Tag Archives: rant

Things a’changing

There are days, when I question things about my life, and my choices. Today has been one of these forsaken days. Actually, I have been at it since 3AM, but that is beyond my point.

I was thinking about back in 2011, when I had my first Christmas alone, living far away from my family, friends, and on top of that, in another country – How courageous was I, to take such a big leap, leaving everything and everyone behind!

Before then, I have never lived alone, and I had no idea about the kind of responsibility and effort it entails to live and make ends meet at the end of the day, and month when all bills came crawling up. I have done a great job, and learned a lot from this experience.

When I have moved back to Malta, I was not willing to move back with the family, as I enjoyed my independent life too much to let go of it. So much so, that within a year of renting, I purchased my own property.

Although this made sense financially, this has indirectly tied me to this country without even realising at the time. Now that I have settled down in such a “grown up” lifestyle, it seems to me that I have become more self conscious when taking decisions. And I shall give you an example. This week, I was meant to travel, but my plans fell apart, and I have decided to give up the holiday based on two reasons:
1. I should not travel alone at night
2. Accommodation has risen up in price (it also being Christmas holidays, and included NYE), and a last minute purchase would have costed me my entire savings for my holiday.

If I did not have my house to worry about, and if I were not such a wuss, I would be in the UK right now, enjoying cold weather, possibly fog and snow, and beautiful beautiful scenery. How silly am I? Where has all my self confidence gone? What has tarnished my spirit in such a way?

And if you are wondering why I wrote this and why I am sharing this with my readers, it is because I want to be able to read this whenever I need to, so I do not repeat such thing ever again. And also, to try to keep reminding myself that not all my decisions in the past years have been as bad.

Now to try and live life guilt free… and keep moving forward… >>>

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Car-Rant

Are you familiar with those days when you are extremely happy, like so happy, you could die? I have had a good number of those in a row. So much so that they freak me out. I believe that for every action there’s an opposite and equal reaction… Meaning, that for every day I am excessively happy, I have a pile of shit waiting for me around the corner.

Boy was I right.

It all started with a slow puncture. Then, my car key decided to stop working on the driver’s side (it still works on passenger’s door, so I have been able to make due until I figure out where I need to take my car to fix this). Yesterday I woke up feeling poorly, and my allergies so bad that I could barely see from one of my eyes, and it would not stop watering! It also was a rainy day; so much so that I do not recall hearing it stop at all during the day. This morning, since I am being ultra-paranoid about everything, I decided to go check on my car. Slow puncture again, and water inside my car. Lovely. As if that is not enough, I learned that the slow puncture is not due to the tyre’s fault but due to the car’s rim. So, 2 days – 3 mishaps.

If this was not my real-life story, I would laugh so much – I mean, this could turn out to be quite the comedy plot.

Dear God, I hope this is enough for now. I have to figure out how to sort all these things out, on top of being in work 9 hours a day. What makes it worse is that I have no clue on how to even begin! I guess, it would have made things easier if I had a man in my life…. Although the feminist in me wants me to chill and take it one step at a time… at least when it happens again (hopefully not), I’ll know what to do. >_>

PS. Why was I so eager to grow up?

Over-tiredness

For the last 3 weeks, I have AGAIN started to struggle with lack of sleep, and/or waking up at random hours of the night. Sometime between 2 and 3 AM seems to be a regular nowadays (even if I sleep after midnight… ugh!).

My body-clock is broken.

And despite this, I have to wake up 6AM latest during the week because I am in work at 7AM; less traffic and parking stress this way.

I have been trying to find a solution for my restless nights as I am becoming overtired now, and still for some reason, I don’t get a full night of sleep. Seems like I am stressed beyond repair.
– I exercise or go for a walk to get my body tired
– Don’t get all worked up and pissed off at people towards sleep time aka alone & quiet time
– Drink Camomile / Herbal tea – Maybe it is time to quit coffee all over again? (I only drink this in the mornings)
– Read before I sleep
– Listen to relaxing music
– Nice, long, bubbly, warm baths before bed

Seems like that none of this is helping, even if I do a combination of two or more.

The more I think about it, the worse it gets.

I am getting frustrated and annoyed, and I can’t figure out a way forward.

Wish I could switch off my brain and my feelings for a few hours a day… Maybe that would do the trick… But I guess I am not a cyborg (half human half machine), so that cannot happen effortlessly.

Rant done.
Over and out.

Dilemmas

What do you do when there’s an awkward silence?
When you run out of things to say…?
How do you come up with another fun topic… without being too obvious?

I don’t want to talk about the weather, or what I am currently up to.
I utterly hate small talk.

Seriously, if I am up to something, I wouldn’t really be online, chatting. (Unless you are special or close enough to me, that you’d trump TV Series, my walks, my outings etc.)

But, what I hate most is, when I am thinking, “oh finally a conversation with more than just a hello, how are you and what’s up” and then the person tells me they have to go because they are bored. Wow. Seriously?
Thank you for taking your time to write that message to me before you leave. You could have come up with a better excuse.

smalltalk.png

Thank you for making my life easier.
I know who I won’t be speaking to tomorrow.

Relationship Status: Single

– This is merely an observation, as per my experiences using social media. –

I have realised, that as soon as my Facebook relationship status turns to single, something magical happens. It is like a world wide silent notification is passed through every single men’s head (sometimes even to those not so single!); not just the males I know, but even random ones who I have no friends in common with.

relstat.png

What is it with men, talking to you just when you  you are single? Let me rephrase that.

What is it with men, talking to you when they think you are single?

It is almost like Facebook is the source of all that is truthful; the HOLY GRAIL!

Is it true, that men and women can’t be friends? That, the only reason they talk to another is because one of them is chasing the other? That, it is never the case that they are both just genuinely friends, with no strings attached?

