Tag Archives: love

15 statements Single People are fed up of hearing

This blog post is targeted to single people or perhaps people who were single for some months in the past.

How many of you have been bothered to no end with friends and family constantly asking you all these dead-end questions, and giving you useless tips?

  1. Are you still single?
    As if, there is something wrong about being single…. Why the unneeded pressure?
  2. Are you seeing someone?
    Don’t you think I would have told you if I’m seeing someone special?
  3.  I wish Tinder existed when I was single…. So many opportunities to have fun and ‘mingle around’
    What are you doing in your relationship, if you are not enjoying it?
  4.  There’s many fish in the water
    Yes, exactly. That’s why I am single… because there are so many great options out there.
  5. It will all happen when you least expect it
    *whistles casually* Will it happen now? How about… now?
  6. I have heard of a good dating site that you should try out…
    Why would you know about it? Are you considering leaving your partner?
  7. I know this great guy (or girl)… Shall I set you up?
    If he is so great, what is wrong with him?
  8.  I miss being single.
    Really? GO HOME.
  9. Maybe technology is your greatest enemy… stop looking…
    How am I supposed to use that dating site that you just suggested?
  10. You are not putting yourself out there enough
    Yes, let me make my own tshirt ‘Single and Looking’ and write my phone number on public bathroom doors
  11. Maybe you are too picky. (Stop looking for a long hair dude who’s a geek.)
    Yes, let me just pick a random guy off the street which I have nothing in common with and ask him out
  12. You are so unlucky, I’d dated you if I was single. You are so amazing.
    Oh wow, thanks for letting me know now…
  13. Maybe you attract the wrong people
    I thought you just said I’m amazing?
  14. You have all the time in the world. You are so young; the world is your oyster.
    Yes, I will be young forever… and maybe forever alone too while I’m at it.
  15. All the good guys (or girls) are taken
    Thank you for all your support. That makes me feel all better.

Appreciate the good things in life

Sometimes, when I am struggling with life or I’m just having a hard time, I try to write down what I’m going through. Other times, I try to focus my thoughts on the good things I have in life.

I will share this with you, in the hopes that you will realise that there’s more to life than bad things… Sure, we spend most of our life thinking about what went wrong, or how bad we have it… and what about that damn bad luck or bad timing? But if you fight it, good things can be achieved like…

  • Having a good relationship with your family
  • Having friends that you can count on day in, day out (I don’t have many, but that’s ok! Quality over quantity)
  • Appreciating the little thing
  • Having a job
  • Being able to afford a roof over your head and a daily meal on the table
  • Being able to pay the bills at the end of the month
  • Being your own person, even if this make others cringe… Embrace yourself!
  • Being a decent cook
  • Owning two naughty but loving cats
  • The ability to drive a car and go places (unless the roads are flooding because of heavy rain!)
  • Affording to go on holiday every once in a while
  • Making random people or strangers happy with a simple act of kindness
  • Owning your own little house
  • Being creative in my own way…. through photography
  • Being able to listen to live music and talk with people over a few drinks (Sounds simple, but some of us don’t have the privilege)
  • Volunteering in a charity shop
  • Having that one person (or more!) in your life, that will always make you smile… no matter what you are going through

Surely this is not all…. I’m only getting started 😉

The Art of Jealousy

Some, argue that jealousy in small doses is good for a relationship or a friendship to grow. I certainly disagree, and I do so from previous experiences.

It is true, that when your partner is jealous of you, (s)he would give you moreattention. But this kind of attention, is not necessarily the good kind of Jealous-muchattention that you are seeking for. Jealousy is more often than not derived from lack of trust and various self-insecurities (Maybe because of previous life experiences or trauma? Psychological issues?). It will urge you to be possessive, be suspicious and in the long run threaten your relationship.

If you can’t trust your partner, why are you with them in the first place?
Issues related to jealousy and trust, will eat you from the inside. You’d become paranoid, with a feeling of abandonment… No relationship with these symptoms can end well.

It is a known fact that leading cause of spousal homicides are related to jealousy. 

On the other hand, your partner will feel badgered and frustrated because (s)he is not being trusted. All the mundane and constant questioning is tiring;
What are you doing?
Where are you?
Where are you going?
Who you’re going with?
These questions are demoralising, leaving the person without any personal space and feeling guilty.

jealous gf

It is okay that your partner wants some space, to do some things (s)he enjoys doing alone.
You can agree on an evening a week to spend apart, play that game you wanted to play, catch up with friends or go clothes shopping. I believe, it is important to have a life outside your relationship.

