Tag Archives: husband

Bad Relationships: How And Why You Should Get Out Of Them

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Far too many people stay in bad relationships that end up affecting their mental health and ruining their chances in life. If you’re in one of those relationships at the moment; it is essential that you do something about it as soon as possible. Lots of women feel like they’re stuck, and so the information on this page should come in handy. The article explains why you need to get out of the relationship, and it also offers some advice on the methods and strategies you might like to consider. With that in mind, let’s get started!

Why you need to get out of your bad relationship

Confidence

People in adverse or negative relationships will always suffer a lack of confidence that can affect their lives in many different ways. You might never apply for that dream job, and you might never fulfill your ambitions of launching a company or volunteering and traveling the world.

Happiness

As mentioned a moment ago, bad relationships can affect your mental health and leave you feeling depressed or anxious. Unless you want to visit a therapist every week and take medication for the rest of your life; it is imperative that you remove yourself from the situation as soon as possible.

Opportunities

Being in a bad relationship can mean you never take up the opportunities available because you worry about their effect on your partner. That can mean you miss out on a lot of things that could change your life for the better.

How you should get out of your bad relationship

Stay with friends

You might feel like there is no hope and nowhere to go. However, most of us have understanding friends who will help out when we need them most. So, maybe you could go and stay with someone you know for a few weeks to get your head straight?

Accept a new job

Getting yourself out of your routine and putting yourself in a position to meet lots of new people is always a sensible move. Maybe you could accept a new job in a different city or something similar? Use that as an excuse to end the relationship and start over.

Get a divorce

If you made the mistake of marrying the wrong person; things could become a little more complicated. However, you just need to speak to a divorce lawyer and ask for their assistance. With a bit of luck, you can start the ball rolling in a matter of days, and you are sure to feel better straight away.

Now you know how and why you need to get out of your bad relationship; you should feel a little more confident in creating your plan of action. It could be good if you could sit down with the person, explain your problems, and iron them out. However, that isn’t always possible, and so sometimes you have to put yourself first. Whatever happens, ensure you make improvements in your life and avoid getting into relationships with the wrong people in the future.  

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Your wishes, My dreams

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I see you looking at me
With those big brown eyes
From which I can view everything:
Your longings, desires,
Your wishes –

You make my heart
race,
You make me grasp
for air.
You are my reason,
for all that is good.

Your desires, are my goals.
Your longings, are mine too.
Your wishes will come true,
Let’s work on them together;
Two hearts, beating as one.

What we have between us
is what I have been searching for;
for years, I dreamt about this
moment, about having it all.
Your love is the answer.

You are my real-life dream.
I want your love. I long –
for your presence in my life.
I desire your body, your soul;
my heart you stole.

______________________________________________
Steffi 2018.03.28

5 Simple Ways to Wow Your Wedding Guests

You’d like to think that simply looking your stunning best will be enough to make your wedding guests say ‘wow,’ and it will! But it’s also true that every bride looks amazing on their special day. If you want to make yours stand out from the crowd, then you’ll want to go the extra mile to make it memorable. Below, we take a look at five ways you can make your guests feel the love – and have a day they’ll always remember.

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Pick a Unique Venue

You could pick a venue that’s close to where you live, but where’s the fun in that? There are a million and one unique, beautiful venues across Europe, and with inexpensive flights available to and from many countries, it’s not that much of a hassle to ask your friends and family to travel overseas. If you’re not of an overly traditional bent, then you might want to consider getting married away from the church. A beautiful ceremony set among lush woodlands, with fairy lights making the space look extra magical, for example, is guaranteed to impress your guests.

Make a Strong First Impression

Of course, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to wow your wedding guests before they reach the ceremony. You can make a strong first impression by investing in beautiful wedding invitations, and by asking your guests to RSVP with added details – such as a song they’d like to hear at the wedding party. You may even ‘wow’ your guests by simply asking that they don’t bring anything other than themselves – that means no gifts – to the wedding, which is a touching detail if the ceremony is taking place overseas. Get creative with your invites, and you’ll have people keenly anticipating the fun days to come!

Riding in Style

The ceremony and the party rarely take place at the same place, so how are your guests going to get from one place to the other? Normally, this will involve a series of taxis, but there’s not going to be anything normal about your wedding! Instead, put on some funky transport, such as a themed party coach, or limos, or – if it’s not too far – a series of horse carriages for everyone. It’ll be much more exciting than having everyone patiently queuing for the next series of taxis to turn up.

