Category Archives: Crazy Outbursts

Crazy Outbursts, My Life, Steffi Says

Can’t stand them Copy Cats!

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First of all, I would like to apologise for being quiet all week, but it has been a very stressful week with work, with all the bad news (David Bowie, Alan Rickman), and I tried to stay away from social media as much as possible. In fact, I have been only active on instagram which you can have a look at and follow here: SteffiWorld 🙂

Anyway, onto my rant now…

Lately I have been realising that a certain someone has been copying my doings online, and note acknowledging me or even bothering to say they like it, before they do their twist of my posts. Sure, it is lovely to inspire people, but it sucks when people copy you straight up as if it was their own thing.

I know that who reads this, will quite possibly not understand my frustration and simply utter the words “welcome to the Internet! Nothing you do online is yours.” But why is it so difficult for people to admit inspiration, why can’t they ask for permission if they are not capable with coming up with their own ideas?

instacopycat

In the end, I actually feel sorry for them, because once their followers figure out what they’re doing, they shall hit rock bottom and lose all their recognition and popularity. What goes round comes around missy, you will pay in the end! Ha ha ha.

Crazy Outbursts, My Life, Steffi Says

People.

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I know, the title of this blog post is a little bit out there and a little bit generic, but today, I am in the mood of writing what’s on my mind and that’s about it. This won’t be the most structured post you will read from my end, but it will contain some raw thoughts coming up straight from my brain onto paper.

Why are some people so hard to figure out?

I’m all up for challenges, as I am not one who likes things easy in life (might be because I always work hard to get what I want, and I was never spoon fed), but sometimes you just want things to go your way without a single word or disagreement.

It bothers me when people behave around me (in private) one way… being all funny and goofy and sweet and loyal…. and then in public they are a totally different person. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that they feel comfortable enough around me and trust me enough to show me their soft side, but why all the changes? Why do you have to turn into a cold / inconsiderate / macho beast when with friends?

Is this normal, or is this because one of their personalities is fake, just to lure people in their life?

As if life is a popularity contest.

I know that as a person, I behave different with different people, but mainly because some of my acquaintances do not appreciate certain qualities I have and I’d rather not create chaos and go with the flow. But with people I know, love or consider as friends… I’d be truly myself…. and if you can’t deal with that… it’s your loss.

Thoughts?

Crazy Outbursts, My Life, Steffi Says

Restless nights and its atrocities

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What I refer to dreams in this article are the ones you actually get while you are asleep, not the other kind which I aspire to reach in the coming days, months or years.

I am not one who dreams a lot, or maybe I do… but I don’t remember them… not even briefly; Except when I have a nightmare.

In real life, we tend to remember or focus more on the bad stuff rather than what is going well and what makes us happy. It tends to be easier to remember how someone has hurt us, rather than the many times they managed to put a smile on our face.

And it seems like when it comes to dreams, my brain tends to highlight the bad stuff too. Not only that, but I manage to wake up at ungodly hours, become annoyed about what made me have such a nightmare, and as soon as I fall asleep with the hopes that the dream ends there, it ironically continues right were it paused earlier. The HORROR!

Because having a restless night is not enough, I end up in a bad mood and wonder why I dreamt this. Although I do not believe that dreams mean something in particular, sometimes I wonder if my nightmares are trying to indicate something wrong with my life.

 

 

Crazy Outbursts, My Life, Steffi Says

It has been 1 year!

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happy anniversary with wordpress

The 30th of December 2014, was the day when I officially started off my blog. One year later, with close to 17,000 unique readers and 180 blog posts, I can happily say that I managed to keep my last year’s resolution. I have had readers from 112 countries around the world with my top 3 countries being Malta, Germany and almost a tie between US and UK.

2015, was a very interesting year for me.

I have had too many opportunities to call it quits this year… had a lot of struggles with the house, finances, friends wise, emotionally… but at this point in time, I feel happy. I have tackled every issue I have encountered; I know I have not fixed them all to their entirety but I know that eventually, I will get there. I have took the bull by the horns; I’m fighting….  and I am winning.

Finally, I feel like I am in a good place, and I am getting what I deserve.

Here is, to another new year of fighting, not giving up and chasing dreams.

cheers

Happy New Year to all of my friends and frenemies!

Crazy Outbursts, Lessons Learned, My articles / researches, My Life, Steffi Says

Which language do you think with?

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This is a weird one, I know.

I have been, for years on end now, thinking and “talking to myself” in a foreign language. By foreign language, I mean English. Malta is a bilingual country, and in fact we start learning English at the young age of six. I always loved the language and the literature that came with it. I always carried a book with me and preferred British TV and movies over Italian (I’m mentioning Italian because all of my friends watched Italian TV when I was growing up).

homer-simpson-thinking

Although I love the English language, I knew that there is one barrier that I won’t be able to surpass. This is, because even though I know that my spoken and written English is better than the average Joe’s, I will never have enough practice verbally to become super fluent and master it as it was my first language.

