Tag Archives: cheater

The Art of Jealousy

Some, argue that jealousy in small doses is good for a relationship or a friendship to grow. I certainly disagree, and I do so from previous experiences.

It is true, that when your partner is jealous of you, (s)he would give you moreattention. But this kind of attention, is not necessarily the good kind of Jealous-muchattention that you are seeking for. Jealousy is more often than not derived from lack of trust and various self-insecurities (Maybe because of previous life experiences or trauma? Psychological issues?). It will urge you to be possessive, be suspicious and in the long run threaten your relationship.

If you can’t trust your partner, why are you with them in the first place?
Issues related to jealousy and trust, will eat you from the inside. You’d become paranoid, with a feeling of abandonment… No relationship with these symptoms can end well.

It is a known fact that leading cause of spousal homicides are related to jealousy. 

On the other hand, your partner will feel badgered and frustrated because (s)he is not being trusted. All the mundane and constant questioning is tiring;
What are you doing?
Where are you?
Where are you going?
Who you’re going with?
These questions are demoralising, leaving the person without any personal space and feeling guilty.

jealous gf

It is okay that your partner wants some space, to do some things (s)he enjoys doing alone.
You can agree on an evening a week to spend apart, play that game you wanted to play, catch up with friends or go clothes shopping. I believe, it is important to have a life outside your relationship.

My advise:
1. Put yourself into his or her shoes – how would you feel if this jealousy issue was the other way round? Does your friend / partner deserve this?
2. Communicate your feelings constructively and without blaming the other person

Not so “Gone Girl”

This blog post will include some spoilers and my point of view on the book/movie story line and this subject in general.

Finally I have got around reading the book and watching the movie. It is not that I have struggled to read the book, because it is very well written and it keeps you hooked on the story line. The problem is that I am no longer an avid reader as I keep getting distracted easily; with series, cooking, photography, cats and what not.gonegirl

I’d say that the movie was very appropriate and true to the story in the book especially since Gillian Flynn has actually written the screenplay herself. However, I feel it was very fitting to read the book beforehand as it has filled in some gaps and questions that the movie has left out. Case in point, the main reason why Nick has stayed with Amy after all she has done, was because she had further evidence to lock him up. Eventually he finds the evidence and throws it away and that is when Amy stepped the game up and got pregnant.

Psychologically, the plot is very effective, especially since the writer shows the two sides of the story. All the toying with the viewer has kept me curious and on the edge throughout. I do hope that they’d consider turning more of Gillian’s books into movies.

Favourite quote from Gone Girl:
“We have each other, and everything else is background noise.”
It is romantic as hell.

In truth,how many of us have pretended to be better than they actually are to impress someone who they have had a crush on? How many of us have kept the sharade going to salvage what is left of a relationship? In the end, reality catches with all of us, so I think it is better to fall for someone for who he/she truly is… I know, I wont settle for anything else…