Extra Touches

You’re going to have people from all walks of life attending your wedding; relatives, old friends, work colleagues, and so on, and they’re not all going to know one another. So why not help them up by adding a “who’s who” to the seating plan? You can show everyone how they know each other through six degrees of separation. It’s a great way to move past small talk and onto the fun times!

And Relax

You’ve got a dance-floor; how about a place to relax? Some people don’t want to dance all night but do want to be involved. Create a space that allows them to be involved and also unwind. They’ll love you for it.

Stuck For Words: Supporting A Grieving Friend

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The loss of a loved one is one of the hardest things we go through as human beings. You can’t fathom the depth of pain and sadness without experiencing it firsthand. It’s also difficult watching a friend go through a bereavement. It’s natural to feel helpless and to worry about saying the wrong thing. You can’t bring their loved one back, but you can help them through the pain.

Stay In Touch

The important thing is to stay in touch. You may not know what to say, but don’t let that stop you from being present. Your friend is likely to feel hurt if you avoid her. Be honest and explain that you have no words. Tell her that you’re so sorry and that you’re there for her in any way she needs. Take a little token of your friendship, such as flowers or chocolate. This is not to make things better. It’s to show you care.

Don’t Be Afraid Of Tears

Your friend may cry, and that may be painful to watch. But tears are important. They are a way of releasing the painful feelings. Don’t run away and don’t try to make her stop. There are few greater acts of friendship than holding someone else’s pain.

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Practical Things

When someone dies, there are lots of practical things that need to be done. People need to be notified, and funeral preparations need to be made. Often this is overwhelming. Find out if there’s anything you can do to help. It may be little things like making phone calls. Or your friend may need help with sympathy and funeral flowers.

Sometimes asking what the person needs isn’t helpful. They may be inundated with offers and not know what to say. Therefore, suggesting ways in which you could help is an option. Food is always a good place to start. Even at the most difficult times we still need to eat. People will be visiting, and food may need to be provided. Preparing some meals is likely to be welcome.

Avoid Cliches

In difficult situations, it’s easy to reach for cliches. However, where grief is concerned, they are not always well received. If you have just lost someone you care about deeply, you don’t want to hear that they are in a better place. Or, that God only sends you things you can deal with. This is likely to provoke sadness and even anger. Keep it simple. Be honest and truthful. It’s better to acknowledge you don’t know what to say, rather than reaching for a cliche.

Don’t Tell Them What To Do

Everyone grieves differently. There is no right or wrong way of navigating bereavement. Everyone must find their own process. So don’t tell your friend she’s doing it wrong. Don’t tell her the ‘right way’ to do it. Let her experience this for herself and steer her own course.

Like grieving, there’s no right or wrong way to be there for someone. First and foremost, show up. Be honest if you don’t know what to say. Try to be helpful. And then take your cue from your friend. Listen to her and be there, in whatever way she needs you to be.

I Miss You

As a person who thinks a lot, my mind dwells… Especially in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep… How awful is that? 😉

Well last night, I made a ground-breaking discovery; It might be nothing unusual for some, but in my case it helps me understand myself and others around me better.

When someone says I miss you, how often is it meaningful, and how often is it just a conversation filler? These words are so often overused, that they tend to lose their meaning just like when you say I love you every five minutes. It has become such a habit for people to say it, that you just never know when it is truthful or not. Besides, what are you supposed to say when someone says this to you? Oh yeah… I miss you too.

I have also realised, that there are two kinds of “I miss you”

  • There’s the I miss you when I am bored and lonely
    So basically, this is when you are bored in work, or at home and have nothing better to do. So you would miss certain people in your life. Perhaps a good friend or someone important to you.
  • There’s the I miss you when I am busy and having lots of fun
    The nicest kind of I miss you, as you are thinking of certain people while you are having a blast – You are having such a lovely time, yet you feel something is missing and you wish that person is there to enjoy it with you. True affection, need I say more?

I have never been the kind of person who overuses such phrases.

I am a romantic, I love literature, I think I am passionate and quite an emotional person with the right people.my

This in mind;
I make sure that when I say these words, I mean them.
When I say these words, I am genuine.
And I do not expect a mutual agreement.
Because… you should say such words not to seek attention, but because that is how you feel.

Should we stop asking questions?

