All posts by SteffiGrimm

Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth. Not possible, as life changes a person, and we all grow... hopefully for the better. This is an online journal of my thoughts, my findings, and my lessons learned.
Crazy Outbursts, Lessons Learned, Steffi Says

Hate Mail

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You know you are doing a fantastic job with your blog when amongst your website mail, you start receiving hate mail, or better known as jealous mail.

And you know what? How insecure and pathetic can you be, to send over 3 separate mails  one after the other, in a matter of 4 minutes,without the decency of signing them with your own name and contact details? Clearly, the person who has issues, is the person who hides behind a computer and a fake name. Need I say more?

hm.pngAnd to answer your question; yes, I do screen my comments on this page, and this is for a few reasons:

1. Believe it or not, I receive a lot of spam

2. I do not tolerate ignorant people who either try to:

  • Make fun of what I have said, coming into their own conclusions without verifying if it is true with me first
  • Try to troll others who reply to my blog post

I respect everyone who spends some of their precious time to reply to my articles, and I don’t mind being criticised or challenged but obviously, it needs to be in a constructive manner and not done immaturely. I do research what I write about, unless I am writing about a personal experience, but I am only human and I can be wrong at times.

Kindly also bare in mind, that replying to my comments or emailing me disrespectfully may result into a harassment case and I take these matters seriously.

Having said that, all publicity is good publicity; So, THANK YOU 😉

My articles / researches, Steffi Says

Friendzone Galore

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So, we have all heard about the infamous friendzone…

Women are rather experts in this, and men are up there all the time. I suppose it is the worst place to be for most men, and women are at ease because they have yet another platonic friend to talk to and spend time with.

In reality, even if men do not admit this, it is a struggle for them to be just friends with someone who they find attractive. Research most often than not says that men cannot be friends with someone they fancy. I guess my male readers can give their HONEST opinion about this. 🙂

I am the kind of girl, that when I meet a man, I figure out my intentions quickly. Whether the feeling is reciprocated or not; that is another thing… but to this date, I have never dated any of my best or closest male friends which in my eyes are my brothers. Having said that, I know a few rare occasions where a girlfriend of mine has fallen for her best friend.

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Tips on avoiding the friendzone:

  1. Always make your intentions clear
    Okay, I do not mean that when you mean someone you like, you just tell them “I want you to be my girlfriend”; but… if you like someone, although you do your best to get to know them, you would also flirt to test the waters. If the girl flirts back, then this is an indication that she likes you, there’s potentially an opportunity for you to be more than just friends.  Do not become her doormat, we do not feel sexually attracted to these kind of men. Make the girl blush, compliment her!
  2. Ask her out ASAP!
    As much as it makes sense for you to get to know your potential date and partner, do not wait weeks, or worse months to do something about it. Some girls do not like playing games, especially those who are mature and are interested in serious relationships. They’d give you some time, but the chances are that other opportunities arise, and in that case if another guy asks before you, she will say yes and forget all about you.
  3. Don’t talk to her when she is with her friends
    If she invites you to spend time with her and her friends, it is most likely not because she wants to introduce you to her group of friends as her someone special, but because you are friendzoned. Avoid these occasions until after you start dating. Spending alone time with her, gives you more opportunities to show your interest and intentions. If she avoids being alone with you like the plague, this means that she knows what you are trying to do, and she is trying to spur your the embarrassment.
  4. Don’t let her vent and complain with you about other guys
    This is probably the most obvious indication that the woman in your life is going to friendzone you. It is not your job to listen to her problems with men; she has her girlfriends for this. This is in no way intimacy, and remember – we do not live in a fairy-tale world where a girl will suddenly realise she has been dating assholes and that her one love is you.
  5. Don’t be afraid of rejection
    The idea of being rejected is terrifying for both genders. It is most likely that a friendship cannot be leveraged into romance. You are better off being rejected while you are getting to know each other, rather than after you spent so much time together. A rejection at the very beginning could be turned into friendship, but a rejection once your are friendzoned is very awkward, and the probability is that you stop talking to each other altogether. On top of that, think about all that time and effort and possibly money wasted on someone who is not interested in you.
Cardiff, Experiences Abroad, Steffi Says, Wales

Tintern Abbey

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Tintern Abbey has been in my must-see list for years. The reason it took me this long to visit is because it is in the South of Wales, and I have mostly traveled to the North and Mid Wales as it is more accessible for me, due to Manchester and Liverpool airports being so close to my destination (also I have never driven in the UK, but I probably should…).

I would say that the Cistercian abbey of Tintern is one of the most beautiful monastic ruins, not just in Wales or the UK, but within Europe. The location of the abbey is very scenic, and the village of Tintern is tiny. In fact, after spending hours in this serene place, we walked to the village for a snack. We even watched River Wye which runs behind the abbey and through the village. The river has been an important source of water which sustained the villagers and monks, and is till useful at this day and age.

