In the moment
Whilst darkness caresses
the light
…and the light embraces
the darkness
I struggle to stay alight
leave thoughts behind.
Emotions in dire
my heart afire:
wondering
conflicting
constricting
refraining
from believing –
your eyes so cold
daunted, unbold.
________________________
//By Steffi ~
Hold and behold, what amazing season finale we had on Tuesday night (or in my case, since I’m in Europe… yesterday!).
I am still quite speechless about what I have seen, and I will most definitely have to rewatch the episode once more in the days to come. The episode was intense, I felt breathless a couple of times. I was so worried that one of the girls or one of their boyfriends is A!
So, you can imagine my relief when I figured out the anagram…. Charles! And not just Charles… He’s a DiLaurentis! At one point while I was watching one of the earliest seasons of Pretty Little Liars, I was quite convinced that Alison had a twin; but it never gone through my mind that Jason could have a twin. The story was all the time about Alison, and Jason was never really the focus of the plot.
So…. my thoughts on the episode itself and the future epsiodes:
Sometimes, I wonder why I used to spend time with certain people, even when they gave me so much shit….
Is it perhaps, because I did not love myself enough, or is it because I was in love with the idea of someone?
I wonder…
“We love heartbreak, and we love putting it on ourselves. We’re more nostalgic for things that never happened than we are grateful and present in the things that are. We start missing things we never had, that we just created in our minds, in this false, alter-reality.”
Brianna Wiest
So yesterday, I came to another conclusion. Women in general think more than men; they plan, and they think ahead about the future, and what they might need then.
This all came up, while I was doing one of the things I enjoy doing the most at the moment; Thinking about how I will set up my rooms. After I finish up the courtyard this summer (provided that I manage to save up the money required for it), I will get started on my living room.
While wanting it to be appealing and comfortable, I am thinking ahead about how to best handle the lack of storage space in my house (at least, until I renovate the cellar).
I have been looking about possible nice looking, vintage/classic style storage spaces, and coming up with ideas on sofas with storage spaces as well as an awesome TV cabinet, with book shelves and cupboards.
As soon as I mentioned this to a good friend of mine, he started teasing me about being women, and our ‘things’; the walk-in wardrobe, extra cupboards, racks, wall mounts; you name it… He mentioned, how we all want this, but for him a garage is just enough. He made it sound like something is wrong with us for wanting this. I think, men do not understand that we we are not just thinking about the present, but also about the future. Sure an extra storage space might not be required right about now, but what about in a couple of year’s time? If you don’t plan your furniture right, you might end up having to change your furniture to accommodate more storage space, or add up another piece of unmatching furniture which could have been avoided if thought out properly.
Dear Steffi,
My girlfriend of 6 years has finally gotten what she wanted. I have been forced into buying a house with her as I am tired of her nagging; ‘we should get married’. Now I feel unhappy and our relationship is in a mess and it’s all her fault.
Sad but True
————-
Dear Sad but True,
Pressuring someone to get what you want is never a good idea. Forcing someone into doing things for you always has a price to pay. There is no easy way of saying this, but buying that house together was not a very bright decision. This is clearly putting a bigger strain on the future of your relationship. I think it is time to talk to each other, and perhaps talk to a counsellor to see if it is a relationship worth saving or if you should start anew. Buying a house with someone is a huge commitment, and you both do not seem to be at that stage, even if you have been together for 6 years. For a moment, think about yourself, and whether this is the life you want to lead. Imagine what the nagging might get you into next time round!
Remember, loving someone, being with someone and committing to someone should come natural, and with mutual agreement; not enforced.
Much Love XX
In front of my mirror, naked
A reflection of pictures on my wall
hanging there
staring at me, smiling at me.
Continue reading Mirror, Mirror
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