Tag Archives: male

Friendzone Galore

So, we have all heard about the infamous friendzone…

Women are rather experts in this, and men are up there all the time. I suppose it is the worst place to be for most men, and women are at ease because they have yet another platonic friend to talk to and spend time with.

In reality, even if men do not admit this, it is a struggle for them to be just friends with someone who they find attractive. Research most often than not says that men cannot be friends with someone they fancy. I guess my male readers can give their HONEST opinion about this. 🙂

I am the kind of girl, that when I meet a man, I figure out my intentions quickly. Whether the feeling is reciprocated or not; that is another thing… but to this date, I have never dated any of my best or closest male friends which in my eyes are my brothers. Having said that, I know a few rare occasions where a girlfriend of mine has fallen for her best friend.

silence

Tips on avoiding the friendzone:

  1. Always make your intentions clear
    Okay, I do not mean that when you mean someone you like, you just tell them “I want you to be my girlfriend”; but… if you like someone, although you do your best to get to know them, you would also flirt to test the waters. If the girl flirts back, then this is an indication that she likes you, there’s potentially an opportunity for you to be more than just friends.  Do not become her doormat, we do not feel sexually attracted to these kind of men. Make the girl blush, compliment her!
  2. Ask her out ASAP!
    As much as it makes sense for you to get to know your potential date and partner, do not wait weeks, or worse months to do something about it. Some girls do not like playing games, especially those who are mature and are interested in serious relationships. They’d give you some time, but the chances are that other opportunities arise, and in that case if another guy asks before you, she will say yes and forget all about you.
  3. Don’t talk to her when she is with her friends
    If she invites you to spend time with her and her friends, it is most likely not because she wants to introduce you to her group of friends as her someone special, but because you are friendzoned. Avoid these occasions until after you start dating. Spending alone time with her, gives you more opportunities to show your interest and intentions. If she avoids being alone with you like the plague, this means that she knows what you are trying to do, and she is trying to spur your the embarrassment.
  4. Don’t let her vent and complain with you about other guys
    This is probably the most obvious indication that the woman in your life is going to friendzone you. It is not your job to listen to her problems with men; she has her girlfriends for this. This is in no way intimacy, and remember – we do not live in a fairy-tale world where a girl will suddenly realise she has been dating assholes and that her one love is you.
  5. Don’t be afraid of rejection
    The idea of being rejected is terrifying for both genders. It is most likely that a friendship cannot be leveraged into romance. You are better off being rejected while you are getting to know each other, rather than after you spent so much time together. A rejection at the very beginning could be turned into friendship, but a rejection once your are friendzoned is very awkward, and the probability is that you stop talking to each other altogether. On top of that, think about all that time and effort and possibly money wasted on someone who is not interested in you.
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Relationship Status: Single

– This is merely an observation, as per my experiences using social media. –

I have realised, that as soon as my Facebook relationship status turns to single, something magical happens. It is like a world wide silent notification is passed through every single men’s head (sometimes even to those not so single!); not just the males I know, but even random ones who I have no friends in common with.

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What is it with men, talking to you just when you  you are single? Let me rephrase that.

What is it with men, talking to you when they think you are single?

It is almost like Facebook is the source of all that is truthful; the HOLY GRAIL!

Is it true, that men and women can’t be friends? That, the only reason they talk to another is because one of them is chasing the other? That, it is never the case that they are both just genuinely friends, with no strings attached?

If your answer to the above is nope, then why do most men leave you be and not talk to you any longer when they find out you are not eligible, have no interest or are not emotionally available?

 

No, it is not OK…

Imagine you are casually walking by the seashore on a Summery Saturday afternoon, minding your own business; sunglasses on, hat on due to the excessive sunlight. As you are peacefully gazing the view in front of you, taking it all in, just a few minutes before you are due to go into work, this group of Maltese males pass by.

Being all ignorant and dense, they’d start talking about you in Maltese (not even whisper, no!), assuming that you are this dumb tourist who wouldn’t get a word they are saying. Comments would start off with nice dress, to what they would do to you if they had the chance, and what the hell am I doing being outdoors all by myself “looking like that”.

Needless to say, I stayed there listening, boiling mad with every statement they say to each other. When it looked like they have said enough, I turned around, smiled and asked them “xi haga ohra?”. For my non-Maltese readers, this would translate to “Anything else?”

Well, that DID shut them up, but this doesn’t explain how rude and respect-less they are to women. I mean, these guys thought they’d get away with it, because I could not understand them… but doesn’t that make it even worse? It is because of situations like these, that I feel like I lost hope in humans, in men…
If it was I who said such statements about guys, that would have made me a slut, but it is somehow cool for men to say these things… Double standards much?

Either way, it is disrespectful and equality on this subject wouldn’t make things fine. Objectifying people is always wrong unless done with consent from all the people involved.

 

Where have the eligible bachelors gone?

I am quite a sociable person, and I get introduced to a considerable amount of people of the male gender; some face to face, others over the internet. I must say that the amount of interesting guys is decreasing time and again. I guess this issue is not just with the guys, but also with the gals.

As a person, even though I need to find the guy attractive physically, I think that what is the most important for me is intelligence. Yes I am a Sapiosexual. I love a guy who can talk on various subjects, who can hold a conversation; someone who I can learn a thing or two from. This on top of a guy being fun and funny, and who can make me laugh about the silliest of things, yet he can be mature when the situation requires it. I hate it when I have to mother a guy… I’m looking for a partner in crime. A guy who can live in the moment but can think about the future.
(Then comes the obvious ‘honest, loyal, truthful..’ characteristics, but that’s a given)

know what I want.
Thing is, how many guys out there know what they want?
And out of those, how many would meet my basic requirements?
I wonder… Am I asking for too much?

It’s not like I am asking for a top model millionaire who owns Bran Castle, a beach house and a cabin by the lake in the middle of nowhere.

Thoughts on Genders

Some people wonder, why I enjoy spending time more with the male gender rather than with the female gender. Today, I will try to explain this, and please note that whatever I write here, it is not always the case for men and women.

Most of the girls I meet, are very dramatic, and girly. I do not find anything in common with them and their idea of a perfect way of spending the day… Shopping and trying out clothes and then, buying nothing… because their tummy is too fat, or their boobs are saggy. Whenever I go shopping (which is rare, since I mostly shop online), I know what I want, I find it, try it, purchase it; end of story. Women are never straight to the point, and most often then not cannot decide on anything. I find this stressful, and annoying. Especially when all the complains are on things which don’t matter, like ‘I just straightened my hair but now it’s raining, and it’s gonna be a mess’… blah blah blah. Why do I have to hear about this? I am not Jesus, and I can’t make the rain stop. Just deal with it.

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Men, are the other way round – straight to the point and the good ones are truthful and loyal; though rare. You always know where you are with them, there’s not many mind games going on. Unless, they fall for you. Because then, most turn into a woman, instead of manning up and tell you what they’re feeling (or make them stop, if they dislike it).

For instance, if I look bad in a dress, it’s more likely that a guy would come to me and say it, rather than a woman. Because, that’s how they are made. Women would try and compliment you on the good parts of it, rather than letting you know it doesn’t suit you (or talk about you with their friends). Men would behave like women in this case, when they want to get laid, or they like you too much.