If your answer to the above is nope, then why do most men leave you be and not talk to you any longer when they find out you are not eligible, have no interest or are not emotionally available?

 

Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant of the day.

Quality over quantity, always.
Be it material things or matters of the heart…

When I cannot think, that things can sink any lower, here I am getting disappointed again.

No, this is not another complaint about my love life, because this is not the case. I assure you!
This is about the so called friends.

As if it is not difficult enough to meet good, loyal, trustworthy people… I mean, I would know… I am not a very sociable person, in fact I would rather be around a few people than a group of loud beings. I have always preferred having a best friend rather than a lot of friends. I am the kind of person, who would rather have one person to count on, than many who don’t.

Every now and then, I try to organise a get together, to see some friends that I haven’t seen in a while. It is difficult to find a time and a day when everyone can join, and we always end up compromising, either regarding who should attend or the location, or the budget. I guess, that is okay, as long as things work out. What sucks is, that you put your heart in it, and since it is agreed upon several weeks before, there is always some sort of expectation for it. Then things get cancelled, and you are back to square one.

Is this normal, or do these things happen to just me?
When the only person who tries to solve things is yourself, is it the beginning of the end? Should I call it quits, before they quit me?

Sometimes you have to give up on people
not because you don’t care,
but because they don’t.

Can’t stand them Copy Cats!

First of all, I would like to apologise for being quiet all week, but it has been a very stressful week with work, with all the bad news (David Bowie, Alan Rickman), and I tried to stay away from social media as much as possible. In fact, I have been only active on instagram which you can have a look at and follow here: SteffiWorld 🙂

Anyway, onto my rant now…

Lately I have been realising that a certain someone has been copying my doings online, and note acknowledging me or even bothering to say they like it, before they do their twist of my posts. Sure, it is lovely to inspire people, but it sucks when people copy you straight up as if it was their own thing.

I know that who reads this, will quite possibly not understand my frustration and simply utter the words “welcome to the Internet! Nothing you do online is yours.” But why is it so difficult for people to admit inspiration, why can’t they ask for permission if they are not capable with coming up with their own ideas?

instacopycat

In the end, I actually feel sorry for them, because once their followers figure out what they’re doing, they shall hit rock bottom and lose all their recognition and popularity. What goes round comes around missy, you will pay in the end! Ha ha ha.

People.

I know, the title of this blog post is a little bit out there and a little bit generic, but today, I am in the mood of writing what’s on my mind and that’s about it. This won’t be the most structured post you will read from my end, but it will contain some raw thoughts coming up straight from my brain onto paper.

Why are some people so hard to figure out?

I’m all up for challenges, as I am not one who likes things easy in life (might be because I always work hard to get what I want, and I was never spoon fed), but sometimes you just want things to go your way without a single word or disagreement.

It bothers me when people behave around me (in private) one way… being all funny and goofy and sweet and loyal…. and then in public they are a totally different person. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that they feel comfortable enough around me and trust me enough to show me their soft side, but why all the changes? Why do you have to turn into a cold / inconsiderate / macho beast when with friends?

Is this normal, or is this because one of their personalities is fake, just to lure people in their life?

As if life is a popularity contest.

I know that as a person, I behave different with different people, but mainly because some of my acquaintances do not appreciate certain qualities I have and I’d rather not create chaos and go with the flow. But with people I know, love or consider as friends… I’d be truly myself…. and if you can’t deal with that… it’s your loss.

Thoughts?

Bikers in Traffic

I love bikes; I think they are gorgeous and I admire each and every one of the bikers who pluck up the courage to drive in Malta and Gozo.

In case you have never visited Malta, or never driven in Malta… Maltese roads are hell to drive in… Not even the devil himself dares to set his foot here and drive in this pit of danger and death. Angry, irrational drivers, chaos of traffic and to top it all shitty bumpy roads throughout the islands. (Sometimes I wonder why we pay the driving license to be honest!!)

Considering all the above, would it make more sense, to have some kind of rule/law enforced with regards to which side of the motor-lane a bike should drive in? Should bikes overtake or undertake? I’m thinking that this would help everyone on the road, as all car-drivers can pay some special added attention to that side of the road via the mirrors, and hopefully the bikers will also feel slightly safer on our roads… Especially during the peak hours of traffic, namely 7 to 9 am and 5 to 6 pm, when everyone wants to get to work/home and all the main roads are packed and crammed with cars. Zigzagging around cars is not the way to go in these circumstances.

Power-Loss

Date of entry 06/08/2015 circa 18:00hrs

The joy of being an aspiring writer or a blogger, is to enjoy scribbling no matter what the situation is.
So here I am writing… during a nation wide power cut, trying to make the most of it.

While I was driving, from my place of work in Ta’ Xbiex all the way to Siggiewi, I was thinking to myself…. I will explain better; I drove through Ta’ Xbiex, Msida, Pieta, Blata l-Bajda, Hamrun…. through which, none of the traffic lights were working. All the cars were driving aimlessly towards one another like it is no one’s business to make it across to the other side of the road. I saw cars becoming a version of a roundabout, and people crossing the busy roads between 17:00 and 18:00 frantically, as if life or death did not matter to them at all.

With this in mind, here are my proposals:

  1. Arterial Traffic Lights should be connected to not just one electricity grid; Meaning, if one electricity source fails, they would not collapse, but use a second source, be it from Delimara Power Station, the Malta-Italy Interconnector and so on.
  2. Invest in Solar Powered Traffic Lights – We boast that we have 300 days of sunshine a year in Malta… why are we not taking advantage of this? I have read that we have a fair amount of solar powered road lights, so why not traffic lights? I am sure that this will help keep these little islands of ours in order during power cuts and more!

solar traffic light