Tag Archives: friend

Crazy Outbursts, My articles / researches, My Life, Steffi Says

I’ll be there for you…

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It seems that in the past few years, several people who I used to know or I was at school with, have decided to give up. They have realised that it is time, they’d let their struggles win, and simply let go of their physical life.

The news I read today, has devastated me.

It just makes me realise how fragile we are… How people can appear like they are having the time of their life from the outside, yet they feel dead inside; empty.
I can speak from experience when I say, that some of us can hide their feelings very well from the society we live in, and only break down when alone, in a safe place. I guess, it is difficult to admit that we are weak, in the fear of being ridiculed or shut down, when we show our true feelings. Experiencing neglect and being misunderstood is definitely much worse than feeling sad and insecure in your own head.

But this is our problem. If we don’t admit defeat, if we don’t ask for help… how do we get better? How can we win a fight we are not even trying to battle?

Moreover, if it is not you, but a friend of yours, how would you manage to detect their depression, insecurities and concerns? How can you help them, without making them admit they are suffering and going downhill?

I keep wondering, if someone knew what was going on, maybe the death could have been prevented? If someone cared enough, offered a cushion or a shoulder, tried to understand… Maybe the world could lose less people to suicide.

Lessons Learned, My articles / researches, My Life, Steffi Says

Be Valuable!

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When it comes to the subject on how valuable we are, one would think firstly on money. It is true that having an indefinite amount of money, would make you to an extend superior than anyone else, because it means that you can live comfortably, afford the little (and big!) things in life. With money one can upgrade his/her gadgets when they see fit, and spend money loosely without wondering if they they’d survive until months end.

But in reality, money is just money, and things are just things. They’d make you happy when you get them, but sooner or later it is just yet another thing you own, which you will most likely put aside when something better comes along. It is only temporary….

You cannot put a price on what truly is valuable in ourselves and our lives… For instance, the memories we make, we will cherish for the rest of our life. Loving the people close to us, will make us feel complete, and despite the fights and disagreements, we all make our peace and never put each other aside. Investing our time on this and reminiscing about this would always bring a smile to our face. So does, when helping someone in need (a random act of kindness), or a friend who is in a rough situation.

Money, and possessing lots of expensive things, is all fine and dandy, but not if you have no one to share them with because you are just focused on work or you are greedy. Nothing makes your heart happier and rich than when you matter to people, and when you are loved for who you are.

Always appreciate what you have, and don’t do anything silly to jeopardise it.
Remember, there are always people around you who want what you have.  Never take it for granted.

steffisays-be-valuable

 

 

Crazy Outbursts, Lessons Learned, My Life, Steffi Says

Appreciate the good things in life

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Sometimes, when I am struggling with life or I’m just having a hard time, I try to write down what I’m going through. Other times, I try to focus my thoughts on the good things I have in life.

I will share this with you, in the hopes that you will realise that there’s more to life than bad things… Sure, we spend most of our life thinking about what went wrong, or how bad we have it… and what about that damn bad luck or bad timing? But if you fight it, good things can be achieved like…

  • Having a good relationship with your family
  • Having friends that you can count on day in, day out (I don’t have many, but that’s ok! Quality over quantity)
  • Appreciating the little thing
  • Having a job
  • Being able to afford a roof over your head and a daily meal on the table
  • Being able to pay the bills at the end of the month
  • Being your own person, even if this make others cringe… Embrace yourself!
  • Being a decent cook
  • Owning two naughty but loving cats
  • The ability to drive a car and go places (unless the roads are flooding because of heavy rain!)
  • Affording to go on holiday every once in a while
  • Making random people or strangers happy with a simple act of kindness
  • Owning your own little house
  • Being creative in my own way…. through photography
  • Being able to listen to live music and talk with people over a few drinks (Sounds simple, but some of us don’t have the privilege)
  • Volunteering in a charity shop
  • Having that one person (or more!) in your life, that will always make you smile… no matter what you are going through

Surely this is not all…. I’m only getting started 😉

Advice, My articles / researches, Steffi Says

The Art of Jealousy

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Some, argue that jealousy in small doses is good for a relationship or a friendship to grow. I certainly disagree, and I do so from previous experiences.

It is true, that when your partner is jealous of you, (s)he would give you moreattention. But this kind of attention, is not necessarily the good kind of Jealous-muchattention that you are seeking for. Jealousy is more often than not derived from lack of trust and various self-insecurities (Maybe because of previous life experiences or trauma? Psychological issues?). It will urge you to be possessive, be suspicious and in the long run threaten your relationship.

If you can’t trust your partner, why are you with them in the first place?
Issues related to jealousy and trust, will eat you from the inside. You’d become paranoid, with a feeling of abandonment… No relationship with these symptoms can end well.

It is a known fact that leading cause of spousal homicides are related to jealousy. 

