When your heart is in sorrow
Breaking –
Colliding into nothingness
When you feel like all hope
is shattered –
Drunk out of control
When you risked it all
so, vulnerable
from happiness to numbness
Save me –
Repeat
________________________________________
//By Steffi – 2016.06.01
There it is – possibly one of the biggest questions you can ask yourself, and the people around you.
If you were to ask me, it is very difficult to not know what you want in life.
Okay, I am not expecting you to have it all planned out, or to know every single step of the way, but surely you know where you want to end up, realistically speaking. I don’t think there’s any person in the world, who has never thought about this. I mean how could you? Even if you just day dream…. Everyone has plans… Maybe for some, it is just hard to admit or to share with others. But they are there; at the back of your mind.
I mean…
Surely there are things that you want to achieve, be it small or huge… we are the only ones who stand in our way to make things come true. Or perhaps, someone close to you who can’t seem to make up their mind.
Always remember, no pain – no gain. A life without struggles, is not worth living; or having.
Dear Steffi,
This year I will be 30 years old, and I think it is high time I settle down, get married, have a family of my own. I have been seeing the same man for just over a year and I think we are old enough to take our relationship to the next level, since we both share the same goal of having kids. I will propose to him this summer. Although he is not the man I thought I’d be with, he has proven to be loyal and committed. He doesn’t have a good job, but maybe that will change if we get more serious. He says he cares about me but he is not passionate around me. When I tell him my worries or ask for help, he doesn’t do much about them. He doesn’t mistreat me and that is to me, very important. I have been in lots of long relationships but never found someone who wants to have a family with me. Should I risk it all and propose? My friends are not being supportive.
Hard-Headed
—————–—————–
Dear Hard-Headed,
Just like you, I have not been very lucky with all things love and relationships. I have had 3 major relationships, but they all turned to dust after around 3 to 4 years. I spent months wondering what I have been doing wrong, and what could I have possibly done so bad in my life to deserve this; but I have not yet found an answer. So every time, I pulled myself together, and tried again. I’m 28 years old, and I must admit that I am not where I thought I’d me in my love life. But that does not mean that I’d jump the gun as soon as I hear someone saying that they want to get married and have kids. It is currently one of the goals I want to reach, but is he the ideal partner to do it with?
Are you ready to live a life with no passion and no public affection? Have you even thought how this would affect your future children? And he does mistreat you, if he doesn’t listen to you, if he doesn’t help you…. If he doesn’t try to cheer you up when you are down! It is not the words that make up a man, it is his actions. If he doesn’t help you now, when it’s all about you two, how do you expect him to help you when there are little children running about? I wouldn’t call it a family, if there is no respect, no empathy, no affection and no support…
Being a lover of literature and romance, I consider myself to be a very old fashioned person when it comes to love and relationships. I would never settle for someone who doesn’t find time to make me feel special, and the occasional romantic surprise.
Much Love x x x
I think, that as a person, I hold a very strange obsession and fascination towards trees. It is not something that bothers me, in fact to the contrary, I love it. I find it very pleasant and relaxing to spend hours walking in the countryside and admiring all the gorgeous trees in the environment I am in.
I must admit, I have hundreds of photos portraying trees and close-ups of branches contrasting the sky. If you are curious, have a look at my Instagram profile, here.
Sometimes I even wonder if in my past life I was a tree… Or a tree spirit….
Have you heard of Nymphs?
Nymphs are female spirits of nature in Greek mythology. They are protectors of all things nature; springs, mountains, grottoes, trees, the sea and rivers.
Depending of where they resided, the Nymphs are as follows: Dryads (forests), Naiads (springs and rivers), Oceanids (the sea) and Oreads (mountains), Limoniads (meadows), Limniads (lakes, marshes and swamps), Meliads (ash-trees), Epimeliads (protectors of sheep) and Napaea (valleys and glens) etc.
Nymphs are not considered as eternal creatures; although they lead a long life they are fated to die eventually. The male version of a nymph is the Sat.
My top 3 Nymphs:
each one is born and destined to one particular tree, which she watches over all her life. In some cases a dryad lives within the tree and are not tree spirits. These type of dryads are called Hamdryads. In both cases if the tree perish, they will die with it. If a mortal kills the tree, it is said that the Gods will punish him for the said deed. The dryad, as the protector of her own tree, would also punish a mortal should they cruelly injure their tree.
There are days, and times when I struggle to be inspired; I don’t mean it just in finding something to write about, but also in life in general.
There are times, where I feel stuck… Maybe because I don’t think that there is something that exciting going on in my life currently, or perhaps, I start wondering whether I have made the right decisions in the past… Whether I regret something, whether it is too late to start anew.