Should we stop asking questions, and accept our fate?
Should we just give up on things being how we want them to be?
Should we stop worrying… take life as it comes?
Should we stop dreaming?
Should stop challenging ourselves?
Should we not aim for the stars?

I will never stop questioning things, I will never stop learning things, I will never be okay with where I stand. For if I do, then what’s next? I’d be stuck for eternity doing the same things, living the same life.

Questions will help you grow.

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I want to see the world, experience new adventures and new cultures.
I want to be more than just Steffi who works in IT.
I do not want my job to define me, and I don’t want my life to be linear.
I want to evolve, become a better person of myself.
I want my life to be exciting, hopeful and achievement driven.

I want be satisfied; I am content with what I have, but to me contentment is knowing that there will always be something new to discover and that boredom will never be a threat.

The Art of Jealousy

Some, argue that jealousy in small doses is good for a relationship or a friendship to grow. I certainly disagree, and I do so from previous experiences.

It is true, that when your partner is jealous of you, (s)he would give you moreattention. But this kind of attention, is not necessarily the good kind of Jealous-muchattention that you are seeking for. Jealousy is more often than not derived from lack of trust and various self-insecurities (Maybe because of previous life experiences or trauma? Psychological issues?). It will urge you to be possessive, be suspicious and in the long run threaten your relationship.

If you can’t trust your partner, why are you with them in the first place?
Issues related to jealousy and trust, will eat you from the inside. You’d become paranoid, with a feeling of abandonment… No relationship with these symptoms can end well.

It is a known fact that leading cause of spousal homicides are related to jealousy. 

On the other hand, your partner will feel badgered and frustrated because (s)he is not being trusted. All the mundane and constant questioning is tiring;
What are you doing?
Where are you?
Where are you going?
Who you’re going with?
These questions are demoralising, leaving the person without any personal space and feeling guilty.

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It is okay that your partner wants some space, to do some things (s)he enjoys doing alone.
You can agree on an evening a week to spend apart, play that game you wanted to play, catch up with friends or go clothes shopping. I believe, it is important to have a life outside your relationship.

My advise:
1. Put yourself into his or her shoes – how would you feel if this jealousy issue was the other way round? Does your friend / partner deserve this?
2. Communicate your feelings constructively and without blaming the other person

Where have the eligible bachelors gone?

I am quite a sociable person, and I get introduced to a considerable amount of people of the male gender; some face to face, others over the internet. I must say that the amount of interesting guys is decreasing time and again. I guess this issue is not just with the guys, but also with the gals.

As a person, even though I need to find the guy attractive physically, I think that what is the most important for me is intelligence. Yes I am a Sapiosexual. I love a guy who can talk on various subjects, who can hold a conversation; someone who I can learn a thing or two from. This on top of a guy being fun and funny, and who can make me laugh about the silliest of things, yet he can be mature when the situation requires it. I hate it when I have to mother a guy… I’m looking for a partner in crime. A guy who can live in the moment but can think about the future.
(Then comes the obvious ‘honest, loyal, truthful..’ characteristics, but that’s a given)

know what I want.
Thing is, how many guys out there know what they want?
And out of those, how many would meet my basic requirements?
I wonder… Am I asking for too much?

It’s not like I am asking for a top model millionaire who owns Bran Castle, a beach house and a cabin by the lake in the middle of nowhere.

The Loft (Movie Review & Quotes)

Yesterday I decided to have a relaxing evening after going out two nights in a row and spending the day in Valletta. I have made bruschetta for the first time which turned out delicious… (I will be making it again!)

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One glass of wine later, I decided to watch a movie which I’ve been wanting to watch for a while. It goes by the name of ‘The Loft’ and it’s considered to be in the thriller genre. Although I was not disappointed by this movie itself, I must say that I was not amused either. The story was quite original, in the sense that five married guys bought a penthouse to take all their mistresses and fuck buddies there, rather than getting caught or seen in hotel rooms. The only agreement they had between each other is that they’d tell the rest when they are occupying the apartment. 5 keys; one per each guy, and one dead body later…. The twist in the plot was quite interesting, but after seeing so many movies of this genre, it was quite obvious that the most perverted one out of the suspects has done it. And so was the case.

What left an impact on me was a quote from this very movie:

“The people you love, are the only ones who can hurt you.”

How true is that?

How easier would life be if we never get hurt?

But, how worthwhile would it be, in the expense of never feeling love and all its emotions ever again?