Tag Archives: wife

Farewell, Lukas Podolski

I do not write about football or footballers much, but I am an avid fan of the German national team since the age of 15. That is almost half my life now! Last night was a sad night, as it was Lukas Podolski’s last international game.

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Lukas Podolski cheering after scoring his last goal in his final International Game. What a star!

Born on the 4th of June, 1985, Lukas will be 32 this year. Although he was born in Poland, he has German nationality, which allowed him to play for the German national team.  As a youth, he started off his career in Cologne. He later on joined Bayern Munich, then returned to his home town in Cologne. In 2012 he signed with Arsenal for a fee of £11,000,000. This is the club, together with Cologne in which he shined the most. Currently he is still playing with Galatasaray, a turkish football club, with a salary of around £2,500,000 each year.

He was capped by the German National team in 2004, and since then he became the third most capped player in Germany history, with 130 caps, and also the third highest goalscorer in German history, with 49 goals. In 2013, Podolski scored the fastest goal in German history; he scored after only 9 seconds in a friendly game against Ecuador.

After the Euro Cup 2016, Podolski announced his retirement from international football in order to focus on his family life. He married Monika Puchalski in 2011, and together they have a son, aged 8 (born 2008).

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I have watched Podolski’s career closely with the national team and he has been one of my favourite players. Last night’s win against England would not have happened if it wasn’t for his unbelievable winning goal. What a tribute, and a great way to finish his career with the German team!

Watch the goal here:

Watch his top 10 goals below:

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Stuck For Words: Supporting A Grieving Friend

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The loss of a loved one is one of the hardest things we go through as human beings. You can’t fathom the depth of pain and sadness without experiencing it firsthand. It’s also difficult watching a friend go through a bereavement. It’s natural to feel helpless and to worry about saying the wrong thing. You can’t bring their loved one back, but you can help them through the pain.

Stay In Touch

The important thing is to stay in touch. You may not know what to say, but don’t let that stop you from being present. Your friend is likely to feel hurt if you avoid her. Be honest and explain that you have no words. Tell her that you’re so sorry and that you’re there for her in any way she needs. Take a little token of your friendship, such as flowers or chocolate. This is not to make things better. It’s to show you care.

Don’t Be Afraid Of Tears

Your friend may cry, and that may be painful to watch. But tears are important. They are a way of releasing the painful feelings. Don’t run away and don’t try to make her stop. There are few greater acts of friendship than holding someone else’s pain.

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Practical Things

When someone dies, there are lots of practical things that need to be done. People need to be notified, and funeral preparations need to be made. Often this is overwhelming. Find out if there’s anything you can do to help. It may be little things like making phone calls. Or your friend may need help with sympathy and funeral flowers.

Sometimes asking what the person needs isn’t helpful. They may be inundated with offers and not know what to say. Therefore, suggesting ways in which you could help is an option. Food is always a good place to start. Even at the most difficult times we still need to eat. People will be visiting, and food may need to be provided. Preparing some meals is likely to be welcome.

Avoid Cliches

In difficult situations, it’s easy to reach for cliches. However, where grief is concerned, they are not always well received. If you have just lost someone you care about deeply, you don’t want to hear that they are in a better place. Or, that God only sends you things you can deal with. This is likely to provoke sadness and even anger. Keep it simple. Be honest and truthful. It’s better to acknowledge you don’t know what to say, rather than reaching for a cliche.

Don’t Tell Them What To Do

Everyone grieves differently. There is no right or wrong way of navigating bereavement. Everyone must find their own process. So don’t tell your friend she’s doing it wrong. Don’t tell her the ‘right way’ to do it. Let her experience this for herself and steer her own course.

Like grieving, there’s no right or wrong way to be there for someone. First and foremost, show up. Be honest if you don’t know what to say. Try to be helpful. And then take your cue from your friend. Listen to her and be there, in whatever way she needs you to be.

I Miss You

As a person who thinks a lot, my mind dwells… Especially in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep… How awful is that? 😉

Well last night, I made a ground-breaking discovery; It might be nothing unusual for some, but in my case it helps me understand myself and others around me better.

When someone says I miss you, how often is it meaningful, and how often is it just a conversation filler? These words are so often overused, that they tend to lose their meaning just like when you say I love you every five minutes. It has become such a habit for people to say it, that you just never know when it is truthful or not. Besides, what are you supposed to say when someone says this to you? Oh yeah… I miss you too.