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The abbey was founded in 1131, by the lord of Chepstow and the building and its surroundings kept growing exponentially until its closing down around 400 years later. In the 13th century, Roger Bigod rebuilt the church, and as a thank you his coat of arms was put in the glass of the east window. This church forms the largest part of what is still remaining today, and is a great example of welsh architecture of the medieval period, even if in ruins.

Although it did not have much importance history wise, what is left of this abbey is a major tourist attracting in the South of Wales, as is Caerphilly Castle, Raglan Castle and Cardiff Castle in the capital city of Wales.

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My articles / researches, Steffi Says

So Many People Make These Mistakes With Their Trip To Canada: Don’t Be One Of Them!

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Canada is one of the most popular countries in the world to visit. After all, it’s one of the most picturesque places you can go with dozens of lakes and mountains. And the cities are fantastic to take a look at with so much to see and do. However, so many people make mistakes with their vacation to Canada. Here are some things you should avoid doing when you make a trip to the country!

They don’t travel around by bike

You will be surprised how many people have to pay out to rent a car while on their holiday. But it’s often an essential while in Canada as you want to get out exploring while you are on your vacation. However, you should consider hiring a bike instead. While you are biking, you get to view amazing sights around you. Biking instead of going in a car means you can get to more secluded areas where you can see beautiful surroundings. Also, having a bike is so much easier to get around the cities such as Vancouver. Therefore, don’t make the mistake of hiring a car when you can get around much easier with a bike!

1forestbikeImage Credit

They think it’s the same as America

A lot of people group America and Canada together as the same place! But it’s not the same, and the rules differ. For example, you won’t be able to use your dollars in the country; they have their own unique currency (Canadian dollars). They also have different rules to the USA when it comes to drinking. A lot of places you can actually drink at 18, unlike our rule of 21. Also, not everyone speaks English in Canada. A proportion of the people in America speak French, so it’s best to learn some basic words for your trip. Also, just because you are American, it doesn’t mean you can legally get into the country with just your passport. You might need to apply for an Official Canada eTA so that you can make a trip to the country. You can look online to see if you are required to get one when traveling from your state. You don’t want to end up stuck at the airport as you don’t have the right documents!

They think everywhere is within close distance

Did you know that Canada is actually much bigger than America? It has fewer people living there, but there is a lot more land! In fact, it’s one of the largest countries in the world. However, a lot of people don’t realize that, so they head to Canada thinking that everything is within close distance. But you need to check exactly where you are staying and how far away things are located before you book. For example, Vancouver and Toronto are actually a five-hour flight away from each other! Therefore, choose wisely where you want to stay. If you want to enjoy Niagara Falls while on your trip, you should choose Toronto. That way, you can enjoy famous landmarks like the CN Tower, while only being an hour and a half away from the magnificent waterfall.

2river Image Source

And don’t just stay in the cities while you are in Canada. There is so much more on offer in the beautiful countryside.

Lessons Learned, My articles / researches, My Life, Steffi Says

I Miss You

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As a person who thinks a lot, my mind dwells… Especially in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep… How awful is that? 😉

Well last night, I made a ground-breaking discovery; It might be nothing unusual for some, but in my case it helps me understand myself and others around me better.

When someone says I miss you, how often is it meaningful, and how often is it just a conversation filler? These words are so often overused, that they tend to lose their meaning just like when you say I love you every five minutes. It has become such a habit for people to say it, that you just never know when it is truthful or not. Besides, what are you supposed to say when someone says this to you? Oh yeah… I miss you too.

I have also realised, that there are two kinds of “I miss you”

  • There’s the I miss you when I am bored and lonely
    So basically, this is when you are bored in work, or at home and have nothing better to do. So you would miss certain people in your life. Perhaps a good friend or someone important to you.
  • There’s the I miss you when I am busy and having lots of fun
    The nicest kind of I miss you, as you are thinking of certain people while you are having a blast – You are having such a lovely time, yet you feel something is missing and you wish that person is there to enjoy it with you. True affection, need I say more?

I have never been the kind of person who overuses such phrases.

I am a romantic, I love literature, I think I am passionate and quite an emotional person with the right people.my

This in mind;
I make sure that when I say these words, I mean them.
When I say these words, I am genuine.
And I do not expect a mutual agreement.
Because… you should say such words not to seek attention, but because that is how you feel.

Lessons Learned, My Life, Steffi Says

Happy Birthday to Me

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Today is my 29th birthday.

It is only one year until I’m 30! When I say it like this, it sounds scary… I am growing old! Luckily I have a lot of older friends, so I do not feel too bad about it! Haha 😉

I am not much of a birthday person. As much as I enjoy the fact that family and close friends remember the day I was born, I do not crave the need to do something special on a day like this. (We age on a daily basis not on a yearly basis!) In fact, I am not too comfortable being in the center of attention. I would rather open up a bottle of wine, snuggle up on the couch and enjoy a good movie. If only it was not this warm right now in Malta….!

