Today, while at work, I have attended a focus group regarding change and how to deal with it. This was informative to say the least. In fact, it made me realise how important it is to be positive in life – how to be determined, and to work hard for what you believe in.
In the last few months, a lot has changed in my life:
In summer, I was made redundant. It was a real struggle for me. I have never been in this position before, and I certainly did not see it coming. I was in shock for a number of days, and I could not believe my luck – This could not come at a worse time, with the wedding coming up. After a bit, I had to face the music and started by overhauling my CV. I made sure I got a few good recommendations from some ex-colleagues, and started looking for a job. A month later, I got a job offer which I accepted and here I am.
A new job and a new role later, this means more change and adaptation! Here I was, learning the ropes again. Luckily, I do love change so I took this challenge head on. Four months later, I feel like things are good again and I am settling in nicely.
Friends. Well, that was another bump in the road – However, I decided that after all I have been through this summer, all those who did not care should be of no concern of mine. I made a decision to let go of what was worrying me – There was no longer a point investing my energy in them. Upwards and onward, they say.
In the recent months, it was decided that myself and Daniel should look for a house to make it our own. This means that I will be selling my house. While this is something I want, it also requires myself (and Daniel) to uproot from the places we now call home. I am excited that we get to do this, but again it will not be an easy task – rewarding none the less.
In conclusion, change should be embraced with an open heart. While it might not feel positive in the beginning, things will get better – but only if you let them.
The early days of a relationship are always a show of sorts. We put on our best faces for dates and try to paint ourselves in the brightest light possible. If we really like someone, we may even change our views to please them or tell white lies about our true natures.
But, when the relationship gets underway, that mask has to slip. In many ways, this is a good thing. When you let down that guard, true love can come in. Sure, the promise of your ‘perfect man’ might have caught your attention in the first place. But, you may not know he’s ‘the one’ until you seem him at a weak moment. That said, this slipping of masks is often a painful process, and can be fraught with unpleasant surprises. It may be that there’s a habit or quirk to your partner’s personality which you really don’t like. When you think about it, it makes sense that they would hide this. Who goes on a date and grandstands their worst personality traits? Over time, you may come to realize that your seemingly gentle boyfriend has a nasty temper. Or, perhaps that attentive man spends more time on his phone than you first thought. The issue which makes itself known may be even severe, like a gambling addiction, or something like depression.
Sadly, this period is where many relationships end. And, believe it or not, that’s rarely due to the realisation that Mr Perfect is only human. In fact, most of the time, our attempts to change our partners put the nail in the romance coffin. You know how it is; you look past his temper because you think you can cure him of it. You assume that, because he’s with you now, his depression should evaporate. But, here’s a horrible truth; love isn’t an instant fix. While it is a crucial part of life, it can’t just clear the way of problems. What’s more, approaching a relationship with thoughts of changing a person is the worst thing you can do. It suggests that you love your idea of them, not who they are. And, we all know that love is about accepting someone for their true selves. In fact, the only real time change would be the best route open to you is if this bad personality trait puts your partner at risk. Otherwise, you should attempt to help your partner when you notice these issues. It isn’t easy, but it may be the only way to keep your relationship healthy. And, we’re going to look at a few of the ways you can achieve it. Recognize their triggers For the most part, traits like these come with triggers. It’s likely certain things set off that raging temper, for instance. Equally, there may be certain situations which drive a gambler to hit the casino. As their partner, it’s your responsibility to notice. Do this without comment or judgement. Observe and accept the situation. Then, do what you can to help them avoid situations like these where possible. If you see your raging man getting mad, grab his hands and do a quick dance around the room, or something equally fun. This will distract his attention, as well as reinforcing your relationship. You may also notice that he’s more liable to gamble when worried about money. If you’re at the stage where you’re living together, do what you can to keep finances in check, or discuss ways to make more money. Again, this will help with communication, as well as distraction. It may be best, though, not to outwardly tell him about the triggers you’ve noticed. Making him aware of your observations could turn to a trigger in itself. He’ll also then be able to tell when you’re distracting attention, and that could drive him further towards the places you don’t want him to go. Point him down a better path
This step is tricky. Get it wrong, and you could slip into the territory of trying to change your partner. But, if you take your time here, you may find that you can point him down a better path. The trick here is not to speak in definites. Merely make suggestions which you think would improve a situation. Do this subtly, so that your man doesn’t feel you’re preaching to him. It could be that leave a program on television discussing ways to deal with anger. Or, you may want to look at sites like Casino Guru which could at least recommend reliable casinos if he is going to gamble. If mental illness is the issue, talk to him about his treatment options. Through discussions, he may find he settles on a new approach which could work well. And, you can achieve all this without ever directly attempting to change the way your lover behaves. Instead, he’ll come to associate you as a reassuring presence who helps him make his own decisions. Focus on the future Focusing on the future is always a good idea in a relationship. If things start to stagnate, it can lead to frustration and disillusionment. But, it becomes even more critical in cases like these. If, for instance, your partner is depressed, a focus on your plans as a couple could be a considerable incentive for recovery. If it’s a mutual decision, a determination to have kids in the future could be all it takes to encourage your partner to get help. Equally, this could encourage them to face up to addictions, be they gambling or anything else. The knowledge of future parenthood could even help with anger management problems. After all, no one wants to be that parent who shouts all the time. Bear in mind that it’s essential you let your partner lead conversations like these. If they aren’t ready to discuss this kind of thing, pressure could push them further into a negative place. But, if you’re both in the same headspace here, the future could be the best tonic.
