Tag Archives: couple

8 things to strengthen one’s relationship

Given the last 13 years of somewhat unsuccessful relationship “experience”, I have tried to gather and combine a list of things or tips, which I think would make or help in having a satisfying and working long term relationship.

  1. Honesty; Possibly the most important thing of all. Always be honest and truthful to each other, on all things in your life, be it as a couple or individual. Honesty helps you feel more comfortable and assured on where you stand in your love affair.
  2. Be respectful – Mutual respect is important in maintaining a healthy relationship. The wishes and feelings of each other are valuable even when you disagree. Be genuine and show interest in your partner’s life and hobbies – such things can only bring you closer as a couple.
  3. Trust – This is the foundation of a happy and fulfilling relationship. It take time to build trust and can be lost in a split of a second if one feels betrayed. Examples of being trustworthy are: being reliable and following up on your promises, share what you feel and always say the truth, be a safe place for your partner, be consistent (not only when it is convenient or things are going well).
  4. Be considerate – Keep each other in the loop, ask for holdinghandssunseteach other’s advise in decision making, especially when this will affect your life together as a couple.
  5. Affection – don’t just say that you love your partner; demonstrate it. Kiss each other good morning, be passionate, hold hands in public, take pictures together – make memories… surprise each other with a romantic date or a gift.
  6. Know your Priorities – Although we all lead busy lives, we should always find time for our partners. If you don’t see this as important, perhaps you should spend some time to think about this and why you are hanging onto a relationship which you don’t feel devoted to. If we all invest as much time on our relationship as we do texting, playing games, on social media and watching TV  or films, we might actually have a meaningful relationship.
  7. Security – Show that your partner can count on you to be there in times of need; be it emotionally or physically.
  8. Be a team  – You are stronger together, as a team. Make plans, ensure you have shared goals and same purposes and views long term. Work together.

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Connections

When it comes to a relationship; be it a romantic relationship, friendship, family etc, I think that the most important thing is consistency.

In the sense, that I expect a sense of honesty and loyalty. A sense of openness and support, without the need of asking them for it. Because, if these people do not know you, if these people cannot figure you out, who will?

If you don’t receive some kind of general interest from them regarding your life and your well being, I think it is worrying. Not caring about one another, is the first step in disbanding whatever relationship there is amongst the two of you.

I am no counselor, but I think that I have enough experience to determine whether a boat is sinking or not. And if I point this out to you, don’t get insulted; I do this because I belief you are too important for me to lose you, and I am worried that if we keep doing what we are doing the consequences are not in our favour.

I am a very selective person, so if you are part of my life, a part of my inner circle; please  know you are irreplaceable, and I will do my utmost to see you happy.

Pain without Love

When your heart is in sorrow
Breaking –
Colliding into nothingness

When you feel like all hope
is shattered –
Drunk out of control

When you risked it all
so, vulnerable
from happiness to numbness

Save me –
Repeat

 

________________________________________
//By Steffi – 2016.06.01

15 statements Single People are fed up of hearing

This blog post is targeted to single people or perhaps people who were single for some months in the past.

How many of you have been bothered to no end with friends and family constantly asking you all these dead-end questions, and giving you useless tips?

  1. Are you still single?
    As if, there is something wrong about being single…. Why the unneeded pressure?
  2. Are you seeing someone?
    Don’t you think I would have told you if I’m seeing someone special?
  3.  I wish Tinder existed when I was single…. So many opportunities to have fun and ‘mingle around’
    What are you doing in your relationship, if you are not enjoying it?
  4.  There’s many fish in the water
    Yes, exactly. That’s why I am single… because there are so many great options out there.
  5. It will all happen when you least expect it
    *whistles casually* Will it happen now? How about… now?
  6. I have heard of a good dating site that you should try out…
    Why would you know about it? Are you considering leaving your partner?
  7. I know this great guy (or girl)… Shall I set you up?
    If he is so great, what is wrong with him?
  8.  I miss being single.
    Really? GO HOME.
  9. Maybe technology is your greatest enemy… stop looking…
    How am I supposed to use that dating site that you just suggested?
  10. You are not putting yourself out there enough
    Yes, let me make my own tshirt ‘Single and Looking’ and write my phone number on public bathroom doors
  11. Maybe you are too picky. (Stop looking for a long hair dude who’s a geek.)
    Yes, let me just pick a random guy off the street which I have nothing in common with and ask him out
  12. You are so unlucky, I’d dated you if I was single. You are so amazing.
    Oh wow, thanks for letting me know now…
  13. Maybe you attract the wrong people
    I thought you just said I’m amazing?
  14. You have all the time in the world. You are so young; the world is your oyster.
    Yes, I will be young forever… and maybe forever alone too while I’m at it.
  15. All the good guys (or girls) are taken
    Thank you for all your support. That makes me feel all better.

Steffi Advice #3 – Inhabitable Situation with Parents

Dear Steffi,

I am 32 years old and I still live with my parents. I am about to be married in 2 years, and it is best to stay with them as it is cheaper this way and can save more money for the wedding. But they make me so angry, I want to punch a wall sometimes.

Wall Puncher

—————–

Dear Wall Puncher,

I can understand your situation as I have a lot of friends and acquaintances who went through this problem. When you are of a certain age, and you want your own privacy and space, it is a huge challenge to keep living with your parents without any fights and disruptions. Two years is quite some time, and I doubt that you should wait this long. Being stressed and angry with your situation, is not only bad for your relationship with your parents, but also with your soon to be spouse as well as with friends. It can affect your sleep and thus your behaviour at work and your motivation in everything else. I would suggest that you find a flat mate or perhaps see if one of your friends would like to join forces to live together to reduce costs. if you have bought a home with your partner and it’s habitable you can consider moving there, if you are both in agreement to it. You can give it a try for a number of days, and see if you prefer this to your current living situation. Good luck!

Much Love XXX