Tag Archives: heart

Would you choose a Mr. Big or an Aidan?

In the past days, due to lack of new series in Summer, I have restarted to watch Sex and the City. My favourite character of the series is Carrie Bradshaw, for tons of reasons. She is a writer, she has curly hair, she is stylish and most of all she got brains! Despite all this, she had so many heartbreaks, her life being a roller coaster of adventures and disappointment; a rather realistic life if you ask me.

I’m in the third season at the moment, and she has just met Aidan, the guy who makes furniture for a living, the guy who she feels so at ease around, and their relationship is just plain sailing; easy. She starts to compare this relationship to her 5 minute long relationship with Mr. Big. Realising there is no drama in her current love life, she starts searching for defects, brainstorming on what is wrong with Aidan… What could he be hiding from her? She gets paranoid, she gets frustrated. She wakes up in the middle of the night wondering. She is so used to living on the edge, fighting to get something done her way that finding a guy who is willing to compromise and who is very understanding pressures her into doubting herself and the future of their relationship.

aidan_mrbig

We all had a Mr. Big in our life at some point;

  • Someone who doesn’t listen
  •  Someone who doesn’t care of the things which are important to you
  • Someone who never bothers to organise or plan any activities for the both of you
  • Someone who is full of excuses (aka full of shit!)
  • Someone who wouldn’t want to join you in work or family functions…

Someone who you should never be with, yet for some unknown reason you fall for him deeply, and despite what your friends and family say… you hold on, even if barely, until everything falls apart, and your heart is shattered into million pieces.

And then you learn, you learn that you should find yourself an Aidan; one who is worthy of your time, effort and most of all your heart!

My question is this – why do we all need a Mr. Big before we can settle down for what we truly deserve? A true romantic; low on drama but enough to get your blood pumping… a gentleman.

It’s ok now…

The sky was crying
hiding away my tears.
It was ok to weep now
no one will see.

Inside, I’m broken
Inside, I’m empty
Without you, I’m nothing
But for you, I was no one.

All the sacrifices,
All I wanted for us,
For you, insignificant
I was just another girl.

There was no point in us,
I was blind.
Treated you as my king,
my everything.

You and I
no longer are,
no longer will be
we are history.

______________________
By Steffi ~
This is not my current situation. I am merely depicting a painful story.

Why so stupid, when I talk to someone I like?

What is it when you start liking someone, you become so stupid when you are around them? It is not something you do on purpose, it just cannot be helped… It’s like your brain wires are all mixed up, and you just want to make a fool of yourself.

Well; not really. I definitely want to sound cool and want to look awesome in their eyes.

So, I see this guy that I like, and he says ‘hi’. I say ‘hey’ back, my voice didn’t even come out properly. It sounded like a croak.
Lovely, I say to myself. I haven’t talked to this guy for a few days, and even my voice betrays me.

After the awkward silence, he asked how I’m doing, to which I replied that I was great, since I’m done from work for the day. He said that the feeling is mutual.

Hello again, awkward silence.

So, I thought, the weather topic was quite inappropriate since it was too obvious. So, what do I tell this guy? I ask him about work.

Could I sound any more boring?
Funny.

When the words have run out again, I look down at my feet, I tried to pull out a smile, and said ‘Okay, bye!’

-stupid

What is wrong with me? I seriously need help!!

You

Your glistening eyes
Gazing attentively;
Cheeky smile

Pondering.

Your dreamy face;
My head spinning
Heart racing

Pumping.

Your smell
Draws me into you
Wanting you

Eager.

Your touch
Body trembles
Awaiting – for more.

________________________
//By Steffi ~

Jonathan Rhys Meyers: Know his Story!

It bothers me to the extend of vomiting, or in the worst case scenario, to the extend that I want to kick someone in the face, when people write about Jonathan Rhys Meyers. It seems, no news is good news for them, unless they catch him with a bottle of vodka in his hands.

Turns out the actor has been seen in London two days ago buying alcohol, while wearing what would appear as ‘normal clothes’. If they saw another person in broad daylight drinking in the street, it would have been al-right. But if it’s Jonathan, then it’s wrong. First and foremost, famous actors, are normal people like us; they can make mistakes and fall off the wagon. Secondly, the media is not helping him get any better by pointing fingers at him.