It was in 2011, when things changed for me. Leaving Malta meant that I had to leave my mother tongue behind (to an extend). When I landed in Manchester airport, I knew that at this point,  I have to deal with people in English. I think, that this is when my head decided that I should start thinking in English. I think, this was rather beneficial (yes, I googled it):

  • Apparently, if you think in a foreign language, you are not only practicing the language itself but also learning new vocabulary. It’s almost like when you are reading a book for the very first time.
  • Another reason according to a study is that since a foreign language provides psychological distance because you need to make a bit of an effort to use it, it will affect your reasoning and decision making in the sense that they become less biased, more analytic, and more systematic.

In reality, in my daily life, unless I am speaking with my friends and colleagues, everything else is done using the English language, which means that I was very surprised that it took my brain this long to switch languages:

  • Reading news, blogs, articles
  • Google searches are conducted in English
  • Reading Books
  • Listening to music
  • Making use of laptops (or computers) and phones using an English interface
  • Watching TV, Movies and Series

Am I the only one who took this leap? Do you think in your native language or did you choose another familiar language to do so? I want to know! 🙂

_________________________________________________
//Obviously this is targeted to users who can speak multiple languages rather than just the one.

Crazy Outbursts, Lessons Learned, My articles / researches, My Life, Steffi Says

Of Paranoia and Disbelief

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One of my worst habits, or shall I dare say defects that I personally dislike in myself is being paranoid.

After being lied to time and time again, a part of me automatically starts thinking of the worst in people, or in situations.

Lets take the following example; My life has been rather decent for a couple of days. Upon realising this, I start getting worried. I am damn aware that this won’t last a lifetime. That something bad is about to crop up and ruin my happiness. BAM! Paranoia switches on and I start looking for the next thing to go bad.
At this point, I will start making lists in my head without even knowing. It’s like 50% of my RAM (or, brain cells) are invested in this. So, from the people close to my heart, who will disappoint me next? Is there one who is ignoring me, or not ever taking the initiative to get in contact with me? Why is he doing this? What have I done? Am I not good enough? I would start thinking this, and try to hide my emotions from them, as if I don’t care on what I think is going on. I’d become “cold”, answer “in short”, appear to be lost in thoughts, preoccupied or unavailable for them. Sometimes, my conclusions cannot even be justified by a decent reason. Lets say, I saw person X online, this person read my message and didn’t get back to me. Or person Y who usually meets me once a week, has been ignoring me completely. And all the above starts going through my head over and over again… So much so, that it deprives me from sleeping and in the morning, I am not only tired, but still thinking about this. Most of the time this happens for days on end.

Although my paranoia is justified because of all the crap I have gone through in past experiences, I must admit, that my brain takes me to places, I never wish existed.

So, if you know a person who suffers from the same thing as I do, let’s just say, if we are bothering you, or you have something to say to us, you are better off being blunt, to the point and just blurt it out. After all, once we cross to the bad side, no excuse will be good enough for your behaviour; You are always better off with being upfront!
In conclusion, nothing good can come out of paranoia, and it could get as bad as we just ignore you for the rest of our lives, with no explanation given. After all, in our head, we believe that you are doing the same to us, or even worse.

//end of rant.

Crazy Outbursts, My Life, Steffi Says

Happy Birthday to me!

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I eagerly waited for church bells to ring at midnight, as I was worried that I will age a year in an instance. No, not really; that is what I thought when I was a kid anyway… but now, I do not believe in this crap anymoreIMG_20151016_122108-01… Same with massive celebrations, when in reality, we get older everyday… and those who love us and care about us, should not wait for this day to appreciate us.

This year, I decided that I won’t bother with organising any birthday event or get-together. I decided I want to spend it with myself. In my own company; Take a drive, enjoy nature… whether it rains or shines. Maybe read a book and sip a glass of wine, then an easy afternoon with my cats.

It has been a busy and rather rough year, but I can’t say I didn’t have fun;

  • I made some new decent friends
  • I am trying to maintain friendships which are worthwhile. You know who you are!
  • I finally made a dream come true, by watching AC/DC live
  • I have also made it to Cardiff and finally saw all things Doctor Who.
  • I kept in track with fixing the house, although there is still more to maintain and make my house a home…
  • I am still writing on here, which is a good thing too. I find that writing things down help me deal with things better.
  • I’ve drank countless bottles of wine, and laughed uncontrollably.
  • I’ve survived another year with two lovely deviled cats
  • I’ve managed to get rid of some people who only contact me when they need a favour or they are bored with their lives
  • I’ve made plans to visit North Wales, and it will happen in a month’s time
  • I have upgraded my phone to my beloved Samsung s6; fancy pants I know
  • Although it is hard for me to finish off a book, this year I have managed to read quite a few. The problem is that it is difficult to find a book which keeps me intrigued
  • I have realised my passion for photography is here to stay, and traveling is the key to my happiness and relaxation
  • Explored more around the island thanks to my new SatNav