I have also realised, that there are two kinds of “I miss you”

  • There’s the I miss you when I am bored and lonely
    So basically, this is when you are bored in work, or at home and have nothing better to do. So you would miss certain people in your life. Perhaps a good friend or someone important to you.
  • There’s the I miss you when I am busy and having lots of fun
    The nicest kind of I miss you, as you are thinking of certain people while you are having a blast – You are having such a lovely time, yet you feel something is missing and you wish that person is there to enjoy it with you. True affection, need I say more?

I have never been the kind of person who overuses such phrases.

I am a romantic, I love literature, I think I am passionate and quite an emotional person with the right people.my

This in mind;
I make sure that when I say these words, I mean them.
When I say these words, I am genuine.
And I do not expect a mutual agreement.
Because… you should say such words not to seek attention, but because that is how you feel.

Should we stop asking questions?

Should we stop asking questions, and accept our fate?
Should we just give up on things being how we want them to be?
Should we stop worrying… take life as it comes?
Should we stop dreaming?
Should stop challenging ourselves?
Should we not aim for the stars?

I will never stop questioning things, I will never stop learning things, I will never be okay with where I stand. For if I do, then what’s next? I’d be stuck for eternity doing the same things, living the same life.

Questions will help you grow.

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I want to see the world, experience new adventures and new cultures.
I want to be more than just Steffi who works in IT.
I do not want my job to define me, and I don’t want my life to be linear.
I want to evolve, become a better person of myself.
I want my life to be exciting, hopeful and achievement driven.

I want be satisfied; I am content with what I have, but to me contentment is knowing that there will always be something new to discover and that boredom will never be a threat.

The Art of Jealousy

Some, argue that jealousy in small doses is good for a relationship or a friendship to grow. I certainly disagree, and I do so from previous experiences.

It is true, that when your partner is jealous of you, (s)he would give you moreattention. But this kind of attention, is not necessarily the good kind of Jealous-muchattention that you are seeking for. Jealousy is more often than not derived from lack of trust and various self-insecurities (Maybe because of previous life experiences or trauma? Psychological issues?). It will urge you to be possessive, be suspicious and in the long run threaten your relationship.

If you can’t trust your partner, why are you with them in the first place?
Issues related to jealousy and trust, will eat you from the inside. You’d become paranoid, with a feeling of abandonment… No relationship with these symptoms can end well.

It is a known fact that leading cause of spousal homicides are related to jealousy. 

On the other hand, your partner will feel badgered and frustrated because (s)he is not being trusted. All the mundane and constant questioning is tiring;
What are you doing?
Where are you?
Where are you going?
Who you’re going with?
These questions are demoralising, leaving the person without any personal space and feeling guilty.

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It is okay that your partner wants some space, to do some things (s)he enjoys doing alone.
You can agree on an evening a week to spend apart, play that game you wanted to play, catch up with friends or go clothes shopping. I believe, it is important to have a life outside your relationship.

My advise:
1. Put yourself into his or her shoes – how would you feel if this jealousy issue was the other way round? Does your friend / partner deserve this?
2. Communicate your feelings constructively and without blaming the other person

The Loft (Movie Review & Quotes)

Yesterday I decided to have a relaxing evening after going out two nights in a row and spending the day in Valletta. I have made bruschetta for the first time which turned out delicious… (I will be making it again!)

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One glass of wine later, I decided to watch a movie which I’ve been wanting to watch for a while. It goes by the name of ‘The Loft’ and it’s considered to be in the thriller genre. Although I was not disappointed by this movie itself, I must say that I was not amused either. The story was quite original, in the sense that five married guys bought a penthouse to take all their mistresses and fuck buddies there, rather than getting caught or seen in hotel rooms. The only agreement they had between each other is that they’d tell the rest when they are occupying the apartment. 5 keys; one per each guy, and one dead body later…. The twist in the plot was quite interesting, but after seeing so many movies of this genre, it was quite obvious that the most perverted one out of the suspects has done it. And so was the case.

What left an impact on me was a quote from this very movie:

“The people you love, are the only ones who can hurt you.”

How true is that?

How easier would life be if we never get hurt?

But, how worthwhile would it be, in the expense of never feeling love and all its emotions ever again?