Tag Archives: abandoned

The Art of Jealousy

Some, argue that jealousy in small doses is good for a relationship or a friendship to grow. I certainly disagree, and I do so from previous experiences.

It is true, that when your partner is jealous of you, (s)he would give you moreattention. But this kind of attention, is not necessarily the good kind of Jealous-muchattention that you are seeking for. Jealousy is more often than not derived from lack of trust and various self-insecurities (Maybe because of previous life experiences or trauma? Psychological issues?). It will urge you to be possessive, be suspicious and in the long run threaten your relationship.

If you can’t trust your partner, why are you with them in the first place?
Issues related to jealousy and trust, will eat you from the inside. You’d become paranoid, with a feeling of abandonment… No relationship with these symptoms can end well.

It is a known fact that leading cause of spousal homicides are related to jealousy. 

On the other hand, your partner will feel badgered and frustrated because (s)he is not being trusted. All the mundane and constant questioning is tiring;
What are you doing?
Where are you?
Where are you going?
Who you’re going with?
These questions are demoralising, leaving the person without any personal space and feeling guilty.

jealous gf

It is okay that your partner wants some space, to do some things (s)he enjoys doing alone.
You can agree on an evening a week to spend apart, play that game you wanted to play, catch up with friends or go clothes shopping. I believe, it is important to have a life outside your relationship.

My advise:
1. Put yourself into his or her shoes – how would you feel if this jealousy issue was the other way round? Does your friend / partner deserve this?
2. Communicate your feelings constructively and without blaming the other person

Blues and Thorns

In a dimly lit corner,
In a southern bar,
In the loneliest part
of town,
Where the wooden floor
creeks with every step,
I chose the far most
gloomiest table.

The juke box
playing random blues,
an antediluvian tending the bar,
who cannot remember
how to serve a customer.
I stare into space
playing with a thorn menu
my fingers running across holes
in the table.

I,
like this paper
have suffered.
Like the jukebox,
I’m old.
Like the bar,
I’m forgotten.
Like the owner,
I’m alone.

______________________
By Steffi ~

Steffi Advice #3 – Inhabitable Situation with Parents

Dear Steffi,

I am 32 years old and I still live with my parents. I am about to be married in 2 years, and it is best to stay with them as it is cheaper this way and can save more money for the wedding. But they make me so angry, I want to punch a wall sometimes.

Wall Puncher

—————–

Dear Wall Puncher,

I can understand your situation as I have a lot of friends and acquaintances who went through this problem. When you are of a certain age, and you want your own privacy and space, it is a huge challenge to keep living with your parents without any fights and disruptions. Two years is quite some time, and I doubt that you should wait this long. Being stressed and angry with your situation, is not only bad for your relationship with your parents, but also with your soon to be spouse as well as with friends. It can affect your sleep and thus your behaviour at work and your motivation in everything else. I would suggest that you find a flat mate or perhaps see if one of your friends would like to join forces to live together to reduce costs. if you have bought a home with your partner and it’s habitable you can consider moving there, if you are both in agreement to it. You can give it a try for a number of days, and see if you prefer this to your current living situation. Good luck!

Much Love XXX

Sunday’s Valley Walk

It has become a tradition more or less, than on Sundays after lunch, weather permitting, I go for a walk in the country side. During this time of the year, nature is at its best. The grass and the trees are at their greenest.

Today, the weather has been rainy at times, but sunny at others. We left for the walk while it was sunny, but an hour later, when we made it home, it started pouring. I guess I could say we were quite lucky.

Some photos from the walk:

1907935_10153521161589606_9058301235436382407_n copy

10929185_10153521161699606_3362938508354735282_n copy

10847564_10153521161454606_3715892867647558207_o copy

This valley is located in between Qormi, Zebbug and Siggiewi. There are a number of entrances to this paradise. 

The Majestic Conwy Castle

conwy3

When it comes to castles, I have seen quite a few in England and Wales, but Conwy castle has made a huge impact on me. Be it, the fact that it is gritty and dark, and has a very medieval feel to it… Or perhaps because it is the entrance to the historic town of Conwy and of course, the background behind it of Snowdonia.

Look at this image.. you will get what I mean:
Conwy (featuring Castle & walled town) Aerial North Towns & Villages
This is the only photo in this article which is not mine. © Crown copyright (2013) Visit Wales

The castle was constructed under the monarchy of Edward I between 1282 and 1289.

conwy2

The wall of this magnificent castle is made up of eight large circular towers and fours smaller towers. The insides of the castle are almost in ruins, but this adds to the grim factor of this castle. There is however enough remains to let you imagine what living in this castle must have been like.

conwy1

I have spent hours wandering around in this castle. It is large and fully accessible to the public at a very decent price of £6.75 per person.