Are you familiar with waking up just around 10 minutes before your alarm goes off? You do your best to sleep again, as if your life depends on it.
It is during these few minutes that I get the most vivid of dreams. Often than not, dreams that will shaken me for the rest of the day.
Today, it was one of them days.
It felt so real that I woke up with tears on my face.
Do you believe that dreams are meaningful? Do you think that there is a little truth in every dream…? Is it an indication of what will happen in the near future? Is it just your insecurities and worst nightmares manifesting when you are trying to get a few hours of rest?
For the last 3 weeks, I have AGAIN started to struggle with lack of sleep, and/or waking up at random hours of the night. Sometime between 2 and 3 AM seems to be a regular nowadays (even if I sleep after midnight… ugh!).
My body-clock is broken.
And despite this, I have to wake up 6AM latest during the week because I am in work at 7AM; less traffic and parking stress this way.
I have been trying to find a solution for my restless nights as I am becoming overtired now, and still for some reason, I don’t get a full night of sleep. Seems like I am stressed beyond repair.
– I exercise or go for a walk to get my body tired
– Don’t get all worked up and pissed off at people towards sleep time aka alone & quiet time
– Drink Camomile / Herbal tea – Maybe it is time to quit coffee all over again? (I only drink this in the mornings)
– Read before I sleep
– Listen to relaxing music
– Nice, long, bubbly, warm baths before bed
Seems like that none of this is helping, even if I do a combination of two or more.
The more I think about it, the worse it gets.
I am getting frustrated and annoyed, and I can’t figure out a way forward.
Wish I could switch off my brain and my feelings for a few hours a day… Maybe that would do the trick… But I guess I am not a cyborg (half human half machine), so that cannot happen effortlessly.
What I refer to dreams in this article are the ones you actually get while you are asleep, not the other kind which I aspire to reach in the coming days, months or years.
I am not one who dreams a lot, or maybe I do… but I don’t remember them… not even briefly; Except when I have a nightmare.
In real life, we tend to remember or focus more on the bad stuff rather than what is going well and what makes us happy. It tends to be easier to remember how someone has hurt us, rather than the many times they managed to put a smile on our face.
And it seems like when it comes to dreams, my brain tends to highlight the bad stuff too. Not only that, but I manage to wake up at ungodly hours, become annoyed about what made me have such a nightmare, and as soon as I fall asleep with the hopes that the dream ends there, it ironically continues right were it paused earlier. The HORROR!
Because having a restless night is not enough, I end up in a bad mood and wonder why I dreamt this. Although I do not believe that dreams mean something in particular, sometimes I wonder if my nightmares are trying to indicate something wrong with my life.
Maltese houses lack insulation as they are solely made out of concrete. Just to give you a brief idea, the houses absorb a lot of heat during summer. Being inside a house in summer is overall hotter than being outside. Due to the concrete’s heat capacity, the house remains hot during summer nights and makes it impossible to sleep comfortably without a fan or air-conditioning. Exactly the opposite happens in winter. The heat in the house is absorbed by the concrete wall and roof and is emitted outside, because we all know that hot air likes to travel to cold areas. As such, during the night the temperature inside our houses are almost the same as the temperature outside.
Now the bummer is, that in Malta we do not have a proper heating system in our houses. We buy gas by the cylinder which makes it impossible and unaffordable to have a good amount of heaters around the house, unless we use electrical heating. Let’s face it, no one really has this, unless you are extravagantly rich.
Because of this, every morning I struggle to come out of my cosy, warm bed to the cold reality that is my bedroom and the rest of the house. Especially when you can hear the wind and the rain outside, fighting against one another on who is making the most sound… And then there’s the dreadful traffic… Oh, how I wish I could hibernate during winter and wake up in a more convenient summer spot that is not on the Maltese Islands 🙂