My advise:
1. Put yourself into his or her shoes – how would you feel if this jealousy issue was the other way round? Does your friend / partner deserve this?
2. Communicate your feelings constructively and without blaming the other person

Baker Street Lovin’

When I was a teenager, I was fascinated by London.
I was even more overwhelmed when I discovered that in London, there was an alternative town by the name of Camden. Every time I visited England, I had to spend a day there shopping until I run out of money. When I moved to England in 2011, London become the least attractive place for me to visit. Sure there were a lot of shops and activities going on, but it was too busy and hectic for my liking. I would go down to London for a major gig or to meet friends who were visiting; but would not bother with it at all otherwise.

But this year, everything has changed.
I had to go back to London for one specific reason: AC/DC.
Any heavy metal fan would know that AC/DC are touring again, and considering their age, it would most likely be the last time (I hope I am wrong!). But this was the sole reason why I step foot in London again, after 3 odd years.

While I was there, I had to fulfill one huge dream which unbelievably I did not do even though I visited the city countless times.

Baker Street

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I would like to think, that if you are reading this, you know where I’m going with this.

Well, geeky Steffi… geeky TV Series.
Hello Sherlock Holmes:

IMG_8231 copy sml

Did you know that 221b, Baker Street is the world’s most Googled address?

IMG_8229 sml
Waiting for Sherlock outside the door
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Sherlock’s store

Perfect Imperfections

Sometimes, we refer to a person or an object as ‘perfect’… But truth be told, nothing can be perfect. In order for something to be perfect, everyone needs to believe it is. We are all individuals (lets forget the sheep-people for this example), which means that we all have our own preferences and perceptions on things.

perfection is a myth

The definition of perfect, is something which has all the desirable requirements, qualities and characteristics one needs. It is the absolute, it cannot get any better.
On this, I would add, that in terms of objects, technology is always advancing. Meaning, what is ‘perfect’ or top notch today, will not be tomorrow…

Perfect, is not truly perfect.
It is perfect only in our own eyes or minds.
It’s a perfect imperfection.

perfect imperfectinsWe simply tolerate some things which we would otherwise despair on, because we convince ourselves that this problem is not important enough to bring us down, or ruin our relationship. Or perhaps, we love the person or the object so much, that we are blinded from its defects.

A beautiful thing, is never perfect.. We were born to be different, to make a(n) (good) impact on each other’s life… Make history!

Perfection (as is beauty) is in the eye of the beholder, is it not?

Why so stupid, when I talk to someone I like?

What is it when you start liking someone, you become so stupid when you are around them? It is not something you do on purpose, it just cannot be helped… It’s like your brain wires are all mixed up, and you just want to make a fool of yourself.

Well; not really. I definitely want to sound cool and want to look awesome in their eyes.

So, I see this guy that I like, and he says ‘hi’. I say ‘hey’ back, my voice didn’t even come out properly. It sounded like a croak.
Lovely, I say to myself. I haven’t talked to this guy for a few days, and even my voice betrays me.

After the awkward silence, he asked how I’m doing, to which I replied that I was great, since I’m done from work for the day. He said that the feeling is mutual.

Hello again, awkward silence.

So, I thought, the weather topic was quite inappropriate since it was too obvious. So, what do I tell this guy? I ask him about work.

Could I sound any more boring?
Funny.

When the words have run out again, I look down at my feet, I tried to pull out a smile, and said ‘Okay, bye!’

-stupid

What is wrong with me? I seriously need help!!

Dream Job

I have been asked the question of what is my dream job several times. When I was younger, this used to change depending on my moods, or what I was going through. I remember me wanting to be a scientist, and even a hairdresser; until I was told I had to study biology for that. I hated anything that had to do with biology and the dissection of a human or animal. One of my childhood friends had to buy a heart of a cow and cut it in half in one of the lessons. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all up for steaks, but this was to me disgusting.

Then, I wanted to become a teacher because it would mean I get the summer off from work like all the students. Then I started thinking on how bored I would, and how much I despised the summer heat that this didn’t sound like such a good idea either.

Growing up, I decided to get into IT, because, I thought, this would mean, working in peace, and not get distracted constantly by customers and people with questions. A couple years later after my graduation, I can tell you that this was very untrue as stakeholders come and go on a daily basis, and I get bombarded with questions face to face, by email, by chat and what not.

No, my current job is not my dream job.drmjob

But, the more I matured, the more I realised, that IF IT IS SOMETHING I LOVE DOING, AND I’D CALL IT A DREAM… HOW ON EARTH CAN YOU CALL IT A JOB? Isn’t it more like a vacation, a hobby, or a pastime.
This got me thinking further.

Oh, I know!

My dream job would be, traveling from one place to another, photographing, and writing about it… And in turn sharing it with my readers…. Companies would pay me to do this for them, and from my end, I would enjoy one holiday after another for free.
Both of us win right? Adverts, promotion and generating buzz for your country, and traveling experiences for me.
Yes please.

Not so “Gone Girl”

This blog post will include some spoilers and my point of view on the book/movie story line and this subject in general.