Having said that, this coming year I will try to be happy for what I have achieved, and where my life is taking me, rather than focusing on the fact that I am growing older. I will attempt to be thankful for who I have become, and welcome the coming year with arms wide open. I am grateful to those who have supported me, and listened to me complain about what was bringing me down. I appreciate especially those who pushed me to do well, change jobs and not to lose hope! When I stop thinking about how unlucky I am at times, I come to realise how good it feels to be alive, how I survived so many difficulties and heartache this year, and because of this, I have become a stronger person. More than ever, I know what I want in life and I am determined to not let anyone get in the way of myself following my heart and my dreams.

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Hello 29, let’s kick some ass!

Experiences Abroad, My articles / researches, Steffi Says

Post-college Travel: How Can You Afford It?

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Post-college graduation is an excellent time for you to start traveling. You have a great education and the means to make some money. You might not set off on your travels right away, but maybe you’re desperate to start making some trips. The only problem is, you might not be making too much money after college. Plus, many people have mountains of debt they have to overcome. So if you want to travel after college, how can you afford it? Fortunately, you have lots of options to make travel affordable. Try some of these techniques to ensure you can see the world.

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Deal with Your Student Debt

When you first leave college, one of your greatest concerns is probably your student debt. It’s hanging over your head, and you want to get rid of it as soon as possible. But there’s a lot of it, and you have other expenses to take care of too. How can you travel when you have so much money to repay? The first thing you should do is look into Obama student loan forgiveness. You might be able to have some or all of your debt removed so you no longer have to repay. The next thing to do is consider consolidating your loans or managing them in another way. Create a budget to ensure you’re making timely payment.

Lock Down a Job First

Going traveling straight after graduation sounds great. However, you’re unlikely to have much money. Maybe your parents will be kind enough to loan or gift you some. But once it’s run out, that’s it. Before you set off on your travels, it’s a good idea to find your first post-college job. Here’s the crucial part: you need one with good vacation time. Of course, that shouldn’t be your only criterion. But a steady income coupled with flexible vacation time will allow you to travel more.

Travel Frugally

Traveling doesn’t have to mean 5-star hotel and first class flights. You can see so much more if you’re willing to budget your travels properly. You can save by staying in hostels or even camping. You can find cheap places to eat or perhaps avoid eating out altogether. If you stay in a hostel or maybe a homestay, you can cook for yourself. Book your trips at the right times to get the best deals. Go to the right destinations too, where you can get more for your money.

Combine Work and Travel

Here’s another idea: work as you travel. You can look for work programs in various countries that allow you to experience a new country and earn money. You could work as an au pair or in hospitality. There’s seasonal work and other opportunities. You could also consider volunteering or combining travel with studying. You can get experience in the workforce while also gaining life experience. You might even learn a new language.

Traveling after college is achievable if you go about it in the right way. Consider your dreams carefully to plan them successfully.

Cosmetics, My articles / researches, Steffi Says

And Relax: How To Create An In-House Spa Experience

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spa_relax_flowersImage credit: Unsplash

We all love those weekends away at a spa. Whether you take your Mom or go with a group of girls, there’s nothing more relaxing than being treated and pampered for a few nights. But busy schedules, money and getting everyone together at the same time doesn’t make it easy to treat ourselves to a lot of them. So why not bring those blissful spa vibes into your own home as well. With a few clever ideas you can create an in-house spa that will ensure you feel relaxed every weekend. Here are some ideas to get you started.

An At-Home Steam Shower

If budget permits and it’s time you renovated your bathroom, why not consider investing in a plush steam shower at home? With advanced technology, it has never been easier to install a steam shower or steam bath into your property. Steam showers can include overhead rain showers, hand-held showers, built-in music, LED  lighting, and even foot massagers. And of course, they enable you to create a hot steamy retreat in your bathroom. Jet systems and steam generators will create the ultimate in-house Turkish bath experience. Cutting edge technology will allow you to feel revived and refreshed in the morning and let you wind down and relax at night. Benefits of a steam shower include improved circulation and recovery after exercise. They also promote healthier, clearer skin by opening up the pores.

A Personal Massage Chair

For the ultimate relaxing experience why not invest in a massage chair for your home? Shiatsu chairs offer everything from Yoga and Chiro programs to Swedish and Shiatsu massage treatments. You may never need the services of a spa again! They are a great way to loosen up muscles and unwind in the evening or on the weekend. If you don’t have the space for a massage chair, you could consider getting a massage cushion instead. Many cushions also come with heat facilities, vibrations and built in rollers too. These are perfect for those times when your muscles need kneading, and there’s no time to book in for a treatment.

