Tag Archives: memories

8 things to strengthen one’s relationship

Given the last 13 years of somewhat unsuccessful relationship “experience”, I have tried to gather and combine a list of things or tips, which I think would make or help in having a satisfying and working long term relationship.

  1. Honesty; Possibly the most important thing of all. Always be honest and truthful to each other, on all things in your life, be it as a couple or individual. Honesty helps you feel more comfortable and assured on where you stand in your love affair.
  2. Be respectful – Mutual respect is important in maintaining a healthy relationship. The wishes and feelings of each other are valuable even when you disagree. Be genuine and show interest in your partner’s life and hobbies – such things can only bring you closer as a couple.
  3. Trust – This is the foundation of a happy and fulfilling relationship. It take time to build trust and can be lost in a split of a second if one feels betrayed. Examples of being trustworthy are: being reliable and following up on your promises, share what you feel and always say the truth, be a safe place for your partner, be consistent (not only when it is convenient or things are going well).
  4. Be considerate – Keep each other in the loop, ask for holdinghandssunseteach other’s advise in decision making, especially when this will affect your life together as a couple.
  5. Affection – don’t just say that you love your partner; demonstrate it. Kiss each other good morning, be passionate, hold hands in public, take pictures together – make memories… surprise each other with a romantic date or a gift.
  6. Know your Priorities – Although we all lead busy lives, we should always find time for our partners. If you don’t see this as important, perhaps you should spend some time to think about this and why you are hanging onto a relationship which you don’t feel devoted to. If we all invest as much time on our relationship as we do texting, playing games, on social media and watching TV  or films, we might actually have a meaningful relationship.
  7. Security – Show that your partner can count on you to be there in times of need; be it emotionally or physically.
  8. Be a team  – You are stronger together, as a team. Make plans, ensure you have shared goals and same purposes and views long term. Work together.

yourman

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A Step Back

There are those people in your life, who bring out the best in you.
There are others, who just make you mad and question life itself.

Some of the two kinds, inspire me in the best ways.

Finally, I have found my mojo*.
Finally, I can put onto paper what I have held in for so long…

This week, has made me look back, and wonder… When was the last time I was really happy? When was the last time, I felt wanted, needed? When was the last time someone has made me feel important?

The answer is, I can’t remember.

It is true, that when  we are happy, and we are feeling all the positive vibes and the love around us, we fail to take note of it. We take it for granted, just because it is there; we have, we own it.

Some people come into your life, and immediately fit in. It feels like they have been there all along. But what you don’t realise is, that suddenly your life has more purpose. Like, a certain part of you which you forgot all about (willingly or unwillingly) is whole again. You wonder, how you have let yourself rot like this, and accept what is being thrown at you with arms wide open. Why are we patient and forgiving of undeserving people? chivalryWhy do we make ourselves believe that everything is okay when it is not?

What has happened to romance? On being blunt, and saying all that you feel inside? On making memories, and holding on to them for dear life? How can we be okay with the fact that chivalry no longer exists? I for one, would love to be swept off my feet.

*mojo: a power that may seem magical and that allows someone to be very effective, successful, etc.

Travelling Abroad With Kids

 

Family holidays are what memories are made of; fun in the pool, ice creams and sand castles on the beach. But taking young children on holiday requires a fair amount of planning and consideration. To keep your holiday fun-filled while keeping safe and everything running as smoothly as possible, here are a few things to bear in mind.

planeTravelling with kids (pic 1)

 

Get Vaccinations Up To Date

You won’t always need specific vaccinations when you’re travelling abroad depending on where you’re going. However children should be vaccinated with their regular childhood immunisations. Ideally they will be vaccinated at the routine times for their age, although if you are due to travel abroad it’s likely that these will need to be done more quickly. It’s important be be aware that not all travel related vaccines are effective in infants, and in some cases they may not be recommended at all due to the risk of doing more harm than good. Making sure your child’s regular immunisations are all up to date before travelling is important, for the full list of jabs they need check out this.

 

Hire a Car

It’s no secret that young children get restless quickly. Instead of lugging them (and all of their stuff) onto public transport you might find it’s easier to hire a car. You can load everything into the boot before you leave each day, and you have much more control of getting from A to B. Most car hire companies will offer hire of children’s car seats and booster seats too, giving you one less thing to pack.

car.JPGTravelling with kids (pic 2)

 

Get The Right Visas

A huge number of countries require Visas before you’re able to enter. For example if you’re from outside the US, you’ll require an American Visa application in order to visit. Both accompanied and unaccompanied children no matter what their age require their own independant Visa. It’s quick and easy to do, most are granted online within seconds although it’s recommended that you do this seventy two hours before you’re due to fly. The same applies if you’re an American looking to leave the US, you and the children will require Visas for a large proportion of places- so make sure that’s all sorted in advance. Something to bear in mind when you’re travelling abroad with kids, as they won’t just be covered under your paperwork.