Finally I have got around reading the book and watching the movie. It is not that I have struggled to read the book, because it is very well written and it keeps you hooked on the story line. The problem is that I am no longer an avid reader as I keep getting distracted easily; with series, cooking, photography, cats and what not.gonegirl

I’d say that the movie was very appropriate and true to the story in the book especially since Gillian Flynn has actually written the screenplay herself. However, I feel it was very fitting to read the book beforehand as it has filled in some gaps and questions that the movie has left out. Case in point, the main reason why Nick has stayed with Amy after all she has done, was because she had further evidence to lock him up. Eventually he finds the evidence and throws it away and that is when Amy stepped the game up and got pregnant.

Psychologically, the plot is very effective, especially since the writer shows the two sides of the story. All the toying with the viewer has kept me curious and on the edge throughout. I do hope that they’d consider turning more of Gillian’s books into movies.

Favourite quote from Gone Girl:
“We have each other, and everything else is background noise.”
It is romantic as hell.

In truth,how many of us have pretended to be better than they actually are to impress someone who they have had a crush on? How many of us have kept the sharade going to salvage what is left of a relationship? In the end, reality catches with all of us, so I think it is better to fall for someone for who he/she truly is… I know, I wont settle for anything else…

524 years ago, King Henry VIII was born

Wishing, a very happy birthday to King Henry VIII; my favourite king from all British history. My fascination about this king started when I was around 8 years, and I was assigned a project at school about this king. Back in those days, we did not have internet available, so we had to go to the library to look up information. During this I learned so much about the king and how much he achieved, and to this date the Tudor age is my favourite era. On the 28th of June, 1491 Henry was born, and at the age of 18, he was declared the king. If his older brother did not die, he would have never become a king, or at least not at a such young age.

There are three things that you need to know about this king:

  1. tudorsHe broke off from the Roman Catholic Church in order to establish the Church of England – all for one purpose; to get his first divorce.
  2. He remodeled the government, adored art and architecture and encouraged modern politics
  3. He  had six wives, two of which have been executed in the Tower of London:
  • He has married Katherine of Aragon, as Spanish princes and they were married for 18 years. He had to introduce divorce in England in order to be able to divorce her. His reason for this is because Katherine was pregnant six times but never has managed to give him a male heir. Only one of her babies survived, a daughter; Princess Mary. At her death bed, she wrote a letter to Henry VIII telling him that throughout her life she has no eyes for anyone but him. She was the most devoted wife he has ever had.
  • Ann Boleyn was his second wife, and their relationship lasted 3 years. She has given him another Princess by the name Elisabeth. Ann Boleyn was not very well accepted as a queen and had a lot of trouble at court. Right after a miscarriage, she was arrested and executed at the Tower of London for adultery and incest.
  • The only wife who has managed to give him a male heir was Jane Seymour. King Henry VIII was very happy and in love, as he felt that his mission was fulfilled, however when his son Edward was one year old, his wife died on him.
  • Henry has first saw his new wife on a painting by Hans Hoblein. He married Anne of Cleves and soon after he found her to be unattractive. To this, he started pursuing on of her maids of honour Catherine Howard. Anne and Henry annulled their marriage after six months, but they both remained friends. In fact, he commanded that she should be treated as the King’s sister.
  • Three weeks after his annulment, he married Catherine Howard, who was still almost in her teenage years. As such, there were rumours going on about her infidelity, about her past and ongoing love affairs. Henry was enraged about this and had her arrested at Hampton Court Palace and later beheaded at the Tower of London.
  • Kateryn Parr was Henry’s last wife. She evidently loved another (Thomas Seymour) however she could not refuse the king’s proposal. She was known for her devotion and intelligence, and she stayed with Henry until his very last breath. She did marry Thomas in the end, but irony had it that she died 15 months later, after giving birth to their daughter.

Prince Edward VI has become king at the age of 9 when Henry VIII passed away. Edward did die from a terminal illness at the age of 15. Upon which, the reign of his half sister Mary started. If you are interested in watching a TV Series about the life on Henry and his wives, I recommend the series by the name of ‘Tudors’.

I’m not dead, just been busy

I’m not dead, just been busy… and I am struggling with a massive writer block… A lot has been happening, but instead of writing about it, I am just enjoying the ride…. ….Except that this week has been the feast week in the town I’m living in. Usually the feast week lasts 7 days… but the Siggiewi people have decided on a 10 day long celebration. So every day, I have been struggling and annoyed at:

  • Lack of parking
  • Closing off the town during feast hours
  • Lots of loud music; be it orchestra-like or singers singing at the main square. This, I can hear from my house, even with all windows and doors closed.
  • Fireworks
  • Lots of rubbish left in my street

I am not a fan of feasts… Never was, never will be… So, I just can’t wait until tomorrow is over. Maybe then, I can get a goodnight sleep and even better, park my car close to home.