Steffi Advice #2 – Boyfriend harassed into Marriage

Dear Steffi,

My girlfriend of 6 years has finally gotten what she wanted. I have been forced into buying a house with her as I am tired of her nagging; ‘we should get married’. Now I feel unhappy and our relationship is in a mess and it’s all her fault.

Sad but True


Dear Sad but True,

Pressuring someone to get what you want is never a good idea. Forcing someone into doing things for you always has a price to pay. There is no easy way of saying this, but buying that house together was not a very bright decision. This is clearly putting a bigger strain on the future of your relationship. I think it is time to talk to each other, and perhaps talk to a counsellor to see if it is a relationship worth saving or if you should start anew. Buying a house with someone is a huge commitment, and you both do not seem to be at that stage, even if you have been together for 6 years. For a moment, think about yourself, and whether this is the life you want to lead. Imagine what the nagging might get you into next time round!
Remember, loving someone, being with someone and committing to someone should come natural, and with mutual agreement; not enforced.

Much Love XX

2 thoughts on “Steffi Advice #2 – Boyfriend harassed into Marriage”

  1. I am in the process of buying a house with my boyfriend. We’ve ‘only’ been togather for two years and a half, but we have been through a lot togather and always been there for each other, so it feels like much more. We cannot stay one night apart and moving backwards and forwards from our two respective houses has become a huge bother. We know ‘home’ is when we are both togather, and deciding to buy a house and actually start looking was something we arrived at togather naturally. It is a huge commitment and we are going to do it because we know that we want to spend our lives togather.

    Everyone is different, and every relationship has different time-frames. However the fact that six years had passed and you still never actually felt comfortable in buying a property with your partner, is also indicative. Do you want to live your whole life with this specific person, are you doubtful or is the answer an outright no? I think you should have tackled this issue first before getting into such a commitment. At this stage, you and your girlfriend DO need to talk.

    Liked by 1 person

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