On the other hand, your partner will feel badgered and frustrated because (s)he is not being trusted. All the mundane and constant questioning is tiring;
What are you doing?
Where are you?
Where are you going?
Who you’re going with?
These questions are demoralising, leaving the person without any personal space and feeling guilty.

jealous gf

It is okay that your partner wants some space, to do some things (s)he enjoys doing alone.
You can agree on an evening a week to spend apart, play that game you wanted to play, catch up with friends or go clothes shopping. I believe, it is important to have a life outside your relationship.

My advise:
1. Put yourself into his or her shoes – how would you feel if this jealousy issue was the other way round? Does your friend / partner deserve this?
2. Communicate your feelings constructively and without blaming the other person

Crazy Outbursts, My Life, People worth Remembering, Steffi Says

Farewell to Someone who I used to know

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This weekend, while I was browsing through local online newspapers, I came across an article about a missing young lady with the name of Ruth Attard. Later on, I learned that she is from my home town Hal Qormi, and that she is the same age as me. When her body was discovered in Ghar Lapsi, my childhood friends started getting in contact with me over Facebook and on a group we are all part of.

Turns out that Ruth Attard went to school with me both at primary school and secondary school. She was a year younger than me, but a very sweet looking and well behaved girl. She always carried a smile on her face and was ever so cheerful. We were all trying to remember instances from our childhood where we met her; How she was in Mr. Saliba’s class and how she was Snow White during one of the yearly school plays; How she was so devoted to gym and how often we glimpsed her at the gymnasium during the school breaks.. climbing up ropes, doing somersaults. But none of us stayed in contact with her when we finished school. We never spoke again, we only remember her beautiful face. 5498932469_fd0886c60d_zIt comes to us as a shock, that Ruth is no longer with us. Even more so, because we wouldn’t have ever expected something like this to happen to her, or any one of us.

We are so young, we still have all our life before us. Truth is, we take these things for granted.  We should be thankful to be alive, thankful that we are happy… Glad that we are strong, and surrounded with people who love us, appreciate us and are there for us. That because of all of this, we won’t break apart from ourselves or one another…

While we keep Ruth and her family in our thoughts and prayers, let’s learn something from this. Let’s be more thoughtful about those around us; forgive and move on. Love not hate. Teach not shout. Let’s all communicate with one another. Let’s be in contact while we can… Let’s not forget one another… Farewell to Someone who I used to know… May you rest in peace, dear Ruth.

Funeral is tomorrow 10th June at 14:30 at Saint Sebastian Church, Qormi.

My Life, Steffi Says

Fresh Pasta

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One of the plans I had for this weekend is to meet up with my good friend Mirka and our Italian friend Paddy for a cook-out. We have been saying that we should attempt making fresh pasta, for weeks; if not months. Finally the day was upon us!

For our first try, we decided on keeping things simple, and make tagliatelle.

To make the pasta dough, it turned out to be quite a marathon, or even a workout. We took turns to knead the dough until silky and smooth, and until no flour blobs were visible.

Making use of the Andrew James pasta maker was pretty straightforward for us newbies, and we made the most gorgeous pasta.

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We cooked it in hot boiling water, with some salt and made a mushroom, onion, and bacon white sauce for it.

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It was great, and I can confirm that the first attempt was a major success!!

My Life, Steffi Says

Appreciation is Key

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What a fantastic feeling it is, when you are appreciated for what you do….. Be it your job, your hobby, or just doing something nice for a friend or random person.

After the reviews and coverage I have done during Rock the South Festival, I have  been contacted by a number of musicians who thanked me for this and for mentioning them on my page. Some have friend requested me, and one particular band has contacted me to forward me their album. It was such a nice gesture, and it certainly made my day, if not my week ❤

I won’t mention the name of the band for now; but I will, once I receive the album and I give it a listen… I can’t wait to share this with you, and hopefully it will open more doors and more possibilities for everyone involved.

Day 2 (24) copy

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Crazy Outbursts, Lessons Learned, My Life, Steffi Says

Thought of the day

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I love challenges, and I am always up to getting to know new people. But when it comes to this, I tend to be very selective; In the sense that, I like being around people who are interested in similar things as me, such as cookery, photography, music, travelling… But what I find the most attractive is those who are intelligent, and can hold an interesting conversation. People, who do not pretend that they know everything, and that does not stop them from discussing and learning things. Someone I can learn from, and who challenges me to be better, to test myself. Yes.

Sure, it is lovely to know what others are thinking just by looking at them… But it is also great to not be able to figure someone easily; like an open book. Challenge Accepted!

What does not really impress me is when there are people who boast about themselves, their riches or what they own in order to befriend you. In truth, you are just an object to them, another trophy that they acquired along the way, of what they think is ‘superiority’.

Good things, and good people are hard to come across. Appreciate them, while you have them. And don’t just give up on them just because they’re unique, or somewhat complicated. It’s a gift… They’re worthwhile!