When your heart is in sorrow
Breaking –
Colliding into nothingness
When you feel like all hope
is shattered –
Drunk out of control
When you risked it all
so, vulnerable
from happiness to numbness
Save me –
Repeat
________________________________________
//By Steffi – 2016.06.01
There are days, and times when I struggle to be inspired; I don’t mean it just in finding something to write about, but also in life in general.
There are times, where I feel stuck… Maybe because I don’t think that there is something that exciting going on in my life currently, or perhaps, I start wondering whether I have made the right decisions in the past… Whether I regret something, whether it is too late to start anew.
Then, there are days like today, where you are browsing the internet out of boredom, hoping you come across something interesting… and it finally happens:
Knowing you are not the only person who has regrets, should give you hope and enough inspiration to keep fighting… To take THAT risk, to get out of your comfort zone and make your dreams come true… Because, what could possibly come out of life if you always play it safe, if you don’t feel truly alive… and happy?
What is your biggest regret? Isn’t it the fear itself… The fear of failing?
Take the leap!
The 30th of December 2014, was the day when I officially started off my blog. One year later, with close to 17,000 unique readers and 180 blog posts, I can happily say that I managed to keep my last year’s resolution. I have had readers from 112 countries around the world with my top 3 countries being Malta, Germany and almost a tie between US and UK.
2015, was a very interesting year for me.
I have had too many opportunities to call it quits this year… had a lot of struggles with the house, finances, friends wise, emotionally… but at this point in time, I feel happy. I have tackled every issue I have encountered; I know I have not fixed them all to their entirety but I know that eventually, I will get there. I have took the bull by the horns; I’m fighting…. and I am winning.
Finally, I feel like I am in a good place, and I am getting what I deserve.
Here is, to another new year of fighting, not giving up and chasing dreams.
Happy New Year to all of my friends and frenemies!
Some, argue that jealousy in small doses is good for a relationship or a friendship to grow. I certainly disagree, and I do so from previous experiences.
It is true, that when your partner is jealous of you, (s)he would give you moreattention. But this kind of attention, is not necessarily the good kind of 
attention that you are seeking for. Jealousy is more often than not derived from lack of trust and various self-insecurities (Maybe because of previous life experiences or trauma? Psychological issues?). It will urge you to be possessive, be suspicious and in the long run threaten your relationship.
If you can’t trust your partner, why are you with them in the first place?
Issues related to jealousy and trust, will eat you from the inside. You’d become paranoid, with a feeling of abandonment… No relationship with these symptoms can end well.
It is a known fact that leading cause of spousal homicides are related to jealousy.
On the other hand, your partner will feel badgered and frustrated because (s)he is not being trusted. All the mundane and constant questioning is tiring;
What are you doing?
Where are you?
Where are you going?
Who you’re going with?
These questions are demoralising, leaving the person without any personal space and feeling guilty.
It is okay that your partner wants some space, to do some things (s)he enjoys doing alone.
You can agree on an evening a week to spend apart, play that game you wanted to play, catch up with friends or go clothes shopping. I believe, it is important to have a life outside your relationship.
My advise:
1. Put yourself into his or her shoes – how would you feel if this jealousy issue was the other way round? Does your friend / partner deserve this?
2. Communicate your feelings constructively and without blaming the other person
Have you seen the sexy video coming from Honeytrap featuring Emily Bee?
I was very sceptic to watch this, as I thought it will as always be objectifying women, or men in order to get tons of views and become popular.
To my surprise, the video is very sensual; focusing on the colour red.. which is the colour of love, passion, sensitivity, lust and anger. It is a colour that stimulates people, increases blood pressure and has high visibility. Red is courageous and also it evokes erotic feelings; red lips, red nails, red light district…. The Lady in Red. This video takes advantage of the colour, and it energises us to watch, and listen… and to stay alert!
The play with the colours, the fruits and the honey, is what drew me in… how simplicity can still be so sensual. We almost forget this, in a life so fast, when people are so upfront on what they want. Nakedness is not always a turn-on. I for one, love the teasing and playfulness more. The sexual connotations in this music video is also enhanced by the lyrics of the song.
See for yourself…
I love challenges, and I am always up to getting to know new people. But when it comes to this, I tend to be very selective; In the sense that, I like being around people who are interested in similar things as me, such as cookery, photography, music, travelling… But what I find the most attractive is those who are intelligent, and can hold an interesting conversation. People, who do not pretend that they know everything, and that does not stop them from discussing and learning things. Someone I can learn from, and who challenges me to be better, to test myself. Yes.
Sure, it is lovely to know what others are thinking just by looking at them… But it is also great to not be able to figure someone easily; like an open book. Challenge Accepted!
What does not really impress me is when there are people who boast about themselves, their riches or what they own in order to befriend you. In truth, you are just an object to them, another trophy that they acquired along the way, of what they think is ‘superiority’.
Good things, and good people are hard to come across. Appreciate them, while you have them. And don’t just give up on them just because they’re unique, or somewhat complicated. It’s a gift… They’re worthwhile!
Steffi Says... 