So, we have all heard about the infamous friendzone…
Women are rather experts in this, and men are up there all the time. I suppose it is the worst place to be for most men, and women are at ease because they have yet another platonic friend to talk to and spend time with.
In reality, even if men do not admit this, it is a struggle for them to be just friends with someone who they find attractive. Research most often than not says that men cannot be friends with someone they fancy. I guess my male readers can give their HONEST opinion about this. 🙂
I am the kind of girl, that when I meet a man, I figure out my intentions quickly. Whether the feeling is reciprocated or not; that is another thing… but to this date, I have never dated any of my best or closest male friends which in my eyes are my brothers. Having said that, I know a few rare occasions where a girlfriend of mine has fallen for her best friend.
Tips on avoiding the friendzone:
- Always make your intentions clear
Okay, I do not mean that when you mean someone you like, you just tell them “I want you to be my girlfriend”; but… if you like someone, although you do your best to get to know them, you would also flirt to test the waters. If the girl flirts back, then this is an indication that she likes you, there’s potentially an opportunity for you to be more than just friends. Do not become her doormat, we do not feel sexually attracted to these kind of men. Make the girl blush, compliment her! - Ask her out ASAP!
As much as it makes sense for you to get to know your potential date and partner, do not wait weeks, or worse months to do something about it. Some girls do not like playing games, especially those who are mature and are interested in serious relationships. They’d give you some time, but the chances are that other opportunities arise, and in that case if another guy asks before you, she will say yes and forget all about you. - Don’t talk to her when she is with her friends
If she invites you to spend time with her and her friends, it is most likely not because she wants to introduce you to her group of friends as her someone special, but because you are friendzoned. Avoid these occasions until after you start dating. Spending alone time with her, gives you more opportunities to show your interest and intentions. If she avoids being alone with you like the plague, this means that she knows what you are trying to do, and she is trying to spur your the embarrassment. - Don’t let her vent and complain with you about other guys
This is probably the most obvious indication that the woman in your life is going to friendzone you. It is not your job to listen to her problems with men; she has her girlfriends for this. This is in no way intimacy, and remember – we do not live in a fairy-tale world where a girl will suddenly realise she has been dating assholes and that her one love is you. - Don’t be afraid of rejection
The idea of being rejected is terrifying for both genders. It is most likely that a friendship cannot be leveraged into romance. You are better off being rejected while you are getting to know each other, rather than after you spent so much time together. A rejection at the very beginning could be turned into friendship, but a rejection once your are friendzoned is very awkward, and the probability is that you stop talking to each other altogether. On top of that, think about all that time and effort and possibly money wasted on someone who is not interested in you.
Steffi Says... 
Aye aye girl – you got that one spot on ! This, this made me literally laugh out loud chica. You owe me a mug of damn fine tea, you made me spill mine. Or even better, an ale, damn you!
As you well know, a coupla months ago I finally drew the line on a total abysmal disaster of a relationship. All lines cut, bridges burnt. The way I like it.
And although at the moment I am concentrating on shoring up my work and future career prospects, as well as concentrating on the MBA I’ve been idiotic enough to start (as if I ain’t got enough on my plate…), perforce I am forced to mingle within the single scene when I bother to.
And what can I say? It’s damn hilarious.
You’ve hit the friendzone part real smooth. But there’s way more! I’ve noticed these two months there’s actually a systematic ecosystem going on there hah!
Put plainly, you’ve got three broad categories of guys.
The most common one, is the look but do jackshit crowd. You see them on the sideline, looking at a girl they do like, hoping to catch her attention – and once they do, they start drinking up to bolster their bravado (dutch courage eyyy).
A coupla hours laters they’re as drunk as lords in a royal banquet, and either vomiting on the girl, or she’s taken one look at him shambling like an extra of The Walking Dead towards her and she’s gone and done a David Copperfield *poof – dissapeared!*
Then, you’ve got the macho side. The aggressive, win or bust guys who just jump into the thing who :
1) in the dance floor, go out there dancing full blast, waving their hands and feet like shamans in a bleeding voodoo ritual in the hopes of impressing her, then grabbing her aside and booya, they do their move!
Pity they mostly they end up either coming across as arrogant playboys, and any girl with a little self respect’s gonna run a mile, or else as so desperately needy for pussy, she’s gonna run ten – or change the country.
Either way, it’s either a polite rebuff, a resounding slap on the face, or a false mobile no. which usually ends up calling the nearest police station (imagine you’re on the morning shift and the first wtf moment on a Sunday morning is when you get a call from some random dude “Eyy babe! You’ve got a fecking smoking body! Free this night??”)
2) Online – aahh, the online. Where everyone is a macho keyboard warrior! Enough said I guess on that huh ???
Then, you’ve got the other end of the spectrum. He’s the guy who’s screwed up the courage to talk to the girl, managed to not make her want to place him in a lunatic asylum, and who’s got the bright idea of coming through the backdoor.
Become the friend! Listen to all her problems – even when she’s whining about some other guy! Go out there early, help her out on every little damn thing she does (ie. do all the shit work for her and let her get the credit) be supportive. In short – be da bleeding emotional punching bag!
Oh sure buddy, by all means. Just don’t hold your breath till she accepts a date with you man, or you’ll get as blue as a fucking Puffo!
Ahhh…the single scene has not changed a single, bloody whit in all the years I’ve been gone.
*facepalm*
Ahhh….you and I should actually sit down and write a dating book.
We’d retire to some part in the UK away from this overgrown island and live it rich till we both croak!
-W
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I think it would be ironic if I were to write this dating book – seeing that I cannot seem to settle down myself (too many weirdos and wannabees out there). However, if you were to tell me to write about my failures and displeasures when it comes to my love life, then I could probably write a trilogy…
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Ahhh…..don’t let me open *that* book now will ya….
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