 

Plan Activities

Having a rough idea of what you want to do while you’re away (with the willingness to be flexible) can help to add some structure to the chaotic fun. Don’t try and cram in too much, instead choose a few key activities and assign them to certain days. Leave plenty of time before and after each trip or excursion to relax and rest.

 

Choose The Right Travel Insurance

In most cases you will be able to get cover through a family policy but it’s important to read through carefully, or you could end up out of pocket if you need to make a claim. You will need something with a high level of medical cover, and which includes all of the activities your children will be doing on holiday. This is why it’s worth spending time on the point above and planning some activities beforehand, so you have an idea of what you’ll be doing. Swimming, biking, outdoor games- make sure they are all included. Don’t skimp to get a cheaper premium cost, you’re much better off making sure they’re completely covered.

 

Be Valuable!

When it comes to the subject on how valuable we are, one would think firstly on money. It is true that having an indefinite amount of money, would make you to an extend superior than anyone else, because it means that you can live comfortably, afford the little (and big!) things in life. With money one can upgrade his/her gadgets when they see fit, and spend money loosely without wondering if they they’d survive until months end.

But in reality, money is just money, and things are just things. They’d make you happy when you get them, but sooner or later it is just yet another thing you own, which you will most likely put aside when something better comes along. It is only temporary….

You cannot put a price on what truly is valuable in ourselves and our lives… For instance, the memories we make, we will cherish for the rest of our life. Loving the people close to us, will make us feel complete, and despite the fights and disagreements, we all make our peace and never put each other aside. Investing our time on this and reminiscing about this would always bring a smile to our face. So does, when helping someone in need (a random act of kindness), or a friend who is in a rough situation.

Money, and possessing lots of expensive things, is all fine and dandy, but not if you have no one to share them with because you are just focused on work or you are greedy. Nothing makes your heart happier and rich than when you matter to people, and when you are loved for who you are.

Always appreciate what you have, and don’t do anything silly to jeopardise it.
Remember, there are always people around you who want what you have.  Never take it for granted.

steffisays-be-valuable

 

 

Black Books!

You are probably reading this, because you know my geeky self, and you have an idea what I’m about to talk about.

Second clue would be… Bill Bailey!

I suppose if you are still reading this, you are either aware of what I am talking about (fingers crossed), or otherwise you must be a curious cat. If you are the latter, Black Books is a British sitcom featuring Bill Bailey, Dylan Moran and Tamsin Greig. It is all filmed within a bookshop and it is hilarious.

During my visit to London in July, I made my way to Black Books of course… I was staying in a hotel within 5 minutes walking distance, so I could not miss out the opportunity.

Needless to say, I was delighted I finally made it:

steffisays-blackbooks-fandom-me

Some book that really caught my eye in the book shop display 🙂 steffisays-blackbooks-fandom-caught my eye

Remember, Remember

…The 5th of November!!

guyfawkes
For those who are not in the know, the 5th of November is the night we celebrate Guy Fawkes.

But… Who was Guy Fawkes?
Imagine England in the 1600s.. Still under shock and divided between Catholics and Protestants; of course this goes way back since the reign of King Henry VIII. Four kings later, religion did not change and the pressure was still undergoing. The story of Guy Fawkes happened two years after James I was crowned as king. In fact, Fawkes was one of the main members of The Gunpowder Plot of 1605. A group of Catholics have attempted to bomb, or rather blow up the House of Parliament and kill the king. The idea was to protest against the rule of a Protestant King. Guy was the chosen one, the one to light the fuse on D DAY. Because of this reason, he got a lot of attention regarding the conspiracy story; and also a day named after him.

If the story sounds familiar to you… It is probably because you have watched the film V for Vendetta.
Join me tonight and make it a yearly habit; Join me by watching this. Lets remember this night of treason, together.

So, what are we celebrating on this day?
I would dare say, that for the Brits, this day is Thanksgiving Day. The tradition itself started on the same day and year that the Gunpowder Plot had the failed coup. It started as a joyful celebration of Londoners, relieved that their King was saved. This was done by the means of a bonfire.
As time went by, the celebration became more elaborate. Preparations for the Bonfire Night did not include just the bonfire, but also fireworks. Before this day, some would also dare making a dummy of Guy Fawkes, the Pope and some even of politicians. Guy’s dummy is placed on top of the bonfire, and once it is alight, people would throw into the fire the other dummies. Fireworks display fills the sky all over Britain, and some would also light their own fireworks from their home garden.

Bonfire Night is not just celebrated in Britain, as the tradition itself crossed oceans all over and has become popular in a lot of the British colonies along the years. Canada and New Zealand for instance still celebrate it.

steffisays-guyfawkes-2012
When I lived in England, I was very keen about this Day. I even got my own mask. X

All Hallows’ Eve and Jagermeister

This last Saturday marked the final night out before I travel back to Wales, and it being my favourite holiday of the year, Halloween, I made sure it ended with a bang.