Luxury Products

Of course, no in-house spa would be complete without spa experience products. Brands such as Elemis and Decleor offer many super luxurious products that are also used in their very own spas. Decleor products are focused on essential oils, skincare rituals, and innovative treatments. And they also happen to smell delicious too. So if you want the scent of a spa in your home, it’s always worth investing in some high-end products too. Choose everything from bubble baths to body scrubs and body milks to facial night balms for the ultimate in-house spa experience. If you are doing a facial treatment, always keep a few hot towels close by for wiping off oils, just like they do at the spa. Simply soak the towels in hot water then wring them out before use. Adding essential oils to the water will also add an extra spa-like touch to your treatment. For lots more beauty tips follow the click.

Ambiance

To top of your at home spa don’t forget to include a fluffy bathrobe, Egyptian cotton towels and a pair of sleek slippers too. And soothing music and scented candles go a long way to creating a blessed out ambiance too. Engage your senses with relaxing scents, soft touches and calming sounds to feel like you are in a plush spa, even when you’re at home.

England, Experiences Abroad, My articles / researches, Steffi Says

Find Your Centers Of Spirituality Around The World

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Human nature leads many of us to find spirituality during our lives. You may seek religion, meditation, or community. Whatever your choices in life, it can be a wonderful experience to seek out other centers of spirituality. We’re all different, but many of us are united in our love for travel. Why not check out some of these wonderful places next time you take a vacation?

India

The Garhwal region is home to four of the holy shrines of Hinduism collectively known as Chota Char Dham. The area itself is stunning. Just being here can be an experience you’ll never want to forget. The landscape is so beautiful and so peaceful, it’s no wonder people come here to explore the spirituality of the region. The rivers here are very significant, so it’s worth making an effort to explore their paths.

You can also find an important center for Yoga here, with many options for a retreat. If you enjoy the physical side of Yoga practice why not come to explore the internal or spiritual side? If nothing else, it’s a wonderful opportunity to connect with new people. Cities like Mumbai offer plenty of fascinating temples to visit as well. Some are an integral part of beautiful cave systems. Others are magnificent stone structures of extraordinary architectural design.

United Kingdom

Stonehenge is a mystery. It has been there for thousands of years, but nobody can determine with certainty why. Even more mysterious is the answer to the question how. It doesn’t seem to be humanly possible for the stones to have been erected in that place at that time. Yet they exist, and they continue to be an important center of spirituality for people all over the world. The position of the sun has been successfully charted using these giant standing stones. This makes it an important place for gathering during the solstice.

stonehengeImage credit
Standing stones are more common than you think in the UK. Orkney’s Stones of Stenness and the Ring of Brodgar are Neolithic. These ancient structures must have been incredibly important to our ancestors. It was during a time when life on earth here would have been harsh. While they don’t draw as many visitors as the Salisbury Plains, the atmosphere here is no less captivating.

Egypt

Ancient Egyptians worshiped their pharaohs but also had deeply held beliefs of their other gods and deities. Animal shaped statues and ornaments are still revered, and many are on display for visitors to see. The connection to their past is still highly regarded by modern-day Egyptians. But is it perhaps the magnificent pyramids, like those at Giza, that we marvel at.

egyptImage credit

Getting in touch with an ancient culture’s spirituality is more than just an educational experience. It can be a route to finding your own interests and perhaps even the roots of some of your own ideals. More than anything it is a connection to past civilizations not so distant from our own.

We all find spirituality, faith, and connection in different ways and in different places. Why not add a few more places to your list?

 

Crazy Outbursts, My articles / researches, My Life, Steffi Says

A Step Back

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There are those people in your life, who bring out the best in you.
There are others, who just make you mad and question life itself.

Some of the two kinds, inspire me in the best ways.

Finally, I have found my mojo*.
Finally, I can put onto paper what I have held in for so long…

This week, has made me look back, and wonder… When was the last time I was really happy? When was the last time, I felt wanted, needed? When was the last time someone has made me feel important?

The answer is, I can’t remember.

It is true, that when  we are happy, and we are feeling all the positive vibes and the love around us, we fail to take note of it. We take it for granted, just because it is there; we have, we own it.

Some people come into your life, and immediately fit in. It feels like they have been there all along. But what you don’t realise is, that suddenly your life has more purpose. Like, a certain part of you which you forgot all about (willingly or unwillingly) is whole again. You wonder, how you have let yourself rot like this, and accept what is being thrown at you with arms wide open. Why are we patient and forgiving of undeserving people? chivalryWhy do we make ourselves believe that everything is okay when it is not?

What has happened to romance? On being blunt, and saying all that you feel inside? On making memories, and holding on to them for dear life? How can we be okay with the fact that chivalry no longer exists? I for one, would love to be swept off my feet.

*mojo: a power that may seem magical and that allows someone to be very effective, successful, etc.