A lack of happiness in the workplace is a big issue. So it won’t come as any surprise that scientists are trying to figure out what makes workers see the brighter side of life. Unhappy employees lead to high rates of absenteeism and high turnover and it all damages business’s bottom lines.
So how does one create a happy workplace? It all comes down to positive psychology and positive emotions. It’s the reverse to how we usually think about our mental wellbeing. We see mental health as all the things that can go wrong with our minds. But positive psychology is different, It asks what we can do to actively make ourselves happy.
The findings from this field are relevant and can be applied to the workplace. Let’s take a look at some of the field’s most pertinent conclusions.
Positive Emotions Are Contagious
In one study researchers wanted to find out if positive emotions were contagious. They set up a group situation and planted an actor in its midst. The actor was trained by the researchers to exude positivity in the group setting. The researchers found that the person acting positively transmitted their positivity to others. The group experienced less conflict, more cooperation and better performance in doing tasks.
It showed that being around positive people really does have an impact on workplace productivity and wellbeing. Being around happy people rubs off on the rest of us misery guts.
Small Actions Have A Big Impact On Personal Happiness
You might think that in order to achieve happiness, something incredible has to happen – like winning the lottery. But the evidence suggests that people react far more positively to the smaller things. This is great news for employers, as it means that they don’t have to spend vast sums of money trying to make their workers happier.
Take bereavement for example. As the bereavement leave guide by Peninsula Group explains, employers don’t have a duty to provide workers with time off right now. But employers who allow compassionate leave can help to improve the wellbeing of their employees enormously. Small gestures like this are surprisingly effective. So too as things like making lists of all the good things a worker did or writing a letter saying how much a worker helped you.
When good things happen to us that we didn’t predict, it makes us a lot happier. The researchers found that people’s happiness centres lit up more on MRI scans when positive stimuli were unexpected.
At work, managers often create very predictable happiness programmes for their employees. They organise summer and Christmas parties. They give out bonuses. And they organise team events. But when it comes to happiness, this might not be the best strategy. It might be better, in fact, to make your happiness activities more random and to surprise your employees.
Random acts of kindness around the workplace seems to be the way to go. You could surprise a high-performing employee with a reward. Or you could give workers a surprise trip out of the office to a local theme park. The possibilities are endless.
There are those people in your life, who bring out the best in you.
There are others, who just make you mad and question life itself.
Some of the two kinds, inspire me in the best ways.
Finally, I have found my mojo*.
Finally, I can put onto paper what I have held in for so long…
This week, has made me look back, and wonder… When was the last time I was really happy? When was the last time, I felt wanted, needed? When was the last time someone has made me feel important?
The answer is, I can’t remember.
It is true, that when we are happy, and we are feeling all the positive vibes and the love around us, we fail to take note of it. We take it for granted, just because it is there; we have, we own it.
Some people come into your life, and immediately fit in. It feels like they have been there all along. But what you don’t realise is, that suddenly your life has more purpose. Like, a certain part of you which you forgot all about (willingly or unwillingly) is whole again. You wonder, how you have let yourself rot like this, and accept what is being thrown at you with arms wide open. Why are we patient and forgiving of undeserving people? Why do we make ourselves believe that everything is okay when it is not?
What has happened to romance? On being blunt, and saying all that you feel inside? On making memories, and holding on to them for dear life? How can we be okay with the fact that chivalry no longer exists? I for one, would love to be swept off my feet.
*mojo: a power that may seem magical and that allows someone to be very effective, successful, etc.
Five more days, until I say goodbye to Betsson.
Yes, you heard things right. I am leaving Betsson Group.
After almost 4 years, I have decided to move on to a new challenge, to a job which will hopefully take me where I want to be. For years, I’ve expressed my unheard wishes, so I decided to take my future in my own hands, sort it out myself.
With a grunt, I shall leave behind, the company I have worked for the longest, and some of the best colleagues I ever had the pleasure to work with. Truth be told, all my closest work mates bar one, have moved on to another job role before me, so I am not too displeased with my current situation. Besides, friends should find a way to communicate and to meet up, so let’s see the outcome of this little experiment 🙂
So what will happen of me, and of SteffiSays?
I will be taking a much needed 4 weeks off, out of which, I will spend 1 week in North Wales and 2 weeks travelling (Roadtripping, baby!). Right after, I will do some house maintenance, and will start working in my new job in the fourth week of September. SteffiSays will stay, there’s no way I will abandon my personal blog which has served me so well in the past 2 years!