Then, there are days like today, where you are browsing the internet out of boredom, hoping you come across something interesting… and it finally happens:
Knowing you are not the only person who has regrets, should give you hope and enough inspiration to keep fighting… To take THAT risk, to get out of your comfort zone and make your dreams come true… Because, what could possibly come out of life if you always play it safe, if you don’t feel truly alive… and happy?
What is your biggest regret? Isn’t it the fear itself… The fear of failing?
Take the leap!
Sometimes, you can come across a piece of art or creation, by a total stranger and it speaks to you.
This is one instance:
The first time I read it, I didn’t realise that certain words had a strike-through, which made me think that that the author was exploring more than the good things in life.
I actually imagined this unnamed artist to try the entire list and than scratching the bad experience once he/she realises it was a mistake. Which makes me question: why is touching neon something we shouldn’t do? Perhaps, it is not something which you shouldn’t do, maybe it is something not worth remembering.
What is your list of things you enjoy doing?
Here is mine:
– Laughing
– Travelling / exploring / adventuring
– Getting lost in a good TV Series / Books
– Capturing Moments
– Food!! Eating… and Cooking 🙂
– Appreciating and being appreciated
– Loving and being loved
– Being inspired
– Learning something new
– Staying up all night talking to someone special ❤
– Being lost in never-ending nature, away from the internet and troubles
…the list is probably never ending.
When it comes to the subject on how valuable we are, one would think firstly on money. It is true that having an indefinite amount of money, would make you to an extend superior than anyone else, because it means that you can live comfortably, afford the little (and big!) things in life. With money one can upgrade his/her gadgets when they see fit, and spend money loosely without wondering if they they’d survive until months end.
But in reality, money is just money, and things are just things. They’d make you happy when you get them, but sooner or later it is just yet another thing you own, which you will most likely put aside when something better comes along. It is only temporary….
You cannot put a price on what truly is valuable in ourselves and our lives… For instance, the memories we make, we will cherish for the rest of our life. Loving the people close to us, will make us feel complete, and despite the fights and disagreements, we all make our peace and never put each other aside. Investing our time on this and reminiscing about this would always bring a smile to our face. So does, when helping someone in need (a random act of kindness), or a friend who is in a rough situation.
Money, and possessing lots of expensive things, is all fine and dandy, but not if you have no one to share them with because you are just focused on work or you are greedy. Nothing makes your heart happier and rich than when you matter to people, and when you are loved for who you are.
Always appreciate what you have, and don’t do anything silly to jeopardise it.
Remember, there are always people around you who want what you have. Never take it for granted.
The sky was crying
hiding away my tears.
It was ok to weep now
no one will see.
Inside, I’m broken
Inside, I’m empty
Without you, I’m nothing
But for you, I was no one.
All the sacrifices,
All I wanted for us,
For you, insignificant
I was just another girl.
There was no point in us,
I was blind.
Treated you as my king,
my everything.
You and I
no longer are,
no longer will be
we are history.
______________________
By Steffi ~
This is not my current situation. I am merely depicting a painful story.
First of all, I would like to apologise for being quiet all week, but it has been a very stressful week with work, with all the bad news (David Bowie, Alan Rickman), and I tried to stay away from social media as much as possible. In fact, I have been only active on instagram which you can have a look at and follow here: SteffiWorld 🙂
Anyway, onto my rant now…
Lately I have been realising that a certain someone has been copying my doings online, and note acknowledging me or even bothering to say they like it, before they do their twist of my posts. Sure, it is lovely to inspire people, but it sucks when people copy you straight up as if it was their own thing.
I know that who reads this, will quite possibly not understand my frustration and simply utter the words “welcome to the Internet! Nothing you do online is yours.” But why is it so difficult for people to admit inspiration, why can’t they ask for permission if they are not capable with coming up with their own ideas?
In the end, I actually feel sorry for them, because once their followers figure out what they’re doing, they shall hit rock bottom and lose all their recognition and popularity. What goes round comes around missy, you will pay in the end! Ha ha ha.
What I refer to dreams in this article are the ones you actually get while you are asleep, not the other kind which I aspire to reach in the coming days, months or years.
I am not one who dreams a lot, or maybe I do… but I don’t remember them… not even briefly; Except when I have a nightmare.
In real life, we tend to remember or focus more on the bad stuff rather than what is going well and what makes us happy. It tends to be easier to remember how someone has hurt us, rather than the many times they managed to put a smile on our face.
And it seems like when it comes to dreams, my brain tends to highlight the bad stuff too. Not only that, but I manage to wake up at ungodly hours, become annoyed about what made me have such a nightmare, and as soon as I fall asleep with the hopes that the dream ends there, it ironically continues right were it paused earlier. The HORROR!
Because having a restless night is not enough, I end up in a bad mood and wonder why I dreamt this. Although I do not believe that dreams mean something in particular, sometimes I wonder if my nightmares are trying to indicate something wrong with my life.
Steffi Says... 