It was the first time I have ever experimented with fake blood, and I underestimated it. Never realised it was so runny and that it so much takes time (was it 15 mins, or 30 minute?) to dry! It kept moving and dripping everywhere. Patience was running low as I kept worrying that I might ruin my dress, but luckily all is good when it ends well.

Originally, I wanted to dress up like some sort of a goth-zombie Jessica Rabbit. I thought it would be funny, since a lot of people pulled my leg about me pulling off that character. Unfortunately the wig I had in mind never made it, so I improvised with the only red and black wig (thus the goth part of the costume) I had available.

When I finished off the make up and added the blood, I looked more like some sort of vampire rather than anything else. BUT I was still rather pleased about the outcome. Especially when people asked me whether my wig was my real hair.

Some photos of the outcome and the night out itself:

Halloween-2015-steffisays-1

Halloween-2015-steffisays-2 Halloween-2015-steffisays-3

Happy Birthday to me!

I eagerly waited for church bells to ring at midnight, as I was worried that I will age a year in an instance. No, not really; that is what I thought when I was a kid anyway… but now, I do not believe in this crap anymoreIMG_20151016_122108-01… Same with massive celebrations, when in reality, we get older everyday… and those who love us and care about us, should not wait for this day to appreciate us.

This year, I decided that I won’t bother with organising any birthday event or get-together. I decided I want to spend it with myself. In my own company; Take a drive, enjoy nature… whether it rains or shines. Maybe read a book and sip a glass of wine, then an easy afternoon with my cats.

It has been a busy and rather rough year, but I can’t say I didn’t have fun;

  • I made some new decent friends
  • I am trying to maintain friendships which are worthwhile. You know who you are!
  • I finally made a dream come true, by watching AC/DC live
  • I have also made it to Cardiff and finally saw all things Doctor Who.
  • I kept in track with fixing the house, although there is still more to maintain and make my house a home…
  • I am still writing on here, which is a good thing too. I find that writing things down help me deal with things better.
  • I’ve drank countless bottles of wine, and laughed uncontrollably.
  • I’ve survived another year with two lovely deviled cats
  • I’ve managed to get rid of some people who only contact me when they need a favour or they are bored with their lives
  • I’ve made plans to visit North Wales, and it will happen in a month’s time
  • I have upgraded my phone to my beloved Samsung s6; fancy pants I know
  • Although it is hard for me to finish off a book, this year I have managed to read quite a few. The problem is that it is difficult to find a book which keeps me intrigued
  • I have realised my passion for photography is here to stay, and traveling is the key to my happiness and relaxation
  • Explored more around the island thanks to my new SatNav

I have also learned a few lessons:

  • I have learned to love myself and to respect myself, as I am in the end the only constant in my life
  • It is my life, and i won’t let anyone make me feel that I am doing it wrong. My life, my choices… No one knows what’s best for me better than I do
  • Don’t judge people, even if you were in their shoes
  • Complaining and not acting on it gets you nowhere
  • Don’t let anyone use you for their personal gain

Overall, I feel that I managed to confront most of the challenges thrown in my face with positivity and a dash of panic. I think I did well, but I hope that I keep growing into a strong achievement oriented person as years go by 🙂

Thank you to those of you who stood by me, and pissed me off to no end so that I strive to get better and better at what I do.

Enough now, see you soon!

Love,
The 27 28-year old X

Words

Unravel hidden memories…
Disentangle your frustration.
Write down your hopes
as an unencumbered song.

Weave the thoughts
Make them flow nicely
notions will fall into place,
by your magical wand.

The sweetest of words,
the harshest of tones
is what makes us unique,
what makes us all Gods.

———————————————–
//By Steffi ~ 

Of childhood memories and meat

Last night, it was the first time I have ever seen a video which explains how to butcher a pig. The pig was not alive, do not worry, but the butcher explains and shows you how to best cut the pig into great pieces of meat to cook and to make sausage from.

At first, I was skeptic to watch this. Not because I am afraid of blood or disgusted. I like my meat bloody; medium to rare. The problem is, that when I was young, perhaps five years old, I saw my grandfather killing a rabbit. He had his small rabbit farm; he used to breed them, grow them up and then gives them to his family to eat. I still remember the clunk of the rabbit when it hit the wall, and the squeal which came soon after. It is the one of the first few memories I have as a child and to this day, I rarely eat rabbit. And when I do, I feel the guilt as the memories come back. But the rabbit tastes so divine, that at times it is just so hard to resist.

Those who share my love of food, I would recommend you to watch this video and start to appreciate the art of butchery and the best looking pork cuts I have ever seen.