being missed…. Or perhaps, being surprised by a bouquet of flowers, or find a meal ready when we go back home. Not just this, being considerate means, not make plans without the other knowing, unless of course it is a surprise 😉

12 Things you should not assume about a Girl

Let me share with you some basics about girls. These are based on my experiences from being a teenager until now:

  1. Our favourite colour is pink
    Why would you think something like that? Is it because all the boys like blue? Ha!
  2. We love wearing heels
    Some of us do, I suppose… But I do not see the point of wearing shoes that cause discomfort, and then complain about it all night long. The only time you’d find me in heels is in special occasions such as weddings, and trust me – I wear them because they’re mandatory and not for any other reason.
  3. We dislike watching football
    I won’t speak for all women here, but watching football is a lot of fun and a fantastic way to relax, get mad at people and enjoy eating snacks and beer. (*) See point 5.
  4. When we get dressed up is because we want to get laid
    Not really. If I dress up, I do it for myself. Sometimes I like pampering myself and look good.
  5. Beer is disgusting
    Are you kidding me? It is one of my favourite beverages, as is wine and Jagerrmeister. Also stout and ale. Yum!
  6. We love cleaning the house
    You might as well say that women “belong in the kitchen!” too. This statement might have been okay in the 70s when women stayed home and didn’t work, but in today’s society, it is absurd and I believe everyone should clean.
  7. All we want from life is to have your babies
    We have more purpose in life than having babies, like careers.. traveling, learning. Having babies and a family, is nowadays just one of the options and/or possibilities for a girl. And why can’t we obtain more than one? 🙂
  8. We are not into video games
    Some of us enjoy gaming as one of our pastimes or a way to exercise. It might not be our life, but we can definitely be up to play some games with you.
  9. We are not good in math
    Or science… Right. When I was at school studying IT and Software Development, the guys believed that I would fail because this is a male’s world. But here I am, two diplomas and a degree later, and with tons of IT experience. Again… the world has changed.
  10. We only love watching chick flicks
    What if this is true? Does this make us weak? NO! 
  11. We can’t make our own decisions
    Let’s hope for our sake that this applies for all women: We are mature and sensible enough to make our own decisions. We are not stubborn, and if you are important to us, we listen to your ideas, and we factor them in our decision process.
  12. When we are nice, it doesn’t mean we are flirting
    If this were true, I’d be one of the biggest flirts in the world. I’d like to think of myself as a good person, for those who deserve it. So I am nice, I am helpful, I am patient. But please, in no way shall you mistake this to me being flirty. Thank you.

never-assume

The Loft (Movie Review & Quotes)

Yesterday I decided to have a relaxing evening after going out two nights in a row and spending the day in Valletta. I have made bruschetta for the first time which turned out delicious… (I will be making it again!)

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One glass of wine later, I decided to watch a movie which I’ve been wanting to watch for a while. It goes by the name of ‘The Loft’ and it’s considered to be in the thriller genre. Although I was not disappointed by this movie itself, I must say that I was not amused either. The story was quite original, in the sense that five married guys bought a penthouse to take all their mistresses and fuck buddies there, rather than getting caught or seen in hotel rooms. The only agreement they had between each other is that they’d tell the rest when they are occupying the apartment. 5 keys; one per each guy, and one dead body later…. The twist in the plot was quite interesting, but after seeing so many movies of this genre, it was quite obvious that the most perverted one out of the suspects has done it. And so was the case.

What left an impact on me was a quote from this very movie:

“The people you love, are the only ones who can hurt you.”

How true is that?

How easier would life be if we never get hurt?

But, how worthwhile would it be, in the expense of never feeling love and all its emotions ever again?

Of Age and Maturity

(no, I am not talking about aged wine here…)

During the weekend, I always try to find some time to go through the posts written by the bloggers I follow, which I might have missed during the week, when I was too busy to catch up. One of the articles I came across, was the one in relation to age.

I must say, that most often than not, I fool too many people I meet. There’s an assumption that I am still very young, so they wonder how could I have accomplished so much at such a tender and innocent age. It’s almost funny. Sometimes, it doesn’t feel like  a compliment. I am 27, and will be 28 in October. That’s why I have purchased a house, that’s why I own a car and that’s why I am so mature. When you are at a certain age in life, you have certain commitments and because of this you need to grow up. You can’t just waste all your money on every little thing you see and want. You have to think it through. Do I actually need this? Will I use it? Will I make it to end of the month? Sooner or later, you accept this and you just deal with it without getting annoyed at yourself and the limitations. To an extend.

To me, being mature is a good thing, as long as you know how to loosen up and have fun when the situations require you to do so. What is life without a bit of an adventure, without drinks with friends and without doing things at the spur of the moment? Sure, I am a bit of a planner and I hate it when things I planned don’t go my way. But when you sometimes go out without making any plans and go with the flow, when you least expect to enjoy yourself… those are the times which you will remember and which you will treasure.. Nothing wrong with being spontaneous, as long as you keep your feet on the ground and not do anything irrational!

Along the lines of age and maturity, I really do not appreciate people who can’t be mature during times of need. They just like taking the piss out of everything, and all they deserve is a slap in the face, or their head smashed into the wall…Point taken, I think? With this in mind, what I am about to say comes with no surprise; This is why I am no longer interested in guys who are my age or younger. They just stress me out, and I feel like I am their mother; having to tell them what to do because they don’t know any better… or teach them how to be mature, and save up some money in case hell breaks lose. You can compare it to a mission impossible. Is it so much to ask to be responsible of your own actions and to be able to deal with your own crap?

Seems like it.

So until then, I shall remain a cat lady……… Maybe one day, one great guy will sweep me off my feet once and for all.

Thoughts on Genders

Some people wonder, why I enjoy spending time more with the male gender rather than with the female gender. Today, I will try to explain this, and please note that whatever I write here, it is not always the case for men and women.

Most of the girls I meet, are very dramatic, and girly. I do not find anything in common with them and their idea of a perfect way of spending the day… Shopping and trying out clothes and then, buying nothing… because their tummy is too fat, or their boobs are saggy. Whenever I go shopping (which is rare, since I mostly shop online), I know what I want, I find it, try it, purchase it; end of story. Women are never straight to the point, and most often then not cannot decide on anything. I find this stressful, and annoying. Especially when all the complains are on things which don’t matter, like ‘I just straightened my hair but now it’s raining, and it’s gonna be a mess’… blah blah blah. Why do I have to hear about this? I am not Jesus, and I can’t make the rain stop. Just deal with it.

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Men, are the other way round – straight to the point and the good ones are truthful and loyal; though rare. You always know where you are with them, there’s not many mind games going on. Unless, they fall for you. Because then, most turn into a woman, instead of manning up and tell you what they’re feeling (or make them stop, if they dislike it).

For instance, if I look bad in a dress, it’s more likely that a guy would come to me and say it, rather than a woman. Because, that’s how they are made. Women would try and compliment you on the good parts of it, rather than letting you know it doesn’t suit you (or talk about you with their friends). Men would behave like women in this case, when they want to get laid, or they like you too much.