I have also learned a few lessons:

  • I have learned to love myself and to respect myself, as I am in the end the only constant in my life
  • It is my life, and i won’t let anyone make me feel that I am doing it wrong. My life, my choices… No one knows what’s best for me better than I do
  • Don’t judge people, even if you were in their shoes
  • Complaining and not acting on it gets you nowhere
  • Don’t let anyone use you for their personal gain

Overall, I feel that I managed to confront most of the challenges thrown in my face with positivity and a dash of panic. I think I did well, but I hope that I keep growing into a strong achievement oriented person as years go by 🙂

Thank you to those of you who stood by me, and pissed me off to no end so that I strive to get better and better at what I do.

Enough now, see you soon!

Love,
The 27 28-year old X

About Malta, Crazy Outbursts, My articles / researches, My Life, Steffi Says

Bikers in Traffic

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I love bikes; I think they are gorgeous and I admire each and every one of the bikers who pluck up the courage to drive in Malta and Gozo.

In case you have never visited Malta, or never driven in Malta… Maltese roads are hell to drive in… Not even the devil himself dares to set his foot here and drive in this pit of danger and death. Angry, irrational drivers, chaos of traffic and to top it all shitty bumpy roads throughout the islands. (Sometimes I wonder why we pay the driving license to be honest!!)

Considering all the above, would it make more sense, to have some kind of rule/law enforced with regards to which side of the motor-lane a bike should drive in? Should bikes overtake or undertake? I’m thinking that this would help everyone on the road, as all car-drivers can pay some special added attention to that side of the road via the mirrors, and hopefully the bikers will also feel slightly safer on our roads… Especially during the peak hours of traffic, namely 7 to 9 am and 5 to 6 pm, when everyone wants to get to work/home and all the main roads are packed and crammed with cars. Zigzagging around cars is not the way to go in these circumstances.

Crazy Outbursts, Lessons Learned, My Life, Steffi Says

Appreciate the good things in life

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Sometimes, when I am struggling with life or I’m just having a hard time, I try to write down what I’m going through. Other times, I try to focus my thoughts on the good things I have in life.

I will share this with you, in the hopes that you will realise that there’s more to life than bad things… Sure, we spend most of our life thinking about what went wrong, or how bad we have it… and what about that damn bad luck or bad timing? But if you fight it, good things can be achieved like…

  • Having a good relationship with your family
  • Having friends that you can count on day in, day out (I don’t have many, but that’s ok! Quality over quantity)
  • Appreciating the little thing
  • Having a job
  • Being able to afford a roof over your head and a daily meal on the table
  • Being able to pay the bills at the end of the month
  • Being your own person, even if this make others cringe… Embrace yourself!
  • Being a decent cook
  • Owning two naughty but loving cats
  • The ability to drive a car and go places (unless the roads are flooding because of heavy rain!)
  • Affording to go on holiday every once in a while
  • Making random people or strangers happy with a simple act of kindness
  • Owning your own little house
  • Being creative in my own way…. through photography
  • Being able to listen to live music and talk with people over a few drinks (Sounds simple, but some of us don’t have the privilege)
  • Volunteering in a charity shop
  • Having that one person (or more!) in your life, that will always make you smile… no matter what you are going through

Surely this is not all…. I’m only getting started 😉

Crazy Outbursts, My Life, Steffi Says

Power-Loss

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Date of entry 06/08/2015 circa 18:00hrs

The joy of being an aspiring writer or a blogger, is to enjoy scribbling no matter what the situation is.
So here I am writing… during a nation wide power cut, trying to make the most of it.

While I was driving, from my place of work in Ta’ Xbiex all the way to Siggiewi, I was thinking to myself…. I will explain better; I drove through Ta’ Xbiex, Msida, Pieta, Blata l-Bajda, Hamrun…. through which, none of the traffic lights were working. All the cars were driving aimlessly towards one another like it is no one’s business to make it across to the other side of the road. I saw cars becoming a version of a roundabout, and people crossing the busy roads between 17:00 and 18:00 frantically, as if life or death did not matter to them at all.

With this in mind, here are my proposals:

  1. Arterial Traffic Lights should be connected to not just one electricity grid; Meaning, if one electricity source fails, they would not collapse, but use a second source, be it from Delimara Power Station, the Malta-Italy Interconnector and so on.
  2. Invest in Solar Powered Traffic Lights – We boast that we have 300 days of sunshine a year in Malta… why are we not taking advantage of this? I have read that we have a fair amount of solar powered road lights, so why not traffic lights? I am sure that this will help keep these little islands of ours in order during power cuts and more!

solar traffic light