Excited? Hell yes!
Although for the time being I will not say much about my new job, I am ecstatic for this opportunity, and for a company to believe in me and see my potential. I believe that in my new role I will be able to make a lot of changes and positive differences to drive the company in the right direction and to the next level. So, CHEERS!
I eagerly waited for church bells to ring at midnight, as I was worried that I will age a year in an instance. No, not really; that is what I thought when I was a kid anyway… but now, I do not believe in this crap anymore… Same with massive celebrations, when in reality, we get older everyday… and those who love us and care about us, should not wait for this day to appreciate us.
This year, I decided that I won’t bother with organising any birthday event or get-together. I decided I want to spend it with myself. In my own company; Take a drive, enjoy nature… whether it rains or shines. Maybe read a book and sip a glass of wine, then an easy afternoon with my cats.
It has been a busy and rather rough year, but I can’t say I didn’t have fun;
I made some new decent friends
I am trying to maintain friendships which are worthwhile. You know who you are!
I finally made a dream come true, by watching AC/DC live
I have also made it to Cardiff and finally saw all things Doctor Who.
I kept in track with fixing the house, although there is still more to maintain and make my house a home…
I am still writing on here, which is a good thing too. I find that writing things down help me deal with things better.
I’ve drank countless bottles of wine, and laughed uncontrollably.
I’ve survived another year with two lovely deviled cats
I’ve managed to get rid of some people who only contact me when they need a favour or they are bored with their lives
I’ve made plans to visit North Wales, and it will happen in a month’s time
I have upgraded my phone to my beloved Samsung s6; fancy pants I know
Although it is hard for me to finish off a book, this year I have managed to read quite a few. The problem is that it is difficult to find a book which keeps me intrigued
I have realised my passion for photography is here to stay, and traveling is the key to my happiness and relaxation
Explored more around the island thanks to my new SatNav
I have also learned a few lessons:
I have learned to love myself and to respect myself, as I am in the end the only constant in my life
It is my life, and i won’t let anyone make me feel that I am doing it wrong. My life, my choices… No one knows what’s best for me better than I do
Don’t judge people, even if you were in their shoes
Complaining and not acting on it gets you nowhere
Don’t let anyone use you for their personal gain
Overall, I feel that I managed to confront most of the challenges thrown in my face with positivity and a dash of panic. I think I did well, but I hope that I keep growing into a strong achievement oriented person as years go by 🙂
Thank you to those of you who stood by me, and pissed me off to no end so that I strive to get better and better at what I do.
Sometimes, there is no better way in getting inspiration than watching a couple of YouTube videos to help you feel better, man up and keep moving forward in life.
Today, I will share with you the person who made me smile yesterday, and who has made me realise that I should keep persisting in getting what I want, and make my dreams come true.
Credit: Youtube/ Otu Channel
The name is Olli Suurmunne from Finland. He owns his own YouTube channel by the name ‘Otu Channel’. This guy has a disability; He was born with a deformed left hand.. yet he is able to do more than an average person does or achieves in a lifetime.
Why?
Because he never saw his defected hand as an obstacle. He works hard, and he has positive results.
He can play the keyboard, guitar, he sings, solves the rubic’s cube in under a minute… he makes amazing digital artwork… He designs, composes and makes games.
Without further ado, this video is what made my heart pounding, what inspired me:
And this is a fun video of the guy singing and impersonating various well known singers:
One of his bands, where he does guitars, vocals (clean, throat singing):
Ending this blog post with Otu’s own words: “Keep your head high and keep chasing those dreams of yours because I’m sure as hell, will be chasing mine.”
Some of us do not see the purpose in Trip Advisor and think that saying your thoughts about the service you have received in a restaurant is like you are attacking them personally, or attacking the employees. The way I usually end up rating a restaurant is with regards to various aspects:
The food
The atmosphere
The service
The value of money considering all the above
Most often than not, before making a complaint on Trip Advisor, I try to talk to one of the employees; let them know I am disappointed or that something was not as expected. If they choose to not do anything about it, then it is no longer my problem. I have tried, and I got nothing out of it. And I feel like it is about time to share this with the Trip Advisor society, to warn them on things they can expect. When something goes wrong, I would still when possible mention the good sides of the place I have visited. And just because I see something as wrong, it does not mean that everyone should agree with me. It is only my point of view.
At this point I have given almost 200 contributions to this site, and I have received over 40 helpful votes; I think I am doing something right. I’d say, that even if in Malta it is not yet as popular as it is in any other country, the tourists are looking at it to decide on the best locations and services
So before you complain about a negative rating, learn from it and fix things… Reply with concern to negative rating.. That way a customer feels like his review was read and dealt with.. Especially if the negative comment is ‘voted up’.
Flickr
Flickr
Why do we make ourselves believe that everything is okay when it is not?
… Same with massive celebrations, when in reality, we get older everyday… and those who love us and care about us, should not wait for this day to appreciate us.
Steffi Says... 