Jonathan happens to be my all-time favourite actor. He’s talented, he can sing, and he can act. His accent is to die for. But what also really amused me is what has led him into becoming who he is. I would think, most of you wouldn’t even know what he went through growing up.

BrieflyThe Story of Jonathan Rhys Meyers

I’d start by telling you, that his surname was O’Keeffe but when his parents separated, he took his mother’s maiden name. They moved from Dublin to Cork were they lived in poverty at one of the council flats. His mother Mary, drank most of her money away, and Jonathan used to steal from her dole money to make sure that he and his brother had something to eat at the end of the day. He later lived with another family, until he was spotted by a modelling agency. This is what led him to the career he’s most known for now. When he made enough money, he bought a bungalow in Cork for his mother. This is what stole my heart. No matter what he went through in his childhood, he went back to his roots; to his mother, and tried to give her a better life; to save her.

Almost 10 years ago, his adoptive father; his saviour; was convicted of abusing a homeless boy and sent to prison. Soon after his mother passed away.

I think all that has happened to him in his life, has made him what he is; his personality is extreme and compulsive. He works a lot, he trains a lot, he drinks a lot. There’s no in between, no normal for him. Just like he went from poverty to riches.

Jonathan-Rhys-Meyers-lg

My point is, don’t judge a person without knowing their story. Help out while you can. If I had a way to reach out to him I would, but I am just one of his many fans. A nobody.

Revenge Finale Questions and Answers

Upon re-watching the final episode of Revenge again, I have come up with several questions, some of which were answered by the media.

1. Why was the final episode of Revenge just 1 hour long? Usually these are longer, to be able to tie up lose ends… 

The directors of Revenge did not know that the series was going off air. They only found out a week and a half ago. As such this finale was meant to be a cliffhanger for a purpose… because the plan was to have another season… Thankfully, the writers decided to give a happy ending to Amanda and Jack and focus on other character’s revenge going forward.

2. Upon reading that, I wanted to know, what would have happened in Season 5…

They explain the future of some of the characters…. such as Charlotte, being in control of her life and going to NYU to further her studies… Louise plans are to build an estate where Grayson Manor was, and settles down at the Hamptons… and of course Nolan helping in other people’s revenge. Mason Treadwell would have been back with an evil plan…

3. What’s with Amanda’s reoccurring dream?

At first, I struggled to understand this… But now I do. This dream could actually be a reality… It has been left as a open question. Amanda did live on, after Victoria has shot her straight to the heart. Amanda needed a heart transplant after this, and we see Charlotte saying that Amanda should never know who gave her, her new heart. This implies that the heart is Victoria’s…. Bitter-sweet, and if this is truth and not a nightmare, I find comfort that a part of Victoria lived on… Despite all she has done, she had a very troubled upbringing… and all she did was because of the unconditional love she has had towards here children. I would also question the loyalty of Charlotte, she could have done it out love, or just to piss Amanda off. Amanda is rich, she could have gotten herself any heart she wanted…

4. Nolan’s spinoff?

Today, I have managed to come across an interview were they (Showrunner Sunil Nayar) claimed that both the fans and Nolan Ross (Gabriel Mann) are warming up to the idea…. So, now I am hoping more than ever that this will be in the pipeline. I love Nolan, it would be good to have him and some of the cast move on with their own stories… and who knows, maybe Amanda and Jack would have some guest appearances too.

Fire & Ice

fire and iceIn the moment
Whilst darkness caresses
the light

…and the light embraces
the darkness

I struggle to stay alight
leave thoughts behind.

Emotions in dire
my heart afire:

wondering
conflicting
constricting
refraining
from believing –
your eyes so cold
daunted, unbold.

________________________
//By Steffi ~

Inseparable

I knocked
and knocked again.
Then you answered.
‘Hi, nice to meet you’
and so it began.

We talked
laughed
talked
laughed
talked some more
and drank together
at the bar, as we forgot
that there were
others
around us. We were
in a world,
of our own.

You opened the door
you’ve let me in.
From two separate souls
from that day onwards
we became one;
one beat, one love,
inseparable.

________________________
By Steffi~

Undress Me

Undress me from reality.
Untie me from the boundaries;
the expectations of society.
Unwind me from the pain,
the memories of a broken past.

Mend me with your lips
Hold me close;
until I can feel the beating
of your heart…
Pulsing faster, as your teeth
sink into my neck.

________________________________________

//By Steffi – 2015.02.12